(Closed) Does this make me a bad person?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think you should go to Greece and get back a day before. I kind of think a wedding is more important than a honeymoon, if you know what I mean. Maybe you can arrange it so that your anniversary falls within the honeymoon but towards the end, like on the last day, or the day before, so you can be back in time to help with the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

By the way, I think it’s terrible that she planned her wedding to be so close to your anniversary.

Post # 4
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If I were you I would go to Greece when YOU want to. You said you’ll be back in time for her wedding so it’s not like you’ll be missing it. Plus she didn’t ask you to be in her wedding so I can’t believe she would expect you to help with any of the planning/crafting. But even if she did you would still have time to do some things for her before you went to Greece. If you really want to do what you want and stop bending over backwards to make others happy, this would be a great place to start.

Post # 5
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I personally think that if you are sure that you wont be upset later about missing it think about what you and your husband had planned and move forward.  If she is not having you in her wedding she “shouldn’t” need you their that much in advance. 

Post # 6
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Personally, and this is me, I would go to Greece, and stick to the orginal plan. Seriously life is too short, to do the things everyone else wants you to do. Some people will probably say that it’s mean, but not me. It’s your life.

Post # 8
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you should go on your trip when you want and just plan to be back a couple days before her wedding (in case of flight / travel problems – wouldn’t want to miss it over something like that so give yourself a little buffer).  You aren’t in the wedding so there isn’t anything you’ll have to be there for.  Yes – I’m sure your sister would have appreciated your help but maybe she shouldn’t have planned her wedding right by yours!

Post # 9
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I mean seriously the only thing you would miss out on helping her with is last minute stuff. If she has DIY projects, you’d still have time to help her before your trip to Greece. I still say do what YOU want, I agree with SoonToBeMrs.Kiss-life is too short to worry about everyone elses feelings all the time. You won’t be missing her big day.

Post # 10
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with FutureKMM.  Plan the honeymoon but give yourself a little room just in case.

Post # 11
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

This is a toughie!  I feel as if I sometimes compromise my happiness for others, too.  I don’t have an answer as to what you should do, but I do have something for you to think about:  consider the wonderful memories you have of your sister being there for you the days leading up to your wedding day….think about creating NEW wedding related memories with your sister during the days leading up to her wedding.  I know it sounds as if you would be putting someone else first again, but if you really think about it, you’re not.  Instead, you are creating memories with her that you BOTH can cherish and pull out of your memory bank from time to time….those are moments you can’t ever get back.  You can always go to Greece with your hubby and create the same kind of memories as you would on your 1 year anniversary.  It’s not about where you are on your anniversary, it’s about who you are with that matters.  **sigh** I don’t know!  Like I said, this is a toughie!

Post # 12
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Is she getting married closer to home?  If so, that could be explain why people are more eager to help whereas with yours everything was more nebulous and less exciting.

I say take the trip when you want.  You’re not in the wedding party, so you’re not obligated to be there super early to help out.  If you’ll still be at her wedding and have the energy to celebrate, there’s nothing wrong with taking your trip first.

Post # 13
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would go on the trip for sure. You are going to be there for the actual wedding day and that is what matters. IF you were in the wedding party I could see there being a bit of an issue, but its not like she is going to see all of the other guests until the day of the wedding. Go have a fun honeymoon- the honeymoon that you want!!!

Post # 14
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

After reading what previous posters have said, I agree with them, too!  I think you should go to Greece, but allow yourself enough time to safely make it back in time for her wedding…………..I guess the point behind my previous post was for you to really think about what you would be missing, too…………try to never react out of anger or hurt.  I’m sorry I’m not very helpful!

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