Post # 1
I am the Maid of Honour planning my sisters wedding. I have two brides maids who i messaged to see what their ideas were for the hens night, They came up with pricey suggestions and although I was the only one coming from overseas I decided okay I will just have to stretch my budget to make up my share of the costs.Now I have never attended a hens night so I was told the costs for the hens night was split equally between the bridal party and people invited pay a little something for the activities. Now they were pushing for a expensive cruise so I thought ok I will get some quotes and give them the amount we each had to come up with. I split it up three ways and told them how much it would be and that we would charge $50 per guest which would only cover half of the venue and I told them i would pay the other half of the venue as well as my share of the cruise roughly $800 each.
And then they turned around and said I didnt know we were splitting it three ways and whether my family was going to contribute because her circumstances had changed and it was too much. I understand the part where here situation changed but the part where she said she wasnt aware that we split it three ways thats what got to me especially since I have been pushing for a more affordable night but they suggested something like this. Bare in mind these two live in the country the ceremony is taking place I still need to pay for airfares and take time off work to go back a week before the wedding just to be there for the hens night.
So heres my question DOES THE MAID OF HONOUR PAY FOR EVERYTHING?? and the bridal party just put in what they can?? what is the standard bachelorette party code because Im losing my mind with the fact that i went through so much trouble to gather quotes for something fancy or something of their expectation just to find they didnt think they needed to split costs equally.
Post # 3
It depends where you are from. In my area all the guests split the cost evenly (except the bride).
Post # 4
@stressedMOH: Absolutely not! Costs are split between all girls attending (whether or not they’re in the bridal party), except the bride. Sometimes the Maid/Matron of Honor or bridal party might pick up a little extra. But the Maid/Matron of Honor certainly doesn’t pay for the whole thing!
Post # 5
Where I’m from, the cost was split evenly. My maid of honor did pay for the decorations and a cake for the group, but the hotel was split evenly.
Post # 6
@stressedMOH: ugh. That’s obnoxious. I’ve always done it that the bachlorette party costs are equally split among ALL attendees and everyone is responsible for her own travel.
so no, you don’t have to pay for everything. If they expect you to pay for it all, then you can plan something more in line with your budget. Sorry you have to deal with that.
Post # 7
Whomever is hosting pays. If I am invited to an event, I don’t assume I’m paying unless I have been a part of the decision making process. Hosting a bachelorette party is completely voluntary, including for a Maid/Matron of Honor or bridal party.
Post # 8
No, and don’t feel pressured to host some elaborate bachelorette either. If someone wants an elaborate party, let them pay for it.
Post # 9
@stressedMOH: It should be split between all attendees apart from the bride. At least that’s how it works where I’m from..
Post # 10
@stressedMOH: In Canada, certainly not. It’s normal here for each guest to pay their own way and usually the bridesmaids will equally split the cost of the bride’s share and the extras.
Post # 11
No way! Costs are split evenly between attendees (except the bride).
Post # 12
@stressedMOH: Absolutely not, everyone attending splits the cost. Whatever you do, don’t let them pressure you into spending more than your fair share/whatever you’re comfortable with. Scale back the plans if necessary.
Post # 13
I am not from the UK, but we always have each girl pay for themselves and the BMs pick up the brides expenses and some general group costs like decorations, a cake, pre party booze and such.
I would message the BMs back and ask what their budget was for the Hen party. Take those numbers, add in what you are willing to spend and that’s your max budget. If they say they aren’t able to contribute, then the party must be less elaborate.
Post # 14
At the bachelorette parties I’ve attended, the costs have been split among everyone attending. At one, the Maid of Honor hosted a casual dinner at her home before we all went out. But after the dinner, we all paid our own way. You shouldn’t have to pay for the entire party! That’s completely unreasonable!
Post # 15
@stressedMOH: Where I am from, all of the guests (minus the bride) split the costs.
Post # 16
The bachelorette party I went to we all payed for ourself and split the bride evenly between all of us!