Post # 1
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
So, I’m getting married 3 weeks from tomorrow (YAY!!) and my sister just got engaged Easter weekend. Orginially they planned on getting married in August then about 2 weeks ago she called me and asked me what I thought about them getting married the Wednesday or Thursday before my wedding. I told her I didn’t care, because I don’t care I love my sister dearly and I’m SO happy for her because she has been through alot and deserves happiness. BUT now my parents are saying “well you should make your reception for both of you” and it makes me really uncomfortable and I don’t really like the idea of it, I’ve been planning my wedding for almost a year…my sister just sprung this on me a few weeks ago and I’m stuck. Most of our family is coming for my wedding, so I can see where my parents are coming from. But I just feel like this is “my” day (i know, selfish) and don’t reallly want to share it with anyone (again, selfish). I feel so badly that I’m even feeling like this because she’s my sister. She even mentioned doing a cook out the day they decide to get married and I told her that I don’t know if I could do it because 1. I’m startin a new job the same week of the wedding 2. I will be so overwhelmed with getting wedding stuff done. What do I do? Go with it or really just tell them I don’t want to do it. (it’s mainly my mom and I paying for the wedding, with my dad helping a little bit).
Post # 3
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
It IS your day! Of all things, you should NOT have to share your reception. AT ALL. It’s one thing if they want to do a bbq or something (but hey you DO have a job and a wedding going on, it happens–you and your new husband can always do a nice dinner with your sister and her new husband) but really, you deserve your own reception.
Post # 4
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
I don’t think you are being selfish at all! It is completely understandable to want your wedding day to be yours and your FIs day!
I think if you discuss it with your sister she would understand. But I do think that if your sister does have her reception during the week you have to make sure you make time for her wedding too!
Post # 5
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
thanks for making me feel like I’m not a horrible person for wanting that…my dad is the one who is pushing it now..first it was my mom and I simply told her that wasn’t fair and I didn’t want to do that, then today my dad starting pushing it (and he’s also the same person who suggest my step-mom wear her IVORY WEDDING GOWN they got married in, I thought I was goin to lose my mind when he said that! he got a simple “hell no!”)
Post # 6
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
I wouldn’t share it. You’ve planned this day for you and your future husband. It won’t be their day even if you tried to share it. I think it’s unfair of your family to ask this of you, to be honest.
Post # 7
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
Oooh you’ve got to get this one sorted right away. If you let it go on without saying anything definite, it’ll get legs of its own and run all the way out of your control. Make your feelings known right now, (in a caring way, obv) and offer whatever help you can, but tbh it’s your sister’s lookout to make her wedding run ok at such short time.
Post # 8
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
Well, they’re just going to get married at the courthouse (which I think she should just wait and let me help her plan her own wedding, because she definitely deserves everything I’m getting) but she seems to be in such a rush about it. I would make time for a cook-out if that’s what they want to do, but if I’m working late because of my new job or have to get projects done, I can’t promise my attention will be on her getting married..
Post # 9
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
You are definitely, definitely not selfish. The fact that your so gracious about the idea that’s she’s getting married right before you even though you’ve been planning so much longer is wonderful. You shouldn’t have to share your reception!!
Post # 10
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
And tell your dad dresses are just none of his business lol!! They can tootle off and renew their vows if he wants to see that dress out again!!
Post # 11
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
Good girl, just stay calm and you’ll get there!
Post # 12
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
I will knock her out if I see her in a white dress, because I already don’t get along with her..so that will just set me over the edge. My dad didn’t mean anything by it, you know..men don’t get all of that stuff..so he didn’t understand why i was so offended by him saying he wanted her to wear it…(okay, so I won’t really knock her out – but I definitely wouldn’t be happy!)
Post # 13
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
No, you are not being selfish. You should let them know how you feel asap. What does you sister have to say about this?
Post # 14
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
A wedding day is definitely not something you should have to share. I don’t think selfish applies to this situation. A wedding and the celebration surrounding it is so personal to the couple, I think you have every right for the day to be about you and your man only, even as much as you love your sis.
Post # 15
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
Well, my sister won’t really tell me what she really wants because she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, but she’s never been one to say “okay this is what I want” I’m definitely the most outspoken of my siblings. As much as I don’t want to share my day, i don’t think she’d want to share hers either. Idk, I’ve asked her..but that was when she was planning it for August (when my mom talked about the “double” ceremony) and she understood where I was coming from (I hope). So, I’ll talk to her about it on Monday (her Fiance is in town visiting her and she lives in Va) I don’t want to talk to her about it while he’s there because I don’t want him to hate me LOL
Post # 16
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
HELL NO. Absolutely not. No way. This CANNOT happen. If I were you, I’d be really upset at the suggestion, and if I were your sister I’d be mortified. Honestly, I don’t get why your sister HAS to get married the week of your wedding, but that’s up to her. But she definitely does NOT need to share your reception. It would basically ruin it for you and it would not be any good for her either. This is possibly the craziest suggestion from a family I’ve ever heard, and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. But you need to firmly tell everyone that you’re not okay with this, and don’t budge. It would be awful for everyone!
