(Closed) Does my sister HAVE to be my MOH?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Am I obligated to make my sister my MOH?
    Yes, it's tradition! : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Yes, it's the right thing to do in this situation. : (10 votes)
    7 %
    No, it's not required by ettiquette. : (32 votes)
    21 %
    No, it's your wedding and you can do what you want. : (106 votes)
    71 %
  • Post # 3
    745 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    It’s not a requirement. If you want to make your Mom happy, you should talk to her about your reasons for not wanting your sister to do it.

    You shouldn’t pick someone just because they’re close. Honestly, bridesmaids and maids of honor shouldn’t be expected to help with planning the wedding, so that shouldn’t be your main consideration. Choose your friend if she’s the closest person to you, and she’s who you want standing with you.

    Post # 4
    1473 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Pick your best friend.

    I have 2 sisters and my I was pretty much forced by my mother and aunts to make my older sister  be my Maid/Matron of Honor. My younger sister and I are only a year and a half apart and she is my best friend and I would have chosen her.

    My older sister and I don’t get along at all, we never have and she made sure to make the days leaading up to my wedding a living hell.

    Just remember, this is your day and you only get one (hopefully) so don’t do anything you have to do. I understand the mother thing, ultimately I think that’s why I gave in. But maybe you should sit her down and discuss the pros and cons with her and tell ehr what you feel. It could go a long way!

    Good luck!!

    Post # 5
    2188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    Pick whomever will make YOU happy, it’s not your mom’s wedding it’s yours. You can still have your sister as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

    Post # 6
    544 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I didnt’ make my sister Maid/Matron of Honor, in fact she’s the last bridesmaid, and we are only 13 months apart and grew up together and still talk every day.  But, my best friend and I are super close, my best friend has been supportive of me when my sister hasn’t, and even though my best friend lives an hour away and has two little boys who keep her busy, I wanted her right next to me on my wedding day. 

    Thankfully, my sister hates weddings and my mom didn’t care either way…so we didn’t have hurt feelings. 

    Does your sister want to be your MOH??   If my sister had wanted to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, I may have had a harder decision.

    Post # 8
    4676 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    have you considered making both MOH’s – they would be co-MOH’s, you make your mom happy, and still have the person asside you that you want.  

    I never even declaired my Maid/Matron of Honor, I have my sister and friend as bridesmaids, both of which I value in different ways.  I think I’ll have my sis stand next to me but I felt like making one Maid/Matron of Honor over the other was like favoring one over the other.  I couldn’t do it! 

    Post # 9
    513 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    You can have who you like as your Maid/Matron of Honor.  I am having my best friend not my sister, in fact I am not having my sister in the bridal party at all but rather her daughter. 

    Like another PP said you should at least talk to her and see what her thoughts about it are – she may not wish to as she is older and would prefer that you just include her children.  IF she does expect to be in the bridal party then you could have both a:

    Maid of Honor = an unmarried woman

    AND a

    Matron of Honor = an already Married woman


    Post # 11
    3303 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Angkinah:  Oh this is even better. Maid and matron of honor! Problem solved.

    Post # 12
    1418 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I always think it must be hurtful when a bride does not choose her sister as a Maid/Matron of Honor unless there is serious bad blood there. My mother feels the same way you do. My sister and I have a good relationship, but are not close, and she is my Maid/Matron of Honor. MY Fiance did not choose his brother as his Best man but they really don’t have a relationship at all and he lives on the other side of the country. I do think it’s different with guys, though.

    Post # 13
    1402 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Yes at what @armychica06: said!  Doing a maid of honor and a matron of honor would solve all your problems!

    Post # 14
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I second the matron suggestion. Then she has a title, but you can still also choose the maid of honor you want. 

    Post # 16
    4193 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    I selected “No, it’s your wedding and you can do what you want” before I even read your post.

    You can also have two matrons of honor- I only had two attendants, and did that, vs picking one.

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