Post # 1
My husband and I aren’t religious. I was raised Catholic but have not been to church in many years. I do believe there is a higher power, but I’m still figuring out my feelings about the whole thing. Religious people don’t make me uncomfortable but I choose not to engage in religious discussion often because I don’t feel I’d have anything really informed to say.
My husband on the other hand is a staunch atheist. He gets very uncomfortable when people default to religion in casual conversation. The other day we were talking to a friend (very religious) and she said “Jesus will guide you if you open your heart to him.” When my husband tried to change the subject to something else, her faithful views kept popping up in the conversation. He became frustrated and ended up leaving (he didn’t say anything to her, but I could tell he was getting annoyed).
So what’s your take? Should people not assume you share their religious beliefs in conversation? Or is it just how some people were raised, no big deal (my take on it)? For that matter, do door to door preachers bother you at all?
Post # 3
My grandparents and most of my extended (but very close) family are religious, but my close family isn’t. It depends who it’s coming from, and how they’re approaching it, but for the most part it’s okay… not my favorite topic of conversation, but I don’t avoid it entirely. I also went to Christian school, so I’m knowledgable enough not to feel in the dark on pretty much every issue/bible quote/story/christian perspective.
Heck, I even check out the WB christian boards from time to time to see interesting things :).
I chose “It’s a little preachy”
Post # 4
I think that what you believe should come out in your daily life… If I love Jesus then it shouldn’t be something that people one day go “Oh she was a Christian?…”
I have God in every part of my life so it comes up generally in any topic.
I find that the “uncomfortableness” that you talk about your husband having is found just as much in Christians as people that have other beliefs. From what I’ve seen and in my own study and discussion I’ve found that conviction = offense. When someone feels cornered in their way not being right they want to duck out. Christians & Non-Christians alike… =/
Just what I’ve seen in others, but primarily my own life…. turns out I don’t like being told or made to feel I need to “shape up” either. *who knew* lol
Post # 5
I’m not religious. However, I was sent to Catholic schools and have read the bible full through 2 times which very few people can actually say. My entire extended family (my parents are not religious) however reference god constantly. They are also the people who consistently preach through facebook as well and tell me to “look to god for the answers” when I am complaining about my day at work or something. However, I just let it go.
DH’s family are Jehovah Witness’, and preach constantly as that is what they are taught. I engage in full debates with them about their beliefs, because they attempt to push them upon me. They are religious recruiters and I despise it. They are required to go door to door “on service”. I take joy in the fact that I tend to know more about the bible and can challenge some of the insane things that come out of their mouth. DH’s step mother can never just come to the house, she must always arrive with religous printed material. They also discussed that our house was that of sinners, when we were living together prior to being married. They are also some of the most hypocritical people that I know. For instance, DH’s brother and his gf are still JW’s. His gf discussed with the step-mother her being uncomfortable with us living in sin, however, they have sex and sleep in the same bed 3 to 4 nights a week, but they just lie about it. Their religion also preaches short courtships. Approx. no more than 6 months of dating and you must be married within a year or less of being engaged. So, all of the family members lie about who they are dating. However, they teach you not to lie. It’s ridiculous. They also refer to their religion as “The Truth”. For instance they say the are part of “the truth”, they don’t say they are Jehovah Witness’. They say this so that they point out that all other religions are not “the truth” but lies and therefore wrong. Ugh. Let me get off my soapbox.
Post # 6
Fiance and his family are pretty religious, but I’m an atheist. One time he said something like, “I’m so glad the big man upstairs brought us together,” and it kinda made me cringe because that’s just not how I think it came to be, but whatever, I can get past it.
I frequently have to ride in the car with my boss for work and she insists upon listening to gospel loudly for the entire ride. To me, that’s pretty annoying and honestly, a little presumptuous.
Post # 7
@runsyellowlites: “When someone feels corner in their way not being right they want to duck out.”
