(Closed) does the ‘bridezilla’ stigma stop you from feeling like you can be opinionated?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I totally feel like that. I’m definitely an opinionated person but have found myself holding back because I don’t want to be a bridezilla.

Post # 4
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

That would only count as a bridezilla moment if you flipped out and started screaming at them for that, I don’t think just being dissatisfied with their service itself is being a bridezilla.

I think it’s sort of like PMSing. If it’s close to “that time of the month” some people treat you like your crazy and hormonal if you act even the slightest bit dissatisfied with something.

Post # 5
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

That completely ridiculous. If they knew you were coming in for a tasting and they knew what flavors you were interested in, they absolutely should have made you a damn cake to try. Did you end up doing your tasting? 

As for the original question, sometimes the stigma does stop me from saying whats on my mind only because EVERYONE (and I mean every member of my family and all of my friends) have made references to me being a Bridezilla. At first I laughed it off but now its just getting annoying. I feel like if I disagree with something or suggest an alternative they’re going to think I’m being a bridezilla. When I first announced our engagement on FB, I got a slew of congratulations but I also a handful of “Bridezilla” comments. WTF?!?

Post # 7
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m a professional in my work life, and the wedding industry is a business. I treat it as such. I don’t feel badly for demanding to get what I pay for, but I make sure that happens in a calm, rational, and polite way. So no, I don’t feel like a bridezilla because I don’t act like a bridezilla. And if someone tried to make me think that I was a bridezilla for requiring I get professional services, I’d fire them. 

Post # 9
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

No. I know what I want and don’t have time to waste with someone trying to convince me otherwise. I hate the term bridezilla-it’s someone using a cutsie word to call me a bitch. As much as wedding cost, I think I have every right to get what I want.

Post # 10
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I hate the term bridezilla – And I DO think that it causes some of us to question how we handle certain situations. But I don’t feel like that’s necessarily a bad thing. I’m trying to kind of use it positively, as a way to make SURE I’m dealing well with people. 🙂 I do feel like it’s stupid though. My Future Father-In-Law said, upon hearing about the engagement, “Oh no, you’re not going to be a bridezilla are you??” Um. I’m going to be myself, so we’ll see? Lol

About your situation – that’s ridiculous. They should have scheduled you to come in on a day that they HAD your flavour. Why would you want to try others if you had chosen another? That’s a bit stupid. But stupid things happen.

Post # 11
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think the stigma has made a lot of brides, myself included, feel like it’s difficult to just clearly express what we want and our dissatisfaction when things don’t match our expectations.  Bridezilla is supposed to refer to a bride who reacts irrationally to things that don’t meet expectations.  I definitely don’t think expecting good service, quality products/services and professionalism makes anyone a bridezilla, nor does voicing your concerns, opinions or dissatisfaction.

Post # 12
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

There is a vast difference between acting like a bridezilla and standing up for yourself and the service you should be getting as a paying customer.  As other ladies have said, I’d not go into a temper tantrum over it, but I would be expressing my disappointment and dissatisfaction with the lack of customer service.  As with ANY customer service business, they need feedback to understand where they are dropping the ball or what they are doing right.  If they can’t take any kind of constructive criticism then they shouldn’t be in the business they are in.

Post # 13
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

OMG!  This has completely been the case with me, but more with my family than with vendors.

I’m normally independent, but I turned into this awful people pleasing person, I’ve termed “codependa-bride,” for a while.  Thankfully, I came to the realization that it’s better to be called a bridezilla than to be a doormat and started standing up for myself.

Post # 14
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Absolutely.  I’m scared to even ask my family for help for fear of them rolling their eyes and calling me a bridezilla.  I’d like to make whoever made that word popular come and do all my escort cards for me  🙁

I tend to not worry so much about vendors because 1.  I know I’m actually VERY reasonable and 2.  I’m paying them an insane amount of money.

Post # 15
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Oh I totally feel you.  I am so hyper paranoid about being labeled a bridezilla I’m afraid to actually call any vendors out for being unprofessional.  I was complaining to my Fiance the other day about the restaurant we’re going to have our rehearsal dinner at because the owner never gets back to me and when he does, consistently misspells my name (even though my name is on Every. Single. Email I send him) and argues with me over inconsequential things.  FI totally pulled the bridezilla card (he really wants the dinner there and hates confrontation) to get me to just suck it up and deal with this fool’s shenanigans without complaint. 

It worked. 🙁

Post # 16
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am not worried about being labelled a Bridezilla at all. I am not all that demanding, and the things I feel passionate about concerning my wedding, I provide detailed descriptions as well as pictures for reference so there is no room for misunderstandings. The things I feel REALLY passionate about, I am trying to do myself so I can’t get mad at anybody else if those things don’t turn out right =) I think I had more “bridezilla” moments planning my sister’s wedding than my own. 

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