(Closed) Does my invite wording look ok? anything I should change before I print??

posted 5 years ago in Paper
  • poll: is my wording ok?
    yes, you're good to print! : (1 votes)
    10 %
    no... (comment) : (9 votes)
    90 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    738 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Mint2Bee:  I think when you say ‘together with their parents’ it’s a bit much to also list the parents names. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    9952 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here…

    Ok Question…

    Are BOTH sets of Parents still married to one another?

    OR are these Parents & Step-Parents… or some other set-up

    Reason I ask is you have put in the Mr & Mrs Titles for both the Men & Women, and that isn’t needed.

    Clarify this point, and I’ll get back to you on the rest.

    As there are different formats depending on WHO is Hosting, and what their relationship is to the Couple

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    3039 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    As previous poster had already commented on, the beginning doesn’t really work. When I read “Together with their parents” I expect the name of the couple to immediately follow. As it’s not, it’s confusing. Also, I think it looks strange listing the parents the way you’ve done. Since it looks like you’re aiming for a more formal invitation I would rather expect it to say “Mr & Ms John Smith…”

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    3688 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    If you say “together with their parents,” you don’t go on to list the parents. I’d say something like:

    Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
    and
    Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence Doucet

    request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children

    Sarah Erin
    and
    Andrew John

    Although this wording is only used for church weddings, but you get the idea. If you don’t want the invite to be as formal, you could say:

    John and Ellen Smith
    and
    Lawrence and Anna Doucet

    request the honour….blah blah blah.

    That way you list all parents

    Post # 9
    Member
    911 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia

    Also, 

    if youre going for formal, (which I assume you are bc you wrote out the numbers)

    the date should read:

    Saturday, the twenty fourth of August

    Two thousand thirteen

    (no “and” in the year)

    – The year is on it’s own line – 

    and you don’t need at “at” before the time

     

    Laughing

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I agree with others… if you are going to list all parents’ names then you do John & Ellen Smith or Mr & Mrs John Smith… no need for both people to have a last name if they are still together. But if you don’t want to list everyone’s names, then put Sarah Erin and Andrew John together with their parents invite you… etc. If you want parents’ names then put the names followed by “request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of Sarah…” or “request the honor of your presence at the marriage of Sarah….” if a church ceremony.

    You can also just spell out five o’clock (no at) and also no “in the afternoon”. People will know it’s not 5am.

    Post # 11
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I agree with pp’s

    Post # 12
    Member
    2497 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Mint2Bee: The first T should be capitalized but subsequent beginnings of lines should not (unless the word is a proper noun, like “Saturday”). Let me know if that doesn’t make sense and I’ll type out the invitation wording for you.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    Be careful. Your original, “to celebrate the marriage of their children” was good, but PP reccommended you write “Invite you to the marriage of…” which isn’t true. These people aren’t invited to the whole darn marriage. So either say to celebrate the marriage, as you said, or to the wedding of.

    😀

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