(Closed) Does the age of the guy influence how quickly he proposes?

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@Cupcakelove–Your guy/relationship sounds so much like mine. We dated for 3.5 years when he finally proposed. By that point we’d lived together for 3 years and owned a house for 1 year. We talked about marriage but my now-husband is a pretty serious and cautious person. In his family, divorce runs rampant so although he knew I was the one, he wasn’t rushing to go buy a ring.  It took a work trip away from me for 5 weeks for him to finally “put a ring on it.”  It sounds as though your guy has the right intentions so I would just be patient with him. Best of luck!

Post # 19
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee

I agree that it depends on the guy and may not be the only factor if he is ready or not to marry.  I know my SO and I talked about marriage early in our relationship  we both decided to wait four to five years of dating to get married.  This is both our first serious relationship.  I also know that he told me he doesn’t want to be an old dad i.e 35, his going to be 29 this year.  He knows I’m not having any kids until I married.  I know it’s just a matter of time we’ve been dating for three years this month.  It played a part in my realtionship but it wasn’t the only factor either.

Post # 20
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think age does have a factor in him proposing.  Men like to know they are able and ready to be good providers even though the rules are not like that in reality as much today.  It’s a guy thing as my Fiance would say.  My Fiance is in his early 40’s and the rule about the older the guy and the length of the engagement is true imho.

I have a bff who should for all practical purposes be engaged by now.  Her bf is a handsome guy, successful, and in his early 50’s (she is in her late 30’s).  They’ve been together five years and still not engaged.  She confided in me and said she seriously doubts he will want that because he has said over and over he loves their relationship as it is now.

We were engaged at 2 years.  Imho, when a guy is more established and a tad older, esp like the age of my Fiance, he has lived, learned a bit, and of course been burned a bit too.  He knew what he wanted and what type of person he wanted and that was that.  Guys know what they want.  Girls know what they want.  And imho a person will let you know they are the marrying type or not within the first 2 years seriously.  If after a decent length of time and no subject of it at all, it might be time for a talk.  Sadly my friend refuses to have that talk and has decided this is as good as it will get for her.   Oh well.  She’s got stubborn me to be as her friend and I won’t let her go through life settling. 

Post # 21
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think age does have a factor in him proposing.  Men like to know they are able and ready to be good providers even though the rules are not like that in reality as much today.  It’s a guy thing as my Fiance would say.  My Fiance is in his early 40’s and the rule about the older the guy and the length of the engagement is true imho.

I have a bff who should for all practical purposes be engaged by now.  Her bf is a handsome guy, successful, and in his early 50’s (she is in her late 30’s).  They’ve been together five years and still not engaged.  She confided in me and said she seriously doubts he will want that because he has said over and over he loves their relationship as it is now.

We were engaged at 2 years.  Imho, when a guy is more established and a tad older, esp like the age of my Fiance, he has lived, learned a bit, and of course been burned a bit too.  He knew what he wanted and what type of person he wanted and that was that.  Guys know what they want.  Girls know what they want.  And imho a person will let you know they are the marrying type or not within the first 2 years seriously.  If after a decent length of time and no subject of it at all, it might be time for a talk.  Sadly my friend refuses to have that talk and has decided this is as good as it will get for her.   Oh well.  She’s got stubborn me to be as her friend and I won’t let her go through life settling. 

Post # 22
Member
2206 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think age is one factor, but it really goes to life readiness, emotionally and financially. In my experience with friends, men are more likely to propose when their lives are in “order.” Statistics also show that men usually only marry when they are financially and socially settled down.

But I’ve seen it happen MANY times. I have two male friends who have recently proposed with less than a year of dating. If I got them drunk and honest, I don’t think either would say that they just fell head over heels and had to get married. I would expect them to say they just felt ready at the same time that they found the right woman.

Culturally, I think women do not feel the same pressure to support a family and be financially stable and sow wild oats, etc., before marriage. Men do. So while women tend to think love = marriage, men tend to think more along the lines of love + ready + stable = marriage. Not always. I’m in the love + ready + stable camp myself, but generally I think this is more true for men than women.

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