(Closed) Does religious conversation bother you if you’re not religious?

posted 9 years ago in Secular
  • poll: Does religious conversation bother you if you're not religious?
    I'm religious myself so it doesn't bother me at all : (37 votes)
    12 %
    I'm not religious but it doesn't bother me : (29 votes)
    10 %
    It's a little annoying/preachy but I can overlook it : (133 votes)
    44 %
    It bothers me : (77 votes)
    26 %
    I'm religious and it bothers me : (24 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 129
    Member
    2017 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @SoupyCat:  Thank you! Yes, that is what I meant and I just posted a long-winded response to Kingy.

    Post # 130
    Member
    265 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I get annoyed by people mentioning god in casual conversation, because it assumes the other person is also religious/that particular religion. And for me as an atheist it’s a little eye-rolling. I basically feel like that sort of thing steamrolls over my personal belief system (it’s not as though I can respond ‘well actually, there is no god’ without being even ruder than they are!) Then if I don’t contradict them, because I’m being polite, they assume I’m also religious and talk about it more! Gaaah. I say save the religious AND anti-religious talk until you’re with a group of likeminded people.

    I think it’s proper etiquette not to mention god or religion in front of acquaintances, because you run the risk of making them uncomfortable (even potentially other religious people who may feel faith is a very private thing). And isn’t that what etiquette is, having thought for the comfort of others?

    Post # 131
    Member
    188 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I get irritated when people talk about religion…

    mostly because I know a good majority of those people preaching don’t even understand the bible and other religions themselves.

    I was raised a Seventh-Day Adventist. They’re most known for that stupid prediction in the 19th or early 20th century which I find kind of embarrassing. But the result of that god awful mistake is a majority of Seventh-Day Adventists study the bible. They’re are core beliefs (ie. Holy Trinity, Saturday = Sabbath, etc) but they debate a lot of the rest which always made it interesting since they’d ask questions like “what do you think this passage means” instead of “this passage means this” when I was younger. They also encouraged us to learn about other religions. Although they don’t want you to marry outside of the religion (something I dislike) which obviously gives them that same “my religion is best” vibe. I personally don’t believe in a god mainly because I believe in how social constructs dictate religion mostly out of necessity. But I admit that it was still pretty nice to grow up in an SDA church which was fairly liberal.

    My Boyfriend or Best Friend was raised as a Catholic… and he knows nothing about the bible and has never read any of the stories/morals (He didn’t know any of my favorite children’s bible stories T_T). All he learned at church was how to recite prayers and participate in other ceremonies with priests, percessions, and kneeling. I know with other catholic churches it’s probably different… but most of the ones I talked to had similar experiences. My grandmother was a devout Catholic and would carry a bible with her a lot of places. But she never actually ever opened that bible up to read it. A priest always told her what it said. Anyways, my Boyfriend or Best Friend doesn’t really believe in a god either so we’re both atheists.

    Most of our closer friends know this but I don’t tell most people because I’ve gotten… “it’s so sad that you’re so well educated but you won’t be saved” responses a lot XD Really annoying after a while. There are also people that look at you like you have no morals if you don’t believe in something. So if anything, I claim I’m agnostic, non-denominational, or say “I was raised as…” and end it at that because if I don’t they’d just keep preaching >.<

    Post # 132
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think religion (along with politics and money) should generally be avoided in conversation. It’s inappropriate to assume someone else shares your faith or that they want to talk about it.

    On the receiving end, I also think it’s in poor taste to argue with someone over their beliefs. Either the person is sincere in their expression and just doesn’t recognize their religious zeal or they’re looking for an opportunity to “witness” and proselytize. In the first case, you embarrass them, in the second, you give them the opening they were looking for. I’m with the OP’s husband, either politely change the subject or excuse yourself from the conversation if it makes you uncomfortable.

    Post # 133
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    The only thing I feel about it is this:  some of my closest friends, people that I love and respect, are quite religious.  When they start talking about it, it makes me kinda side eye them like “wow, do you really believe that kind of stuff?”  Some of it would be like me trying to believe in the Easter Bunny.  Especially “that is just the devil trying to steal your happiness.”

    UGGH honey do you really really REALLY think there is a horned guy hanging around tryin to rob my happiness?

