BrideK2Wings : And that’s great for you, but have you faced any major challenges in your first year of marriage? That changes things — when you face major challenges like health challenges, unemployment, etc. things are drastically more tough.
OP, in our first year, we dealt with multiple job changes, my husband lost his job, and I was having major health issues, and switching medications. Some days I don’t know how we got through. We never — EVER — fought before we got married, but all of a sudden we were staring “real life” in the face and it was HARD. I feel you, 110%.
You take things one day at a time. He needs to get a job, any job. Temp work. Working at Target. Being a barista. Working as a waiter. Bartender. Whatever. There is NO SHAME in working that kind of job, especially when you are getting back on your feet. On one hand, you really have to be understanding of his situation as unemployment really results in one’s “worst self”, but on the other hand, he HAS to find a job because you are going to have a baby soon.
Honestly, people are overreacting when they are saying you should get couples’ counseling. It isn’t necessary, but be sure you are supporting him not just financially but emotionally. Be there for him. Listen to him. Let him know he can lean on you. Ask him how he is doing and what you can do to help you find a job faster. You are a team in this, and unfortunately you are facing the “for worse” part of “for better or worse”. I get it, I truly do. Like I outlined above, we went through something very similar and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
One thing that frustrated me was that my husband was unemployed for 8 months and didn’t get out of the house. I encouraged him as much as I could, but he got inside himself and just didn’t feel up to going places, even just for a walk or to the gym. I encourage you to encouage him to find something to do when he is unemployed, whether work out, go for walks, volunteer, etc.