Post # 1
I feel like I’m OK with the fact that I don’t have a ring yet…
My boyfriend and I have talked about a time table and plans, and basically it comes down to me being fine with whatever amount of time it takes him. I’m adamant that I don’t want him to propose if he’s not ready. He’s said that he would like to do it within the next few months, so maybe that’s why I’m ok with waiting? I’m thinking it would be different if he had just alluded to ‘sometime in the future’ or something like that. I’m also wondering if I’ll be a little more antsy for a ring after about 3 or 4 more months…
So, am I the only Waiting Bee that is OK with not having a ring yet? Was there anyone out there who thought they were OK with it and then changed their tune after waiting for awhile?
Post # 3
You guys are at that awesome point in the relationship where you know you are going to be together forever, but you aren’t in any rush to announce it to the world.
That doesn’t make you weird. That makes you a very lucky girl in a very happy relationship! Congrats! 🙂
Post # 4
I fluctuated. I went back and forth between feeling ok with it and not being ok with it. It was hard, because I was ok as long as other people weren’t bringing it up… and as soon as they did, I’d start feeling bad.
I say, stay confident and be glad you’re ok with it! It will come 🙂
Post # 5
I’m in the same boat as @LaborOfLove, it’s definitely fluctuated. Before Christmas, I was a-okay.. The past couple of weeks, not so much.
And I second her comment, stay confident! Enjoy the waiting period 🙂
As for planning, we’ve (*I’ve) done a ton of it because we’re planning to do it mid-October, so I knew I had to get the ball rolling or I’d stress myself out!
You have quite a while left, so I wouldn’t start planning until you feel the need or get the ring.
P.S. I second the congrats for being at such an incredible point in the relationship! Just let it ride…..
Post # 6
I think it depends heavily on what happens after his promised time frame comes and goes… either you have a ring on your finger (hopefully!), or like has happened to many of us ….. nothing….. (cue cricket noise) and that’s when the antsy-ness kicks in. If it’s the former for you, consider yourself one of the lucky ones! That’s always the ideal situation.
By the time I became seriously anxious and upset about waiting, there had been more than one “missed deadline” (that he was the one to suggest! not me!) and he couldn’t really offer an explanation.
Post # 7
I think that is awesome that you are ok with it. I KNOW that SO and I will be together for ever but I think im impatient because we are LDR and that wont change unless a ring comes. You’re def. an inspiration to be so calm and collected.
Post # 8
I too was like LaborOfLove. For so long everyone was constantly asking me if 2008 was the year and it really felt like it was but as the year was ending I just relaxed a bit because I knew that when he was more than ready he would do it. Sure enough once I started to relax, it actually happened and boy was I surprised. I seriously didn’t see it coming. Although it happened on my birthday that year I still had no expectation of an engagement which made it so much more special.
Post # 9
you’re not weird. in fact, i’m okay with not having a ring either. though some of our friends and family…not so much. lol. but we both know that we’ll be getting married just as soon as our circumstances clear up. we’re an ldr and he’s attempting to move out here once he finds a job. we’re both hoping an engagement will happen sooner than later, though we’re looking at sometime next year.
so enjoy the waiting period! i am. sure i get a little antsy every once in a while but in the end, i’m doing ok. good luck!
Post # 10
I was okay… accepted it for a year or so, but I can’t deal anymore. I need that solid offical-ness now. GL!
Post # 11
Good post… I was comfortable with waiting for almost two years after we went ring shopping.. Now that I am completely done with school, and my career is going full speed ahead, and we have the house, cars and dog… It just seems like the timing is finally right. I would have loved to have been done waiting by now, but I’m sort of thankful that it didn’t happen while I was in school, or in the first few months of my new job. But NOW I’m soooooooo ready! He set a deadline of 10-1-10 and we decided on a wedding date of 10-1-11, so I guess I see the light at the end of the waiting tunnel.
Post # 12
Nope, I’m the same way as you. I know it’s coming, I know he wants to marry me, and while I would LOVE to be planning a wedding right now … I’m fine without the ring.
Post # 13
I also am like LaborofLove…I fluctuate back and forth…the last two months I have been totally fine…but now it is starting to get to me…it may be because my birthday is coming around and im still not engaged yet…and the fact that 3 other couples that are our close friends just got engaged… that doesnt help. My parents are also moving out of the country next summer…so I wanted to have the wedding next April before they move…but that really doesnt look like that is gonna happen anymore….
Post # 14
I have to agree with the other girls here! My SO and I have even set a date, we’re *so* sure about our relationship. We aren’t technically engaged and people other than our immediate family and wedding party (so they could schedule!) don’t know. So I still get asked ALL the time, and I have my ups and downs. Somtimes I just want to say “YES, okay?! We are getting married, back off!” but I don’t feel like it’s “time”. Just be comfortable in your relationship 🙂 I am a total sap and totally cliche but a line from the Sex and the City movie has always stuck in my mind: “We were perfectly happy until we decided to live happily ever after”. They had too much pressure on everything, just go with the flow 🙂
Post # 15
Like LaborofLove, and several other ladies here, I’ve been back and forth throughout our relationship. In the beginning, I was chomping at the bit because I just felt that “this was it, so why wait?” Then, I settled in more and decided that I wasn’t where I wanted to be with who I was. Then, he decided he wasn’t where he wanted to be with who he was. So, we happily went along and I was fine without the ring. Then, the more people brought it up, it did start to get me down. I think outside influences are more what made me wish I had the ring – the physical commitment that the world can see. As for now, like a lot of others here, I’m just waiting and hoping that it will happen sooner rather than later. Your relationship sounds great and grounded, so I know it will happen for you!!! 🙂
Post # 16
yeah, like many have already said – it fluctuates.
i definately don’t want him to propose if he’s not ready, but some days i’m like, “how much longer until you’re ready?!”
most of the time i’m just okay with knowing that there will be a wedding eventually, and especially now that we’ve talked about a date it’s like, “whatever. take your time, cause i can plan regardless of what you do.”