(Closed) Does religious conversation bother you if you’re not religious?

posted 9 years ago in Secular
  • poll: Does religious conversation bother you if you're not religious?
    I'm religious myself so it doesn't bother me at all : (37 votes)
    12 %
    I'm not religious but it doesn't bother me : (29 votes)
    10 %
    It's a little annoying/preachy but I can overlook it : (133 votes)
    44 %
    It bothers me : (77 votes)
    26 %
    I'm religious and it bothers me : (24 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 43
    Member
    7586 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @ellabee: Don’t feel sorry. I’m pretty tough and can handle. Plus Darling Husband has been seeking therapy for years and is quite strong himself. We are both quite intelligent and just speak our minds. I actually like the debating as it’s part of my nature and Darling Husband just tells them to shut the heck up 🙂

    Disfellowship is quite awful. They also have a “pre-disfellowship”, which is where you apologize and they “reprove” you. They make you sit in a different area in the “meetings” (mass or church) and your speaking privelages are taken away.  At one point DH’s brother and gf had to go through this process, because her roomate tattled on them for dating and not declaring their courtship (they had been dating for 2 and half years already at this point)

    Post # 45
    Member
    1643 posts
    Bumble bee

    @2ndtime–saw it right after I posted.

    Post # 46
    Member
    558 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I am not bothered at all by people mentioning their faith in conversation, as @amnystik says she does.  Faith is the most important part of many people’s lives, and it would be a little ridiculous to expect it to not come up.

    However, I have a major problem with people projecting their belief system onto people. Most recently, one person wrote on our online wedding guest book, “Remember, Jesus is in the middle of every successful marriage” and followed it up with a bible verse reference that I looked up (it pertained to living in darkness and claiming to live in light).

    Fiance and I are both agnostic/searching, so I found this pretty offensive and over-the-line.

    Post # 47
    Member
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @runsyellowlites:  I think what you said is fine.  There’s a big difference between having deep personal faith and feeling like Jesus or God will guide you and telling other people it will happen.  I may not feel the same faith that God will help you out, but that doesn’t mean I’d be offended if you did.  I may not agree with everyone else’s beliefs, but I support everyone’s right to believe what they do as long as they’re not using it as justification for causing harm.

    Post # 48
    Member
    7586 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @Entangled: So very well said.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1253 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I just think everyone needs to respect eachother and not force their beliefs (or lack there of) on anyone that isn’t interested in hearing it. Telling someone their beliefs are “madeup” can be just as offensive and annoying as a christian telling you that you heart yearns for Jesus.

    Post # 50
    Member
    2018 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @misshoneybun-it’s cool and I was totally agreeing with you too:)

    Post # 51
    Member
    7776 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Yes and no, but mostly yes, it does bother me. Like some others have said, I am open to serious, intelligent religious conversation where all parties are open-minded and genuinely interested in what the others think.

    Unfortunately, that’s not usually the case so I try to avoid the religion talk at all costs. It usually ends in me being told that I’m going to hell. Awesome. I do not appreciate being told that I am stupid, misinformed, ignorant, damned, am in denial, etc. I am very tolerant of other people’s beliefs and I expect the same respect from others.

    Post # 52
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Now… I do have to add that if I’m talking with other believers I’m probably.. well no.. I am MUCH more likely to tell them… “Now you know that’s not what God says….” and would probably get into a more in depth talk of scripture to engcourage & convict to change or move into a different way of handling the circumstance… ie,. When a friend talked about about much she wanted to stay mad at her ex husband b/c something he did against her… I told her “now you know that you’re not suppose to hold on to that, he doesn’t even know what he’s doing (really he doesn’t.. he’s not too bright, even to himself)… you need to just forgive him and let it go, you know God’ll take care of you as you keep your heart clean of all that junk.”

    But I don’t tell people that don’t believe the same that. I will stand by my conviction if they challenge it but I don’t think there’s fault in that.

    Now as for “pushing” onto people…. what I don’t understand in the offense is if you saw that a bridge was out and you saw a car of people headed for the bridge… would you not try and stop them?…. Same will being a Christian… If I believe that there’s a way to live that would make life better why wouldn’t I tell someone… I tell people about sales, new coconut frappe’s at Starbucks and everuything else… right? lol

    That’s my full stance… =D

    Post # 53
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    If the people are your friends and family, I think both of you should let them know that such conversations make him uncomfortable and that they should do their best not to bring it up. Tell them often enough, and if they respect the both of you then I think it would eventually stop. I’m in pretty much the same boat as you; however my twin sister is very religious. But she knows(and sort of accepts) that the DH isn’t, and she won’t bring up anything unless he engages her in conversation about it…the social and psychological aspects of religion still fascinate him even though he doesn’t personally believe in it. My mother and stepfather know this as well; my stepdad is believes but isn’t religious, and being the tactful soul he is, he hasn’t ever brought it up to the Darling Husband. My mom has moved from organized religion, but she still has a pretty deep faith. Mom is not entirely approving of the fact that he doesn’t believe, but she knows that he loves me so instead she’ll encourage me to try to get him to move back to religion. But thank goodness he’s in the UK(and I’ll be moving there soon), else I think she wouldn’t be able to help herself after a while…and then my own struggling faith would come out, and the problems that would arise from that? Whew! I hope you and your hubby can come to terms with your friends and family..

    Post # 54
    Member
    1253 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @runsyellowlites: Listen, I believe in God and Jesus, I pray and read my Bible every now and then. But I don’t think it’s polite to compare some people’s lifestyles as driving towards a bridge that is out. That is downright offensive!! Believe what you will, but when you start making rude remarks about other people’s choices, you might just be pushing people further away from God. I think there is a way to bring up God, without making people run away screaming, and you don’t have that tact.

    Post # 56
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’m atheist but I don’t get offended when people say that they are going to pray for me or tell me that God will lead, but most of the time people don’t say that to me because they know I’m atheist. I have no problem saying that their prayers are not needed but the thought is appreciated. I also have no problem talking about the foundation of my beliefs, they may be different from the person who is religious but I feel just as strongly about my atheism as he/she does about their religion.

    Post # 57
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @Bostonsmom no… generally that’s not what I’m doing. I said how I have conversations with non-believers and posted how I talk different with people who are…. The people that go door to door, even when respectful, do so for the reason I presented in the illustration… but that’s not “how” they do what they do. That’s all I was presenting.

    The topic ‘Does religious conversation bother you if you’re not religious?’ is closed to new replies.

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