- 4 years ago
Ditto. The pain of it not working out is compounded by the pain of having your memories tainted by this knowledge.
Don’t be hard on yourself OP, in fact you need to be very good to yourself. Because not only did this POS break your heart & taint your memories, he damaged your self-esteem immensely by making you feel second-rate, settled for. But you’re not second-rate OP, you deserve so much better than that. And he conned you, leading a double life with callous disregard as to how cruelly unfair this was to you, and this has damaged your trust. This is a lot for any person to handle and there is no set time that you should be ‘over’ such a betrayal, all you can do is focus on self-care and rebuilding your life and perhaps returning to the therapist, even just a sympathetic ear can be beneficial.
Now for some blunt talk regarding this POS: Yes, if there was any justice karma would have bitten a big juicy chunk right out of his ass for the way he treated you. But here he is, enjoying career and relationship success, seemingly without remorse. And I sympathize with how awful you must feel when you read or hear updates about his shiny happy new life. But please remember this is only a facade of a shiny happy life, they might seem like a happy successful couple, but that’s all this is, a flimsy superficial facade.
Because he’s ugly beneath that shiny happy surface- an ugly soul, a cold heart, a remorseless, selfish game player. So really, what kind of a prize has this girl won? If I discovered my partner had broken another girl’s heart to be with me, had planned and calculated to cheat with me, had strung her along with empty promises only to cruelly betray her…..well I would wonder what the fuck kind of person could do this and that would be a dealbreaker for me, even if I was the girl he chose. So this woman is either utterly unaware of this snake-in-the-grass’s true character or else, if she knew he was with you and cheating on you, knew the lies he was filling your head with, and went along with it and is now playing happy shiny couple with him, well then her character is pretty flawed and twisted too. Either way, there is no chance this is a fairy tale relationship, not even close. Nothing to envy here and someday you’ll think of a lifetime with this uber-douche as a bullet you dodged. And you’ll have moved on to a truly happy and genuine life, not just the facade they have.