Post # 1
Ever since my now-fiancé and I started talking about marriage, I’ve had my heart set on a winter wedding, specifically a holiday wedding (Dec/Jan). We got engaged in early March and, though I began to look into venues right away, I wasn’t able to get to see any until last weekend. We saw a venue with all of our parents and we were all very impressed. It was lovely and it suited all of our needs. The only problem is that they are all booked up in December ‘18 and Jan ‘19.
Future Mother-In-Law is pressuring us to book the venue for February. It’s one of only two venues we saw, and I’m not sure I’m ready to commit to either that venue or February. She thinks it’s outrageous for us to wait until December ‘19. On the other hand, my mom is offering no guidance whatsoever. My fiancé is super conflict-averse so he’s just been saying “do whatever you want!”
I guess in the scheme of things, February isn’t all that different from December or January, and I did like the venue but I’m just not sure I want to commit to it before seeing other options. We are planning the wedding in the city where our parents all live, but we live in another city a few hours away, so that complicates the matter.
On the other hand, I’m a little worried about the venue because, though it was beautiful in real life, the pictures in their marketing materials were very underwhelming and I’m worried it will look cheesy in our pictures. I don’t particularly want to wait until December 2019 to marry, but I’m not thrilled about February either. But I’m also worried about waiting too long and missing what might be our best shot. Though it’s not exactly the venue of my dreams (I wanted a historic private estate), it might be the closest I am able to get given that my fiancé has decided that he has 50+ people (all friends, his family is on a separate list) that he MUST invite, even though we had previously decided with our moms on a 100 person guest list.
So now I don’t know what to do. No one from the other venues on my list has gotten back to me about a viewing, and I need at least a few days notice to plan to get down there for a viewing. Should I just book this one while I still can? Will I regret taking a date I don’t really want?
Post # 2
This is your wedding, not your parents, nor your fiance’s parents. Choose the date that you want, and the venue that you love. I would look into other venues and see if they have availability for Dec. 18 or Jan. 19. If you can’t find anuthing, then reevaluate what you want to do at that point. Don’t let anyone pressure you into making decisions if you’re not 100% sure of it.
Post # 3
Date wasn’t very important to me. I did have a general seasonal preference (both based on weather preferences and when we’d have the most flexibility with taking time off), but within that I was very open. We took the first date that was available at the venue we liked in the season we preferred. Of course, some people feel strongly, but for me other things were much more important. That said, I wouldn’t rush into booking if you aren’t sold on the venue.
Post # 4
while i also love the idea of a winter wedding, we decided it was more practical to pick a date that was not too close to Christmas, either of our birthdays, and was also not going to be a difficult time of year for friends/family to travel.
Post # 5
beekay : I kinda didn’t understand your info. You said you liked a venue but it’s booked up 12/18 and 1/19. On the same venue that you like, do they have anything available 2/19? You can still have a winter theme wedding in February.
For me, we did pay attention with the date. My birthday and my SO’s birthday are already on or around major long weekends each year so we wanted something completely apart from our birthdays.
Post # 6
Oh God don’t get me started on the debacle that was our wedding date discussion. My future in-laws were just impossible (can’t be during the school year because how dare we assume that taking one day off of school is acceptable…can’t be during the holidays because how dare we assume that people would be willing to use their vacation time for our wedding, yada yada yada). And my fiance is super conflict-averse as well so he was admittedly no help.
We ended up being obsequious and picking a June date, so our engagement will be 20 months long. But I don’t really regret it! Time is flying pretty fast.
While I’m all for the “it’s your wedding do what YOU want” it can be hard to go against family. So I totally understand where you’re coming from.
If I were you, I would slow down just a little. If you rush things, you might do something you regret (like pick a shifty venue – yikes). If a winter wedding means THAT much to you, I would push it to December 2019, as long as your fiance is okay with it and no one except your Future Mother-In-Law has a problem with it. Your Future Mother-In-Law will come around, trust me. She’s probably just excited, naturally. And if she’s the only reason you’re feeling stressed, that’s hardly fair to you and your fiance.
So if I were you, I would just relax and take that extra time to plan, save up money, actually pick my dream venue, and all that good stuff 🙂
Post # 7
I recommend you search the venues you’re considering on Instagram under ‘Places’. You’ll be able to scroll back and compare how each looked at real events in different times of the year.
If you’re in the US, I can’t recommend using the NOAA enough! If you search for your local station through this link, you’ll be able to see historical weather reports for every hour of every day going back decades! It was really useful for me to pick a date that was least likely to be cold or rainy. https://www.ncdc.noaa.gov/cdo-web/datatools/lcd
Post # 8
I would suggest looking at the other venues. After you do that sit down and choose which one you want. If there is no availability until 2019 and if you are ok with that then wait until 2019.. it is your wedding!
Post # 9
I had a winter wedding because my husband did not want to wait a year to get married. We got engaged in May and married in December because he really liked one particular restaurant to have our reception at and their first date available was in December.
We couldn’t do any pictures outside because the weather was so bad so you couldn’t really tell what season we were married. I kind of wished we had waited until spring or summer to be honest.
I would hold out for the venue you want. Also realize that most of your pictures are not going to look like Pinterest unless you’re spending nearly 6 figures on your wedding. While some venues are nicer than others, it’s only one day.
Post # 10
beekay : I would have liked an April wedding but ended up getting married in February for a variety of reasons including it being available, cheaper and it not being the busy time at my husband’s work. We had a winter/spring wedding. So it was still cold where we got married and we had wintery capes. However, the spring flowers were coming into season and so I had a fantastic spring bouquet that was really cheap.
I actually really loved our February wedding and I found a lot of meaning for the date we chose. When you look for things you can find more reason to make a date special. For example, we were able to get married on the same day of the month that we had our first date, 2 weeks after my birthday, 3 weeks before his, on my grandparents anniversary AND when we had been together for 70 months which all made my numbers-nerd husband very happy and myself happy for sentimental reasons. Without all that though, that day would have been special regardless.
There’s only you who can say how important a date is. If the date is more important than getting married sooner, then delay until the following year. If you just want to be married and don’t want to wait, take the February date. There’s no right or wrong, just what works for you two.
Post # 11
I think you should find the venue you love first, and then worry about the date. It doesn’t sound like you’re sold on this venue, so keep looking! When you find the perfect venue, you can see what dates they have available and make a decision from there.
Post # 12
Since there doesn’t seem to be any reason to rush, I would wait and see, as long as you don’t mind waiting until winter 2019. Find a venue that you love, and if they don’t have any Dec/Jan dates available for 2018, that just means more time to plan the perfect wedding!
Post # 13
beekay : Sure it’s your wedding and do what you want, but be flexible.
I would have preferred a fall wedding, but Fiance and I didn’t want a long engagement, nor did we want to plan an early spring wedding, so we settled on mid July (next week OMG). Our logic was – he’s a teacher so would be out, I could accrue vacation time, it would be the week after the 4th of July so maybe not crossing with other people’s vacations too much. I never specifically “wanted” a wedding in the middle of the summer but I’m so happy with the date we ended up choosing. Friday July 13th.
My best advice is don’t obsess. Weather can be tricky in winter, even if you live somewhere warm, if you have family flying in flights can be delayed canceled etc so remember that.
Post # 14
What about November of 18? I wanted a December wedding with a sort of Christmas-y feel, but the hall was all booked up in Dec. I took the last Saturday in November and am still going with the same theme.
Post # 15
I would keep looking. Try WeddingWire ask around. For me I wanted at least a year and for the weather to be cool I was aiming for this fall but it ended up being April 2019. If you really want a winter wedding keep looking or consider the following year.