(Closed) Does the Bride/Groom Pay for Wedding Party Hotel Rooms?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Neither me or Fiance (total 10 weddings in the bridal party between us) have ever had our hotel room paid for. It would be amazing, but again as the bees have said- totally unnecessary.

Post # 18
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

we didn’t!

actually our best man paid for my hubby’s hotel room the night before the wedding!

Post # 19
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I had a very similar situation to eupenmalmody. I only had an Maid/Matron of Honor and 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man and I paid for their hotel rooms mostly because I knew it would be a real stretch for them financially, to the point where they probably would have had to say no to the trip. So, no, you definitely are not expected to, but if there’s someone who really can’t afford it but who really wants to be there (and you can afford it), then it is a nice gesture.

Post # 20
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 2006

I used to work in the bridal industry and I have always heard that it is proper wedding etiquette to pay for the wedding party’s hotel accommodations. It is not your responsibility to pay for their travel expenses or wedding attire but the hotel rooms, in my opinion, yes it is your responsibility. When I got married everyone in our wedding party was in college so we knew they were all strapped for cash. So we paid for their attire, shoes, jewelry, and hotel accommodations for 2 nights. I did not pay for the hair and make-up for the bridesmaids but I gave them the option of getting it done. I did not care if they paid to have that done professionally.

If you chose not to pay for anything, be considerate and keep the cost minimal. This weekend my husband is in a wedding and the the groom picked out the most expensive tux in the tuxedo shop, a hotel room at a luxury hotel and wants to go out to eat at an expensive restaurant for lunch on Friday and breakfast on Saturday. They are not paying for any of this. Including our travel expenses and paying for a babysitter for our two children, it is going to cost us a fortune. I dont think he would have agreed to be in the wedding if he knew it was going to be so expensive. We decided to stay at a different hotel than the others and probably skip out on the expensive meals. I just hope they dont take it the wrong way and think we are being rude.

Until I saw this thread, I have never heard of the bride and groom or bride’s parents not paying for the wedding party’s hotel accommodations so I did some research and this is the best answer I came across (it is from Bridal Guide):

Do I need to pay for an out-of-town bridesmaid’s travel expenses?

Q: One of my bridesmaids lives in another state. Am I responsible for paying for her transportation to and from my wedding? —Akron, Ohio

A: You are not responsible for your attendants” travel expenses. However, you are responsible for their accommodations and should make arrangements for your out-of-state attendants to stay with you, another member of the wedding party or any friends and relatives who graciously offer a room in their homes. Its probably a good idea to discuss travel costs with your bridesmaid now so that there is no misunderstanding about finances later on. And if the travel costs will be too much of a burden for her, you may want to help contribute to the expense as a gift for being in your wedding.

 

Hope this helps! Good Luck!

Post # 21
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Bridal party pays for their own rooms. However, because we gave our hotel so much business (as in 35 rooms already booked within days of making the block and the wedding isn’t until October lol) the hotel comped two suites for us – one for me and the BMS and one for my Fiance and GMs.  I would try to get some free stuff out of it if I were you!

Post # 22
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@shaydenise: I want your hotel! Seriously, I ended up cancelling all my reservations at a hotel because they refused to give a discount even though me and mine were dropping some serious amounts of cash there, in off season.

But to answer the OP, I personally don’t think you’re obligated to pay for the wedding party’s rooms.  I do think if you can afford it, gifting the room as a thank you for participating (if you’re not buying clothes, hair/make-up etc) is a nice gesture but not expected or needed.

Fiance and I are actually paying for all of our out of town guests to stay for the weekend of our wedding.  It’s kind of a little gift to me to be able to hang out with some great people for a whole weekend and a thank you to them for making the effort to travel for my wedding.  Nobody was expecting this and are very grateful for the gift. 😉

Post # 23
Member
8247 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have never heard of the bride and groom paying for the hotel rooms of the wedding party (and my lodging has never been paid for when I was a bridesmaid).  I definitely do not think it is necessary but if you’ve got extra money sitting around you’d like to spend, I’m sure your wedding party would appreciate your generousity!

Post # 24
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’ve never seen the couple (or parents) pay for the wedding party members hotel rooms. I have read of it in ettiquette books, but I think it was probably left over from days when out of town guests would be hosted by family member who lived in town or, if need be, at a local inn. Good for you for getting a low rate for your guests, you’ve done all that you can be expected to do!

Post # 25
Member
6610 posts
Bee Keeper

They’re not going to expect you to pay for that. You’ve already gotten your guests a discount! 🙂

Post # 26
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

it is unneccessary and certainly is not expected for you to pay for the hotel rooms.  that being said, if you can afford it it might be a nice touch (same rule of thumb as paying for bridesmiads dresses!)

we’re paying for our party, BUT we only have 1 person on each side, our destination wedding requires them both to be off work for 2 days, and we’re doing this will a small token of our affection instead of a big thank-you gift…

Post # 27
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ve gleaned from other board posts about this that it’s a regional difference.  Personally, I had never even HEARD of the bride paying for bridal party hotel rooms (but, I also had never heard of the bride paying for bridesmaids’ dresses, either).  So I’d say, definitely not, and they won’t be expecting it.

That being said, if you come from a region where it’s done, or where it’s expected, even, and you can afford it, it certainly would be a nice touch.  But again, I had never even heard of such a thing, so in my eyes, you’re 100% off the hook!

Post # 28
Member
337 posts
Helper bee

I have never heard of such a thing

Post # 29
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We are paying for 2 nights at our room block for the bridal party. We are having a destination wedding so we thought it was only fair to pay for dresses/suits, hair & makeup, and hotel. We didn’t do this because of etiquette just because we didn’t want to put our nearest and dearest of a lot of money.

Post # 30
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

We are paying for one large suite for our groomsmen (we had another large suite that came free with rental of this 24-room boutique hotel), one for our wedding coordinator and one for the wedding officiant and his wife. That’s it. Everyone else is on their own. We are only asking people to stay one night and most of the people are local but the wedding is a good 2-3 drive for some, and the location is at the other end of a tunnel that goes through a mountatin that closes after 10 pm at night, so, we knew our guests would opt to stay over night. We just can’t afford the $2500+ to pay for everyone’s rooms.

Post # 31
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

We always expect to pay for the rooms ourselves and I’ve been to hundreds of weddings.  It’s not something I think the bride and groom should have to pay for. 

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