(Closed) Does the Bride have a say in the Groom & Groomsmen’s Tuxes?

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am gently suggesting that I would prefer black suits or simple black tuxes, and hope to go along for the shopping; but ultimately I want my Fiance to choose what he is comfortable in.  For the pocket square/tie I have already gotten color swatches from a great place online, and have talked to him about wanting his to match me, and the other boys in black.  He is fine with that, and since he has no idea what my dress looks like is going to let me order the pocket squares and ties.  The styling of the actually suit/tux though I think that he deserves to choose.  After all he is the one wearing it, and it is his big day also.

Post # 4
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think you could go with and watch and give your opinions.. but it is his wedding too.. he didnt come with and tell you what dress you could or couldnt wear.. and he is going to have to be the one who is in it and have to feel comfortable, so he should get to make the choice.

Post # 5
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

Tell him you trust him. All you want is for everything to flow together nicely. Hand him a swatch of the bm dress. The people there should be able to guide him in a direction that coordinates with your color.

Do they have a website, you can look through styles together before you go, take into consideration what he likes and ask him to do the same and then send him on his way.

Or you could follow him and hide somewhere inthe store, but it sounds like that may upset him.

Post # 6
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I kind of think they do. I think the bride has the overall vision of the wedding so it makes sense that they also think about the groom and Groomsmen attire. Of course you want it to fit into your colours. I plan on going shopping with my Fiance. When it comes down to the specifics like cut of suit and that stuff he can choose but I do want him in a grey suit.

Post # 7
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Well. The thing is he did have a say in what the BMs wore because we chose a color scheme we BOTH felt comfortable with. He’s wanting to do the vests a little, erm, differently than I would, but at the end of the day I realize I probably won’t care.

However….your Fiance should probably be concerned with his guys’ vests coordinating with your girls’ dresses. I thought that was only logical… As far as style of the tux, I’d say leave that up to them. They can all go and agree on one style they like just like you and your girls probably agreed on a color or material or style without his input. My overall feel is that you’re both right AND wrong. Lol. You can suggest or show pictures (my man, for one, is very visual) of the grey/silver colors with your purple or whatnot.

Post # 8
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Did he have a say in your dress? I’m guessing no, in which case you chose your outfit, now he chooses his. I’d hope you can trust him to pick something that looks good, after all, he is a grown man and has been dressing himself for a long time!

Post # 9
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think I would discuss colour schemes with him and give him a couple of colour samples, but leave the tux style to him.

We didn’t run into this issue as we have a tailor in the family who is gifting FI’s suit to us, and the guys are providing their own black pants and shirts.

Post # 10
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I went with my Fiance to pick them out. He wasn’t super thrilled about it, but when we got there and they started asking a ton of questions about minute details he seemed glad I was there :). We picked the color of the vests/ties out together, and then I would suggest some options when it came to the actual tuxes, but he made those decisions on his own. 

It’s really not quite the same as brides picking out their dresses because by the time the tuxes are picked out you’ve already established colors, a theme and a level of formality that the tuxes have to correspond with.

Post # 11
Member
2465 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

my hubby and i picked out our groomsmen’s ties together, and decided on the fact that they’d all wear whatever black suit they wanted together. and i helped him pick out his suit. he definitely wanted my input on those….but he also gave input on our overall color scheme and okay’d the bridesmaid dresses and color. and while he didn’t want to see my dress specifically, i did know what he did and didn’t like in general about wedding gowns (like, he was very anti-ballgown, which is fine because that silhouette didn’t work for me anyway). he was super involved in all the major decisions in general.

Post # 12
Member
1910 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I agree with @courtney1188 that unless he helped to pick out your dress, then you really don’t have a say in what he wears. If you think it about it, its the part of the wedding that impacts just HIM and his bridal party, and really the only thing that he has complete control over. I’d be pretty pissed if I were him and the bride tried to take that away from me. I think you can gently suggest vest colors, or offer to go with him, but if he is intent on doing it on his own, i think its only fair to give it to him. In ten years, you won’t care what the pictures look like and how perfectly the bridesmaid dress matched the groomsmen vest.

Post # 13
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

OK.

I have had this EXACT fight with my Fi. I feel your pain. (he wanted all the guys in black tuxes with bright orange vests qand ties… um no.)

We have ended up compromising and I got to have alot of say in the groomsman but had to just finally concede and let him choos what he is going to wear… I got to do that and it is only fair that he has the same freedom, I am not thrilled and I pray that he thinks about what I have said, but really it is his day too… (however unfortunate that might be lol) 

Post # 14
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I had to give my input because he told me he wanted a tux with tails. I have nothing against tails, but…absolutely not. They would look like a group of Mr. Peanuts.

Post # 15
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I went with him to pick out his tux.  I shop with him for ALL his clothes though, so it never really occurred to us that I woudn’t.

Post # 16
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes, you should definitely have a say, but you have to pick something you both agree on! I doubt you are wanting him to get something he hates so I don’t know why he wouldn’t want your input or have an objection to you going with him to pick the tuxes out! Maybe you could give him some guidelines on style of tux and color scheme and he can pick out something that would be appropriate?

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