(Closed) Does it make me a B***h, if…..

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
583 posts
Busy bee

OMG I would’ve either a)punched her in the face or b)burst out crying if this happened to me a year ago.  My Fiance & I got engaged after 6.5 years, and I was close to losing it for much of the last year of that.  I got *insanely* jealous whenever anyone got engaged or married, regardless of how excellent of a relationship they had.  Hang in there!  One day it’ll be you and you won’t have any doubts like I’m sure that girl will eventually experience.

I recently asked my Fiance wtf took him so long, and he said that marriage is so incredibly important that he wanted to go into it 100% absolutely sure that we would make it.  It took him 6.5 years and 1.5 months of living together to get that sure, but he did, and I’m glad he did now because neither of us have even the tiniest hint of doubt.  It’s very comforting.

Post # 4
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

I’m at almost 9 years and it’s rough some days! I would have been really upset over that woman! 

Some people in relationships just don’t understand. They are still in the infatuation stage…

Post # 6
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

At the same time it isn’t that kind of you to put your own frustration on someone else who made the choice to move faster. Obviously you have your reasons for waiting for five years, the same way they had their own reasons for not waiting 5 years. 

Post # 8
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee

I would have also been upset. I’m at 8 years in September and it’s usually those situations that equate to a bad waiting day for me.  

 

I think the worst one for me was when this girl I worked with met her now husband less than 2 years ago. I think they got engaged within a year and spent a year planning.  She was all “man you guys have been dating for like forever” and “why aren’t you engaged yet!?”.  And I did one of my normal excuses, like  “we’re waiting for the right time”. She then said “oh, well he (as in her then fiance) couldn’t WAIT for us to get engaged”.  Thanks, stinky lady.  Brag some more. 

 

 

Post # 9
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We were on year 11 when he proposed to me. So yeah I know how you feel. This year (year 12) we are getting married. I hated people making comments about how long we had been together and how we were taking “so long” ugh. I equally hate when newer married people try to give me relationship advice when they find out I am engaged they have been married less than a year and together for maybe 2. Just because I am engaged that does mean we are new. YOU’RE NEW! LEARN FROM ME!

Post # 11
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ughhh …. Waiting for 6 years… I know the feeling. Don’t worry. My SO (very very soon to be FI) tells me not to be jealous. That the people getting married after only knowing each other a few months/years will have a harder time lasting then we will. We absolutely know what we will be getting ourselves into.

For us we would probably be married already of finances allowed it. But that’s life!!

HANG IN THERE!!

Post # 13
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I hear you!!  I’m also at five years and it’s incredibly frustrating, but I will say that I’d rather wait than rush.  We have five steady years under our belts.  They have four months!  That’s bound to be a very successful marriage… 

Post # 14
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@kansas_nurse:  LOL… Yes my mom would love to be a grandma already like some of her friends. It’s so hard being in a commited relationship and not being able to afford a life together. We don’t have student loans but my SO has had a very hard time getting on his feet. He was in construction for a long time and the economy screwed him. Blaaah!

Post # 15
Member
2437 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@kansas_nurse:  I do not judge people who are quick to become engaged. Love is love and they are the only ones who can make that decision–even if I do not agree with it.

Also, before I before/after I became engaged to my Fiance (dated 9 years) I would let comments like that roll off my back. I would explain to them that we are committed in our hearts–it is the so true. We didn’t even start planning our wedding until a year later. I was in no rush.

The thing is I learn someting from my FH all the time. I feel for the couples who rush in.  The often have to hide things about themselves, things like that.  My FH can barely get away with anyway. I finish his sentences and tell him “don’t even think about it” when he is about to do something. I am one step ahead of him :).

 

Post # 16
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@kansas_nurse:  Wow. I will shut my mouth for awhile about waiting. I sympathize but do not even pretend to understand women who are 3+ because that is just sooo long! 

I want to cry about your situation, but I guess just paint your nails, have a drink with some gf’s and try to make the best of it. 

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