(Closed) Does it seem tacky to ask guests this?

posted 6 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

What type of wedding is it?  Where will it be located?

Post # 4
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you pitch is as a pot luck it would be okay but you should make it clear on the invite that their menu offering is also their gift. This sort of thing will only really fly if the rest of your wedding is on the smaller and simpler side. If you ask your guests to each bring a dish but then you show up in a $4k gown, that would be no bueno.

Post # 5
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think for a laid back type wedding this could work as long as you notify ppl that they need to bring something. I will say that there are several apps that you can do yourself inexpensively. How many people will be there?

Post # 6
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

OK if you do this, you can’t have a fancy wedding or expensive dress, etc. Their food contribution will be their gift to you. I have a friend who had a potluck wedding and it was okay because they were broke. But if I went to a potluck wedding and saw other stuff was fancy (like a limo, DJ) or if the bride was in a 1k+ dress, it would rub me the wrong way.

Where is your wedding taking place? A lot of venues don’t allow homemade food because of insurance.

 

Post # 7
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I agree with PP, as long as they are told that their dish is a gift. I have been to one of these types of weddings where it wasn’t a big deal at all. As long as it fits with the rest of the wedding.

They did not have a DJ, it was backyard wedding with no professional photography, she did her own hair and makeup. A friend made the cake. They probably had 75 people. At most it cost them $500, I know this because the groom is my cousin and was really proud of the fact.

Post # 8
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

It depends on the style of wedding.  Is this a backyard/community hall-type deal?  Or, are you having a fancy venue and dress? 

If it is laid back and more like a big family get-together, then it is okay to ask.  If you’ve got a nice venue and big dress, etc.  it is not okay.

Post # 9
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

agree with PPs- depends on your location/style/what else you’re spending your money on.

If you have an early afternoon wedding, punch and cake is okay, too. Or you can ask family to help with pot luck. Trying to keep that much food at the right temperature could be tricky, depending on how many guests you have.

Post # 10
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think it is fine to do hors devours, cake and punch only, dessert only, whatever. I don’t think it’s ever okay to ask your guests to bring food to a wedding. I’d arrange my wedding so it was before or after a major meal time and serve accordingly. I wouldn’t ask them to bring food.

Just my opinion, and obviously many here don’t agree with it. I guess I will say if it was a really small wedding with like 20 guests that you know really well – it probably would be okay to do a potluck then. It’s more like a backyard party with a ceremony tacked on. But any sort of formal wedding, large attendee list, etc – no, I don’t like it. I’d rather do less, but provide it all, than ask my guests to bring something.

I’d also worry about food poisoning, to be honest (but I had a bad experience at a party!! 14 of us got sick, it was awful).

Post # 11
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

ONLY if their potluck food contribution is their gift.  If you want gifts, just have a dessert reception after the dinner hour.  

Post # 12
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Kurzweil:  Yes, food poisoning is a concern. I tend to stay away from any potato salad that is sitting out in the sun haha. Thankfully, nobody got sick at the wedding I was at…but you never know….

I would also like to add that I have been to a wedding where only the bride’s family made the food (I can’t really keep a track of how many weddings I have been to!). Guests were not required to bring anything. That might work as well.

Post # 13
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

It is not polite to pass the costs of hosting onto your guests. Hosts are responsible for feeding and watering their guests.

A cake and punch reception is a great way to save money.

Post # 14
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@Kurzweil:  Agreed.  Rather than asking guests to cater the wedding, I would plan (and pay for) the wedding I could afford, and time it accordingly.  If that means cake and punch at an off-mealtime, so be it.

If you do decide to do the potluck, I definitely agree with PPs that the only way this has a chance of going over well is if you are having a VERY basic backyard/church hall type of reception.  If you plan on spending money on things like a limo, floral centerpieces, or expensive gown, that money would be better spent feeding and watering your guests.

Post # 15
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m not down…. this just isn’t something that happens in my circle/area.

I really think you should just have a much simpler event with just cake and punch, or cater it yourself within your budget.

Post # 16
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it also depends some on where you live. Most of Fi’s extended family was shocked that we weren’t having a backyard wedding with a potluck because that’s what they had always done. If that’s the case where you live, go for it.

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