Does marriage make you entitled to any part of your spouse?

posted 3 months ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I mean, he’s not entitled to have a wife.

Post # 17
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee

Divorce.

Post # 18
Hostess
7613 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

I agree with others, your husband does not sound very nice at all. You are entitled…. you are ENTITLED TO BE HAPPIER THAN YOU ARE NOW. 

Post # 19
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

His use of the word entitled as a one liner hard rejection of anything you broach sounds like a major red flag to me. You never claimed to be entitled. That is one major mind f***.

FWIW, as to your initial question, I wouldn’t say marriage entitles a person to anything other than the legal stuff that comes with it. However, people can leave a marriage at any point. To stay in it is hopefully a combined effort of give and take to try to make married life nicer than non married life. 

Post # 20
Member
6008 posts
Bee Keeper

He sounds horrible. Why do you stay?

Post # 21
Member
9208 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

So…what is he adding to your life? He’s gone all the time and barely speaks to you when he is home?

Post # 22
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

You aren’t entitled to be paid by random people. 

You ARE entitled to a paycheck from your employer— because you’ve entered into that relationship with them. Otherwise- why the f would you work there?

I think you ARE entitled to conversations, attention and having needs met by a spouse– otherwise, why the f would you be married?  

Post # 23
Member
3090 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I mean, I guess he is technically correct that you are not “entitled” to his time or attention… but whether you are entitled to it or not is irrelevant.

Being a good partner isn’t about doing the things you HAVE to do. It’s about loving and respecting your partner and prioritizing their wants and needs, not because they are entitled to it, but because you want them to be happy, healthy and fulfilled. 

He is telling you repeatedly that he does not consider you a partner and he does not care about your wants and needs. And he is using the word “entitled” to try to invalidate your very legitimate and normal desires. Wanting to be loved by your husband is pretty fuckin normal and just because there is no law that says he MUST provide you with affection and attention doesn’t mean he can withhold those things and expect you to be OK with that. 

Why are you with someone who is so uncaring???

Post # 24
Member
825 posts
Busy bee

If my SO has had a particularly busy time at work, he will specifically make plans with me for the next available day, regardless of any other invites he’s received. 

Love is putting the other person first and knowing that will be reciprocated. Your husband has it all wrong. 

Post # 25
Member
11465 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Your marriage vows would suggest you are in fact “entitled” to be “loved, honored, and cherished” or words to that effect. 

He’s not doing that. 

Post # 26
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

What we give and receive in a relationship is voluntary and based on mutual commitment.  Entitlement does not fit in there.  That said, we are entitled to seek happiness and our own wellbeing, and can choose to end a relationship that is not meeting our wants and needs.  

In your case I would be clear with him on how you feel and tell him where this is headed if there isn’t significant improvement.

Post # 27
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - California

It does sound like you have reached the end of the road with him. The whole entitlement conversation is a bit odd, but it’s clear that there are some underlying major issues that don’t seem to be fixable. 

Post # 29
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

This is the extreme version of my first marriage and im still healing years later. Gtfo bee he doesnt give a shit about you.

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