(Closed) Does it matter if shower invites go out first?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think I’d invite anybody to a shower that wasn’t at least extended the option to attend the dw, but to answer your question I’d say that if you’re going tongi ahead and invite people who are only invited to the hometown reception to your shower, I’d either make sure they go out after the reception invites or make it very obvious by word of mouth that there will be a reception invite to follow just to avoid guestsassuming they’re only invited to a shower. 

Post # 5
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

For my first wedding, I did not do Save-The-Date Cards but everyone invited to the showers knew we were getting married.  My showers were WELL before I sent out the invites.  I want to say the showers were 8 weeks before the wedding so the invites for those went out 10 weeks before the wedding…the wedding invites went out 6 weeks before the wedding.  

Post # 6
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My shower invites went out this past week and my wedding invites won’t go out til next month. I think it is pretty common for shower invites to go out before your invites.

Post # 7
5763 posts
Bee Keeper

Shower invites are usually always sent out before wedding invites, as the shower will take place before the wedding/reception.

Post # 8
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - St Aloysius' College, Milson's Point

We made sure that our wedding invitations went out before, but with your timing situation I would suggest ensuring that everyone is more than aware of the post-wedding at home reception. Even overly mentioning at the shower. It is best to over inform people rather than not! Dont want anyone thinking they are only invited to the shower.

Post # 10
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We didn’t have a Destination Wedding, but I got married over 1000 miles from where my parents and most of my family lives, so we also had another large reception in my home state (we had as many people at the reception as at the wedding!). Several of the people invited to the reception were not invited to the wedding itself, but were invited to the shower.

My mom’s friends threw my shower and it was so hard to find a time I could travel for it, so we ended up having it in July for our December wedding! It didn’t end up being a big deal, and no one was offended 🙂

Post # 11
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it’s fine to send the shower invites before the wedding invites.  We did Save-The-Date Cards which went out about a month ago, shower invites will go out this week, and wedding invites will go out early July.

Post # 12
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Mine went out really close to the same time. I didnt really have control over my shower invitations, since it is hosted by my mom/aunt/MOH. I dont think anyone had a problem with it!

Post # 13
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it’s fine. I have always received shower invitations before wedding invitations.
Mine are being sent out this weekend but the wedding invitations won’t go out for another 2 months.

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