does it really matter what it cost

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
6899 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Dani Nichole Shrout :  You are right, they are wrong. An engagement ring is a symbol of a promise or commitment and can take whatever form makes both people happy. Are they concerned about durability or are they just being snobby?

Congratulations on your engagement!

If that is your actual name you should consider changing to something so easily traced back to your real life. 

Post # 3
Member
8962 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Dani Nichole Shrout :  No, it doesn’t matter. Also, why does his family know how much your ring cost? But even more, why do you care what they think? To reiterate: No, it doesn’t matter.

Post # 4
Member
929 posts
Busy bee

Congrats on your ring! If that is what you love, that is all that matters!

Post # 5
Member
5090 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think that if you love it, that’s all that should matter. It “counts” even if there is no ring at all.

My only concern with a really inexpensive ring would be whether it’s made out of materials that will hold up to wear and not irritate my skin. If I love the ring, I would want to make sure it’s going to last, which is certainly possible without spending a ton of money.

Post # 6
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Are you marrying them? Are they chipping in for another ring? No? Then they don’t matter. If the size of your ring and the cost of it was that important, celebrities wouldn’t contribute to deforestation with their abundant divorce papers. 

Post # 7
Member
10085 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Doesn’t matter if you love it. I think sometimes the older generation seems to think that by spending a lot on a ring it shows the suitor is “serious”.

FWIW, there may be more than just the cost of the ring making them not take this seriously. I saw from your previous thread this just kind of came up because your Fiance is enlisting and you guys wanted to be married before he goes. Am I wrong to assume you guys are fairly young (okay, not assuming cause I can totally FB stalk you since you used your RN for your account and see you guys are young; privacy settings, girlfriend!)? I think that could be a big piece of the puzzle as to why they aren’t taking this seriously.

So yeah, its not just he got you a cheap ring its the sum of everything. If I was 18 (i’m guessing here) and my boyfriend gave me a $60 ring and said we were engaged my dad would have laughed me out of the house.

Post # 8
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Lawd, I hate people sometimes.

No, cost doesn’t matter. The love and commitment that goes into buying someone a ring is all that matters. 

Sorry, I just get really irritated by people who think this way. 

Post # 9
Member
1380 posts
Bumble bee

They’re jerks and absolutely wrong. You don’t need a ring to be engaged. You don’t need an expensive ring to be engaged. You don’t need a diamond ring to be engaged. All you need is a partner who loves you and who you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Congrats on your engagement by the way! You should totally share a picture of your ring here. We’ll drool over it with you.

Post # 12
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

Dani Nichole Shrout :  I would imagine this is less about the actual cost of the ring and more that they feel you two aren’t ready to be married.  Are you both supporting yourselves at the minute? What is your plan for marriage?

 

Post # 13
Member
10085 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Dani Nichole Shrout :  There is no right or wrong way to be in love and live your life. It sounds like you’re in a difficult sitatuion where nothing you do will be right to them. Which is sad, but sometimes thats just the way it is. It seems like when they said they would support you they imagined it wouldn’t ever happen or if it did it would be way down the line. Now that you guys are serious, they are freaked.

I see nothing wrong with a $60 ring. I also see nothing wrong with if you want to get engaged at 19/20. My advice as someone who is older who was in a long term relationship at your age is to be engaged but have a long engagement. You and your SO are going to grow sooooooo much over the next 5 years, like seriously, you won’ even recognize 19 year old you once you hit your mid twenties. So, relax, enjoy your relationship, enjoy your SO. Accomplish stuff! You’ll still be together either way. And maybe if his family sees you guys growing and living life and not rushing into being married they might come around and feel a lot more positive when it is time for the actual marriage part.

I say this as an almost 29 year old. So, not too much older than you. I just know had I done all the things I wanted to do at 19 right then I would have had a LOT of regrets as the years went by. I’m glad I slowed down and took my time before making any huge decisions.

 

Post # 15
Member
1445 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

It doesn’t matter as long as you aren’t rushing into anything. I imagine they are mostly concerned because you are so young. A PP’s suggestion of a long engagement is a great idea 🙂 Also, just as a friendly tip- you should change your username so that its not your real name.

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