(Closed) Does SIL dislike her? What do you think?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
3327 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I think you’re too involved in other people’s lives.

Post # 3
Member
10448 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

As long as she is polite to her I don’t think it really matters. I wouldn’t give it too much thought.

Post # 5
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Meh.  It sounds like she may not actively like your sister, but it doesn’t sound like she actively dislikes her either, if that makes sense.  I mean, she does appear to be avoiding spending time with your sister, but it doesn’t sound like she’s talking about her behind her back, for example, or otherwise trying to sabotage your sister’s relationship with her Fiance or Father-In-Law.  Honestly, she is taking the approach that I take when I don’t really like someone but don’t want to appear rude:  I’m just consistently, conveniently unavailable to get together when asked.  It’s nicer than being honest about my feelings, but it’s not actively mean.  I think your sister should just shrug it off and go about doing whatever she wants to do, while maintaining a polite but distant relationship with her SIL.

Post # 6
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

She definitely doesn’t like your sister IMO.

Post # 7
Member
1147 posts
Bumble bee

Just leave her be. I don’t know whether it is dislike or not, but clearly S has no interest in being friends with your sister. It might just be indifference or she thinks that they don’t have anything in common. I would leave it at that.

Post # 8
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

If I wasn’t especially close with someone I wouldn’t want to go to their bachelorette, even more so if that person was an in-law. I don’t know, I just think it might be an awkward event to be a part of. Same deal if someone I wasn’t close with invited me out for lunch with their sister whom I didn’t really know. Some people are just introverted and that type of intimate meeting is more like a worst nightmare.

It doesn’t sound like she dislikes her. Maybe she just doesn’t forsee their relationship becoming anything beyond what it already is. If they don’t live anywhere near each other, why try to force a happy-lovey-dovey friendship when they will only see each other on holidays?

Post # 9
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

The clothing thing seems a bit weird (showing up in the short dress), bt she might have wanted to piss Mother-In-Law off as well? I don’t know, seems like she is just not that interested in a relationship with your sister. Honestly, at 25 I would have also thought that I had nothing in common with a 34 year old. I don’t think she is actively trying to be rude though…

Post # 10
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
pammylammy :  She’s Just Not That Into (your sister). 

Post # 13
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
pammylammy :  Out of curiosity…why are your sister and her Fiance partially paying for S’s and BIL’s wedding? This could potentially have something to do with her behavior depending on the reason?

Post # 14
Member
1515 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
amb1030 :  Might be cultural.  Often, men in East Asian cultures are expected to shoulder much of the expenses associated with a new marriage, and this goes beyond wedding costs.  The groom’s family sometimes even purchase housing/car for the new couple.  The bride likewise has to worry about dowry.  It often becomes an expense that the whole family has to chip in to make happen. 

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