(Closed) Does it matter how I address the invitations?

posted 5 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
11113 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@BriansBride: There are many ways, it’s a bit of a minefield. It depends on how you want to word it. If the bride’s parents are paying then it’s the bride’s parents’ names on the invite, ‘…..requesting the pleasure of….’ If it’s complicated it can be worded as ‘You are invited…’

Post # 4
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

There are soooo many different ways and honestly it’s just come to preference.  All of my invites are

“Mr & Mrs John Doe” and/or (Married couples)

“Mr and Mrs John Doe & Family” (inviting whole family or if you invited some of their family)

“Mr. John Doe & Guest” (Your main invite and whether you expect or know they are bringing a date)

“Mr. John Doe & Ms. Jane Whatever” (if they are together but not married)

because that’s the easiest for me and for me it’s formal enough without tearing my hair out. 

Don’t stress too much about it. Do what you think suits you best.



Post # 5
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

There are plenty of etiquette sites you can look up online. I think it is extremely important to address your invitations correctly. Please DON’T address all married couples as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe if the woman did noy change her name, it’s an insult to get someone’s name wrong, especially if you know or were told they are Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith. 

Married couple go on the same line: Mr. and Mrs. Whoever

Unmarried couples are on separate lines in order:

Mr. John Doe

Miss Jane Smith


I got annoyed with our calligrapher because I carefully wrote everything out and she turned my married friends into girlfriends

Post # 6
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I didn’t go overly formal.

Brad & Cindy Whoever


Brad Soandso and Guest

Those were really the only two variations we had for everyone, lol.

Post # 7
4040 posts
Honey bee

The Etsy vendor, who is making our invitations, is taking care of printing the return address and guest address, on the envelopes. We’re doing the format: Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe. For couples with two different last names, whether married or not, we were told to use two lines. We sent out the save a dates and only got one complaint; 1 woman, in her 30s (suprisingly enough), prefers to have Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.

Post # 8
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I am kind of a stickler for etiquette, so to me there is only one right way to address an invitation. If you are looking to do it the “traditional” way you can look up all the various rules on many etiquette sites– Emily POst is my favorite.

Mr. and Mrs. John David Doe

Dr. and Mrs. John David Doe

THere are lots of special rules for people who have special titles, married couples with different last names, when the woman has a special title and the man does not, military, clergy, etc. 

Do you have to? No.


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