(Closed) does the officiant have to be a pastor? or can it be a friend?

posted 6 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This really comes down to your particular faith/church.  Before you consider any further I would go in and talk with you pastor and ask if a non minister can marry you in the church/will it be recognized by the church.  

For us personally we feel strongly that we should be married by a pastor.  Its why we are having a church wedding and not a civil ceremony.  We don’t consider a marriage “just” a civil union- we consider it to be a very religious sacrement.  So for us, it wouldn’t make sense for anyone but a pastor to marry us.  That being said this is a super personal choice and comes down to what is going to feel right to you and your Fiance.

A happy medium might be to have your pastor be the officiant at the wedding, but ask your friend to give a blessing during the ceremony.  The pastor could say something like “Ms.______ has been a part of you and Fiance spiritual life, and growth as Christians.  She would like to offer these words the couple as they join their lives together in Christ.” Then she could offer a personalized blessing for the two of you.

 

Post # 4
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@mmmkf:  I had a hard choice between two life-long friends for best man.  So… one was licenced to marry (cost about $30) and the other the best man.

Unfortunatley the one that was to marry us was called away due to military related business.

Post # 5
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@mmmkf:  Oh, as to the “propriety” of it.  I am not a religious person… for the reason you are second guessing yourself.  Some moron gave you the idea that you (or her) are doing something improper according to some random religious belief they hold. That’s a bunch of crap.

I could realy get up on a soap box here… but the bottom line is do YOU really think the God you believe and have faith in would have a problem with your plan?

Post # 6
Member
11357 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

My Darling Husband is a senior pastor, and I asked him his thoughts regarding your questions.  He said there are several issues involved.  Biblically, there is no specific requirement that you must be married by a pastor for God to recognize your marriage.  However, certain faith traditions (i.e. denominations) may not look as favorably on your not being married by a pastor, whereas this may not be an issue for other faith traditions. First and foremost, however, is the issue of legality, since whoever performs your ceremony must have legal standing in your state to perform the marriage.

Post # 7
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I went to a wedding last summer in Florida. Their good friend married them! Got his officiant license online BUT it was on a beach. Not sure how it works in a church.

Post # 8
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We were married by a friend.  But he was an ordained pastor. 🙂  We did feel strongly about that, and also felt that becoming ordained online was…strange.

It really depends on what you two believe.  I don’t think the Christian faith in general requires a pastor to officiate, but different denominations may (ok, will) have other rules.

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