(Closed) Does this count as my RSVP?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would say that to be safe.  I’d rather have the concrete confirmation.

Post # 5
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

that sounds like an rsvp. is there any additional info on the card you need, like meal choice or something?

Post # 7
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Nola:let it go. you got the rsvp. i guess i just don’t understand why the card is important.

Post # 8
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i would count it as a rsvp but i would also send the short message you mentioned now while it’s fresh instead of later.  you worded it very well.  i liked using the rsvp cards to help with table arrangements so when i called for rsvps that were not received, i asked if they could also mail the cards back.  (not to mention it’s annoying to spend that much on postage for the rsvps and not have them used.)

 

Post # 9
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

If you need further information (like meal choice) I’d say follow up.  If not, just leave it and count it as confirmed.

Post # 10
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Yep.  Counts as your RSVP.  You could still ask for the card but that counts. 

Post # 11
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would send them a FB message like “I am SO glad the two of you are going to be here.  Can I ask you to send back the Rsvp so I can have the replies for my wedding scrap book, I would really appriciate it.  Love you and can’t wait to see you.”

Should get you the card back.

Post # 12
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

“R.s.v.p.” means “Respondez s’il vous plait” (“reply please”); and your aunt has replied. You’re going to look bureaucratic and controlling if you try to insist on them following your organization routine.

If you are using the cards to set up a card-file, then get some index cards and cut them to the same shape as your R.s.v.p. cards, and use them to make a note of the people who R.s.v.p. in the traditional way (by a note on their own stationery) or by one of  the new-fangled ways (facebook, email, text). Don’t try to make your guests follow your assumed procedures: they are guests, not employees.

I didn’t know there were still hostesses using cardfiles to organize their guestlists. They were popular in the seventies and eighties, but spreadsheets and databases are so much more versatile I thought the cardfile had gone the way of the dodo — I use postgres SQL. Goes to show it isn’t always us “older people” aren’t always the ones who are less computer-savvy.

Post # 13
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yes, that’s a reply! Has you RSVP date come up yet? Your aunt might still send you the card in the post but if it’s important to you to get it back then send her a friendly message like people here suggested.

Post # 14
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Nola: I guess that makes me a difficult bride too because I’d want the card back. LOL!

@tksjewelry: I love this response!

I’d try to give a gentle reminder to have them send back the RSVP card but I wouldn’t pursue it too much if it doesn’t happen.

Post # 15
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Yes, that is a reply.  She is tacky for not sending the card back but I wouldn’t bother bringing this to her attention. 

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