(Closed) does marriage counseling help?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

@rozzy:  I haven’t personally, but my brother and his wife did. He didn’t feel it helped at all, but I’d imagine every situation to be unique 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2708 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We did premartial counseling and found it extremely helpful.  We didn’t go in having any issues that needed to be sorted, but it did help us in other ways.  We learned about the 5 love languages and how others express love, the proper way to fight and tricks to do so, and finally, we were given a common language to discuss things.  So when a problem does arise, we can reference the things and tools we learned and better understand each other. 

It also brought up all the major points that couples need talk about (and agree on) before they are married.  While H and I had already hit all of those points, it was reassuring that we didn’t miss anything.

I really think ALL couples should do some sort of premartial counseling.

 

Post # 6
Member
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@rozzy:  Mr. 99 and I went about a year and a half ago, it really helped us get through a bunch of things that were throwing us off the tracks and reminded both of us, that we mean quite a lot to each other….if you both avail yourself to it, the process and admitting that you might not be as wonderful to be around as you think you are…it works really well.

Post # 7
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My fiance and I have just started couples counsulling to sort out some issues, especially to do with his ex wife.  I found the first session to be somewhat helpful, we’re going to our second session today but I think we’ll need to go a couple of more times to see real lasting results.

Post # 9
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’ve done both and it helped a great deal both times.

I was anti-premarital, figuring we wouldn’t learn anything – and I was surprised how much I did (more about personality differences, communication tips, etc.)

I did one session of counseling after we were married to deal with something not really related to Darling Husband, but it was very helpful as well!

I’d highly recommend it – but, I suppose, it also depends on the quality/content of instruction.  

Post # 10
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

@rozzy:  As long as you’re both committed to resolving whatever issue is causing you distress, I am sure you will be able to work through it.

If there’s anything you want to share, these Bees are wonderfully supportive and full of great advice! 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We’ve done premarital counseling. Not that we were having issues before, but I found it to help us discuss things we hadn’t even thought of thinking/talking about, but also gave us tools to “fight fair” and be better communicators and better able to understand/care for each other’s needs. I would recommend.

Post # 13
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We did marriage counseling and it was nice to talk things over. I have found that we are more open and aware after marriage counseling and I’ve noticed changes in us!

Post # 14
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I did a LOT of Counselling (both couples & personal) during my last marriage.  I will say this…

It can be really eye-opening, in that an outside person will see things that you don’t and comes at it with a whole new perspective.

Whether it is effective or not… well that is really up to the people involved and HOW motivated or invested they are in the situation / process.

*Best Wishes* to you both.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 16
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

Pre-marital and post-marital from time to time. We become more communicative and better at it after each and every session. Now, counseling isn’t a magic trick. It requires effort and work between sessions but with the right therapist and the right attitude it can absolutely be successful. Darling Husband and I are a couple of part-time hot-heads with quick wits and strong personalities….let’s just say we clash on the regular so therapy has become a periodic requirement…though, it’s worth noting that the visit frequency has slowed from weekly to once every 5 months. Yay us! 😉

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