Post # 1
So I was thinking about how in movies, people often joke that people who are anxious or tightly wounded or stressed should sleep with someone to help relax them (not that I’m advicating using people – definitely not) or sometimes when a character has sex, the next day they’re all glowing and chill and relaxed. So I’m curious about whether or not people really find sex relaxing or a stress-reliever. Obviously, this is predicated on the sexual encounter being positive and that the couple in question are not generally having sexual issues.
Also if you don’t have sex for awhile, do you feel frustrated or jittery or anxious or irritable or sensitive? I’ve seen that type of thing in media a lot as well – people becoming kind of crabby or overly sensitive if they cannot fulfill their desires for a significant amount of time.
I haven’t been intimate with anyone yet so I cannot pull from my own experience and I don’t talk about sex with my friends (lol, I actually joke that I don’t even know if most of my friends are virgins or not because we never talk about those things) so I turn to the good people of the internet for a response. I know you shouldn’t expect real life to be like the movies or anything so that’s why I’m curious as to whether or not this is a real thing or just one of those weird ideas the movies sometimes perpetrates. Thank you.
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2018 - City, State
papillon20: personally I definitely feel more relaxed after being with Fiance. I don’t get frustrated or unable to concentrate if it’s been a while, but I definitely feel my stress level go down afterwards!
Post # 3
Yes, having sex with my husband does help me feel relaxed in everyday life.
Sometimes my workdays are so hectic that I don’t even have the time to think about it, but if we spend a whole week without sex (luckily this has happened only once so far!) I feel so moody and irritable.
Post # 4
too relaxed. actually any time spent with my Fiance makes me too relaxed. it’s hard to get work done. but yes, sex is a great stress-reliever. so is just kissing or cuddling.
Post # 5
Orgasms make your brain release chemicals that make you feel happy and relaxed, so yes, sex relaxes me.
But I can also orgasm by myself, and that’s relaxing too. I prefer sex, but if my husband is unavailable, I’ll take care of myself.
Since my first time, I think the longest I went without sex was about 4 months. It didn’t make me tight wound or anything, because it’s not that long and I’m not generally a tightly wound person, but I didn’t like it. Generally, we’re wired to want sex, and once you know what you’re missing, it’s frustrating. And it can be a blow to your self esteem, which makes it worse.
I think the trope in movies & TV has a lot to do with characters missing the companionship of a sexual partner and getting frustrated about no one having sex with them, as well as the frustration of missing sex itself (and some characters don’t make themselves orgasm while alone), and it’s easier to frame it by just talking about sex, plus a sexual partner is easier to find than a relationship, and it can be a confidence booster that helps someone become ready for a relationship.
Post # 6
Yeah, it relaxes me – yay endorphins – and I get crabby if it’s been a week or so without. Not really irritable with everyday stuff but irritable in close contact with my SO. It’s like being in a bakery when you’re on a diet!
I don’t think it’s quite as potent as depicted in entertainment but it’s what PP said about having had it and knowing it’s missing.
Post # 7
I definitely feel more relaxed after sex. The feeling doesn’t always carry over into the next day. But it in the moment, and immediatel after, it really helps me unwind.
Post # 8
papillon20: yeah it makes me feel relaxed comforted and closer to my fl
Post # 9
papillon20: YES. Big time.
Post # 10
Loveismagic: thank you for the response.
I have read about endorphins but personally I don’t find that orgasms make me feel more relaxed or happier (and I’m pretty sure I do have them by myself). I’ve also heard they’re supposed to help with mild pain like headaches but if I take care of myself when I have a headache, it usually seems to make the headache worse, not better.
I think you make some really good points about the frustration coming from knowing what you’re missing though. I sometimes find it difficult to understand why sex is so important to people (like when people talk about how they couldn’t possibly go more than a few days/weeks/months without sex) because even though I have desires, I’m sure I could go the rest of my life without having it, if it comes to that, and I don’t usually get too bothered by it. Sometimes I’m a bit sad that I don’t have that sense of intimacy with anyone but generally that desire seems to be born more from a desire for intimacy and closeness than the physical activity itself.
Post # 12
Yes it definitely relaxes me, I can’t sleep without it however tired I am even if my fi is away I need to do something before bed or I won’t get to sleep.
I am one of those can’t imagine not having it for a few days people im not myself without it I can’t understand people who can go without it so I don’t know.
Post # 13
unicornphish: I love your reply
Post # 14
I feel better definitely. Happier usually. I can go weeks in between but once we are living together it will most likely change. It depends on the person. Some will seem happier and less bitchy. I am one of those thatgets bitchy