Post # 1
Hi, lurker here. I’m a bridesmaid in my friend’s upcoming wedding. Originally when I agreed to be a bridesmaid I agreed to not having a plus one at the wedding (bride would not allow another bridesmaid’s longterm boyfriend to attend either) and to my knowledge none of the wedding party get a plus one. However, my entire family decided not to attend so not only do I not know anyone but the bride at the wedding, there are a few empty spots. Would it be rude to ask if bringing my boyfriend is a possibility?
Post # 2
You can’t bring an uninvited guest. You could talk to the bride (your friend) about your concerns but since you technically told her you were okay with not bringing a date, she could say no. I’d hope she’d understand your position and let you bring your boyfriend, but weddings make some people unreasonable.
FWIW, I think it’s very inappropriate to not give +1s to your bridal party to begin with.
Post # 3
I think bridal parties should have plus ones, BUT your friend has made it clear that she’s not allowing it for hers. It would be rude to bring your boyfriend along at this point. Even though you friend was rude first by now allowing you a plus on, it’s not your place to determine who can be invited since your family is not coming.
Post # 4
I don’t understand not giving +1s. In general, but particularly to someone in the wedding party. We gave all of our adult guests +1s, even those not in a relationship who may choose to bring a date. I get that there are budgets to consider, but I’d rather cut back in other areas rather than deny someone else an invite for their partner.
You could talk to the bride and ask- but one question though: will you be sitting at a head table? If so, wouldn’t this leave your boyfriend sitting on his own with strangers?
Post # 5
It would be generous of her to invite your boyfriend but very rude of you to ask, unless you are living together or engaged and they are unaware. A long term, mature social unit should be invited together, but there can be some gray areas.
Post # 6
throwawaycanada : I understand your concern, but even if they allowed your boyfriend to attend he would likely be hanging out by himself the majority of the time. I’ve been in 3 weddings, and between pictures, helping the bride get ready, etc I didn’t have a ton of free time. You’ll also likely be seated with the bridal party for dinner and your boyfriend would not be able to sit with you. Honestly, I would just drop it since you already agreed to no plus one and make an effort to get to know the other guests, you’ll be spending a decent amount of time with the bridal party- it shouldn’t be that awkward.
Post # 7
IMO, everyone gets a plus one. At least they did for our wedding…
Post # 8
Thanks everyone, I won’t ask her, since I did agree to it in the first place.
Post # 9
I personally think if you are dating someone for 6 months you get a plus one. But I would talk to the bride. She may still say no because she can’t really say yes to your bf and no to the other girls. But it’s worth a shot.