Maybe I’m reading this wrong, but my husband doesn’t feel his view that there is no God is wrong. He just doesn’t like having religiously based conversations about topics that weren’t religious to begin with… since it doesn’t apply to him. In other words, he feels he should be able to have neutral conversations with people even if they are religious. He wouldn’t say something like “Well since there’s no God…” in a conversation, so he doesn’t get why a religious person would say “Well God says you should do this…”
Post # 8
@mwitter80: Raised as Jehovah’s Witness myself. =/
OP-Yes and no. It depends on who I am talking with an how respectable they are of course. Most of the time yes, it does bother me. I’m an atheist myself and a lot of time talking with religious people is uncomfortable. They call it zeal, I consider it to be fanaticism often times.
Door to door preachers? I don’t mind them as much because I know where they are coming from (at least the genuine ones). However, when I was a JW I could not stand going door to door. It was so uncomfortable and I felt annoying. I HATED feeling like an intruder. People would get snippy and I would sympathize with them. I wished I could tell them “I’m so sorry for intruding upon your home, but I have to do this! My mom is making me!”
Post # 9
I was raised in a devout, Catholic home. I have a hard time with folks who make their judgements known about those who don’t share their faith. I’d like to think that I’m on a good path for me and that those on other paths are on the ones on which they belong.
Happily, I don’t have to deal with evangelical types or those who feel compelled to tell me what they feel I ought to be doing.
Post # 10
@mwitter80 My mom was a Jehovah’s Witness as a child (for a period although the family went back to and was primarily Catholic)… she actually had a dream that she was standing in this line with her family.. another line right next to theirs.. she looked ahead to the front of the line and saw that in their line the person was being consumed by a fire… she frantically started trying to tell her mom that they were in the wrong line! eek!
The one thing that have to say about them and Mormons is they did get it right about going out and telling the world, and making disciples. <— they definitely “win” in that area.
Post # 11
“Jesus will guide you if you open your heart to him.”
As an athiest, yes, this is pretty offensive. I don’t go around telling Christians that they have to believe what I believe, and I expect/demand the same from them. Luckily, now that I don’t live in the Bible Belt, this is never an issue for me anymore.
Post # 12
@Tunacupcakes: Do you struggle with your upbringing and being an athiest now. Darling Husband is an athiest, but he struggles with it sometimes, because he himself references feeling like he is missing out on the closeness and unity that the religion provides. However, he would never go back, because he believes he feels this way because the religion is similar to creating a cult like relationship with god and eachother.
Post # 13
@KatyElle Well believing in God and Jesus and that we were made for Him and by Him… then the belief goes on that going against that wouldn’t deny that the heart was still made to be close to Him and ultimately wants that. Most of the time it’s not seen as a heart issue and is then rationalized out throught thought of just not wanting to “hear it”
aka the heart cries out for Jesus regardless of what the mind says… atleast that’s how we were made.
So his feeling of uncomfortablness is still coming from that whether he thinks or not.
That’s just going by my understanding of scripture, God, and how He made us.
Post # 14
I’m somewhat religious so I voted for Kingy who is not religious. He thinks its annoying but it doesn’t really offend him unless the person says something that’s actually rude “you’ll go to Hell if you don’t believe in God”
ETA: Kingy doesn’t necessarily not believe in God, he just doesn’t know. He will go to church with me if I ask (I only go a few times a year) and has agreed to raise our kids “Catholic with an open mind”… so that may skew him not really caring when people talk about these things
Post # 15
@crayfish: I get it. I think I’m more tolerant because I was raised in a religious home, but realized at a young age I had doubts. My husband has often had people give him the “Come to Jesus” talks and it annoys him to no end.
Post # 16
@runsyellowlites: yikes on fire huh? that seems a little over the top.
You are obviously very religious. My heart does not call out to Jesus. I think Jesus is a made up character, similar to the smurfs. I’m not trying to offend you in anyway and I respect your beliefs entirely, however, we are obviously coming from different places.