Post # 1
My Fiance and I talk about this sometimes. A few couples we know (married, engaged, dating) appear like they don’t like each other at all! They roll their eyes at each other, bicker over trivial things, and say hurtful things. I know that 50% of marriages end in divorce so do you think it’s because couples like this decide to get married? Do you think they are just acting like that in public? I wonder what it’s like behind closed doors! It makes me sad to see couples not supporting each other or acting as a team. Do you know any couples like this?
This topic was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by jaylynn.
Post # 2
I know TONS of couples who act like that. In fact, the vast majority of my friends act like that with their SOs and until my relationship with Fiance I thought all couples did. Most of FI’s friends act like us- supportive and loving. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even like hanging out with my friends with their SOs. I schedule one-on-one time or “girls night” but we very rarely double date with my friends anymore because it’s just so freaking awkward.
As for divorce– some of these couples just seem to like that relationship dynamic. They are perfectly happy being snarky and rude to each other. I do have a couple friends who I’m sure won’t last, but there are plenty that I imagine will go the distance being assholes to each other until death do they part.
Post # 3
I had a friend who always fought with her Fiance and then husband in public. The last time we got together with them, he called her a bitch. In public. In front of her friends.
they just had a baby. They love being miserable together.
Post # 4
Lol, yeah we talk about this too! And often comment to each other how lucky we are that we are not like that, or that we are so much more loving and snuggly than them, even after being together for nearly twelve years! I guess some people are just different and interact differently with each other. As long as you love your own relationship, that’s all that counts!
Post # 5
MexiPino: Isn’t it CRAZY? I agree, it’s almost all of them!!!
You nailed it-
“I do have a couple friends who I’m sure won’t last, but there are plenty that I imagine will go the distance being assholes to each other until death do they part.”
I would be interested to see the other side. Any Bees find your relationship appears this way in public but it’s not really like that? I know I had relationships in highschool that were like that.
Post # 6
jaylynn: omg yes! I know a couple where the woman just constantly rolls her eyes And is very demanding, get me drink, get me something to eat, get me, get me. Like would it kill you to do it yourself? Then if he says something she doesnt agree with she embarrasses him. And they are getting married in a few months. He on the other hand doesnt seem to be bothered by it? He just laughs it off, so I am not sure if shes being playful? But she always sounds so snotty.
Post # 7
Yes, my husband and I have one set of friends in particular that do that and it gets so uncomfortable. We don’t expect them to be all lovely dovey, but at least nice to each other. My mother and her husband also are pretty shitty to each other and I don’t really understand the point…
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery
My ex and I were like this. Notice I said ex! We bickered all the time over stupid things and intentionally hurt each other in public and private. We were engaged and I pressured him for a ring even though deep down I knew it wasn’t meant to be. My reason for being and staying in this type of relationship for 7 years? I didn’t think I deserved or could find anyone who treated me like they actually loved me. Thank goodness I was wrong!
Post # 9
jaylynn: Everyone is different. Just because some couples are not overly mushy with constant PDAs does not mean their relationship is “less” than anyone else’s, or is not as loving. Some couples love to tease each other. Some have a sarcastic sense of humour. I don’t think appearances to outsiders are *ever* truly indicative of what goes on behind closed doors (obviously abusive partners are another story). In my experience, super “lovey-dovey” couples are just as likely to get divorced as ones who roll their eyes at their partner now and then. In fact, I feel some couples go out of their way to be extra “lovey” with their partner in front of others, and it seems like a facade. So who knows?
Post # 10
We have a couple that we are friends with and they bicker, nag, fight constantly. Darling Husband and I don’t get it at all but they have been together 20+ years and sincerely love each other. I’ve had both come to me and cry (during particularly trouble time) that they were scared they were loosing each other. They’ve both gone to Darling Husband also and said the same things. It’s crazy but it’s just how some couples interact. If it works for them, who am I to judge but I can say I could,in no way shape or form, handle living that way.
Post # 11
Tinatiny1: I agree with your last comment – they love being miserazble together. I think its a game for those people. In a way they have been bought up to believe that is a normal and healthy relationship dynamic they are unable to look outside themselves and know otherwise. We have relationships like this in family and I cringe. Really it just gives my Fiance and I something to reflect on and we can converse with one another and agree or disagree that ‘said’ situation or response is not something we want to come to in our relationship and if it does for either party – for whatever reason – it will be called upon and rectified.
Post # 12
flutterbiikisses: strangely, some of those relationships have outlasted the lovey dovey soulmate types in my circle.
you just never know what will bond people together.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID
minta: I think being rude, calling each other names, etc. is very different than just not being lovey-dovey. I’m often not very affectionate, but I’m never mean.
Post # 14
Tinatiny1: Totally agree with you – See it all the time. I guess I take situations like thais as a lesson and do my best to learn from others and I guess vioce my feelings on things I personally dont agree with so my Fiance is on the same page. Is the best I can do really 🙂
Post # 15
Hmm I don’t think we know anyone like this. I’m thinking that maybe one of my older friends who recently divorced maybe had some spats with her ex in front of us…but it was actually during the divorce.
Otherwise, our friends/family couples don’t seem to argue in public.
In fact, one of my very good old friends is in a horrible relationship. They are street performers together, clearly do drugs, and are homeless. But I love her to the moon and back. So anyway, she was in our wedding as a bridesmaid. Apparently, she and her bf got into a fight at the hotel and they caused some damage (we paid for their stay). The hotel contacted us after they left to let us know about the damage and to tell us what they witnessed. Apparently he was grabbing her by the arm and pushing her and a chair got knocked back into the wall causing a hole. He wasn’t wearing a shirt or shoes and she was saying how she didn’t want to be late for my wedding **bless her heart**. The hotel seemed to feel really sorry for my dear friend. But, I only knew this after the wedding weekend was over. When they showed up they acted fine and didn’t let on.