(Closed) does my future father in law control my fiance ?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honestly, OP, I don’t feel like it’s your place to judge him on this. You weren’t there when he grew up with the two of them in the same house, there are intricacies to his relationship with both of them that you’ll never 100% understand, because you weren’t there.

People tend to be closer to their same sex parent…it could be something as simple as that. Also, I’m not really sure what you would rather have him do: alienate his dad’s new wife? His dad made his decision, your Fiance treating this woman poorly isn’t going to change anything. Just because he is kind to her doesn’t mean he thinks your dad did the right thing. It’s a difficult enough situiation: why make it harder?

Fiance had a rough time with his dad…and things were said and done between them long before I met him that I don’t know that I could forgive, but you know what? Fiance did. And he and his dad are now extremely close. Because it’s his family, and his relationship with his dad was valuable to him for a variety of reasons that I may never understand. And just because I don’t understand them doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t still respect his choices…they are, after all, his family.

Also, I completely disagree with PP…just because he moved in with his dad does not in any way mean that he might not value your marriage, and the commitments he makes to you. Maybe he thinks the relationship between his parents is just that: THEIR relationship, and he’s choosing to stay out of it.

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