    Post # 134
    Member
    814 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I get frustrated when I’m trying to have a serious conversation or debate with someone and they try to use religion as evidence. Each to their own, I hold no prejudice against anybody’s beliefs, but when this happens 9 times out of 10 I’ll end up leaving and going somewhere to stop myself from getting angry Undecided

     

    I have a good friend who is very religious (as is her husband) and back in high school she’d sometimes bring up God when we were talking about hot button issues but she knew the rest of us were Atheist and wasn’t forceful or pushy. She respected our beliefs and we respected hers.

    I’m all for people bringing up religion as long as they don’t try to push it on me, or tell me that someone is ‘wrong’ for whatever reason because God says so, especially my gay sister.

    Post # 135
    Member
    1601 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I am religious (conservative Christian), and it sometimes bothers me! I just went to a cousins wedding in a very small town where the whole population either works at or attends the Seminary, and I wanted to tell these people to shut up. Honestly they made me feel like a horrible Christian because I didn’t end every sentence with “but God will provide”.

    Post # 136
    Hostess
    11165 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @runsyellowlites: Couldn’t have said it any better myself. That feeling of being “preached” to doesn’t just apply to those that aren’t Christian. As a Christian I have found myself in many situations where I am being told either subtlely or point blank that my beliefs are incorrect, wrong, or somehow made to feel estranged.

    The key to any conversation that even broaches subjects that are sensitive such as religion, abortion, politics is respect. I have respect for my fellow man and would hope that they would return the favor.

    Post # 137
    Member
    2580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I don’t have a problem at all talking religious, even if I feel like I’m being preached to.  Heck, I’m LDS (Mormon) and we have a bazillion missionaries out there talking about the church.  I would hope people are respectful to them when they’re discussing my religion, so I like to show the same amount of respect when people like to talk to me about their religion.

    What I do have a problem with is when people “tell” me what I believe (that aren’t LDS).  I have heard some serious and almost sad things told to me what people think Mormons believe.  When I try to discuss what they have been told is not true, they get mad/offended/defensive…Oh well.  I try. lol

    Post # 138
    Member
    814 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    @JsDragonfly: I find a similar thing as an Atheist. “Oh, so you don’t believe in morals?” *rage* Actually I do, and my morals are thanks very much!

    It’s one thing for a person (regardless of their beliefs) to push their faith (or lack there of) onto someone else, it’s another matter all together to tell someone else what their own beliefs are! I’d never imagine doing that.

    My grandmother passed away a few months ago and I was talking about it with a friend at work. My grandmother was in wonderful health and her death came as a complete shock. Another work mate, who wasn’t in the conversation comes over to me smiling and says “it’s ok, she’s with God now and he has a plan”. I’m not a violent person but I wanted to…. well let’s just say it made me mad. There is a time and a place and IMO work is not either.

    Post # 139
    Member
    3135 posts
    Sugar bee

    I put I can ignore it.  Especially on the net.  The moment a post mentions anything the slightest bit preachy, I either skim past it or change threads.

    If the person in real life tries to talk to me about it I simply tell them that the conversation stops there.  I change the subject and if they keep on, I walk away, no matter if it’s a stranger or someones Grandma.  I have no time for it.

    Post # 148
    Member
    441 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @Magdalena:  

    I have one question for you and one comment

    Question: You say you were agnostic before but are a believer now.  Would you mind telling me what changed your mind?

     

    Comment: I think the power of “positive thinking” or sending good thoughts out into the universe for someone is just as likely to do something as praying to any god.  Why do you say there is a zero percent chance?  I feel like that’s just as ignorant as athiests who say they are 100% certain there is no god.

     

    Post # 149
    Member
    724 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Yes it bothers me. It almost always sounds preachy and “my way is better than your way.” I don’t push my believes on others and I don’t like having others’ pushed on me. 

    I do have to say, as much as I love her, my mom is the worst. When she starts talking religion to me, I’ll ask her to please stop and she’ll keep on until eventually I’m just upset and irritated and either want to get off the phone or go home. 

    Post # 150
    Member
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Not religious at all and while I try to stop myself from doing the eyeroll thing, I generally keep my mouth shut. Mainly out of respect, yes they are probably not being respectful to me for going on about their beliefs, but I choose to be the better person. (For the most part)

    I do say “Bless you” when someone sneezes as a courtesy, not in a religious sense.

     

     

    Post # 151
    Member
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @Magdalena:  I generally say, “You are in my thoughts during this difficult time.” or something along those lines…. I am never good at those sorts of things anyway…expressing sympathy…horrible at it.
     

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