Post # 1
He sent me an interest online and initial 2-3 weeks seemed like was too much interested in me. We live in the same state and he made plans to come meet me in August first week. He would talk about different topics and talk about our future. During weekdays he would call me somedays for 15-20 mins while driving home from work and would end the call once he reaches home. Since he said he likes me and I was also thinking positively about him, I told him I want to talk more, so why doesn’t he conitnue talking after going home or if we can talk after his dinner or something. He said he is not comfortable talking when his roommates are around (He definitely is not married and lives with 2 guys). I also asked why is it that he just calls me while driving somewhere for 15-20 mins.
As our meeting dates were coming closer and since he wasn’t really booking the tickets I asked him about the meet and he said he still plans to come meet. 4th week he disappeared completely and called me over the weekend for 10-15 mins. He said he was busy at work and was returning home pretty late, so he didn’t call. I told him he can atleast call me sometimes in between or it’s fine for me if he wants to call me late at night so we can catch up, but he still didn’t. This went for another 3 weeks, he would called me once or twice a week for 2-3 mins just to tell me how busy he is and how late he is reaching home. He would always end the call saying he will call me back in a bit, but I would get the call next week. About meeting he now said he will come sometime during the month of August.
One day he told me he has less work next day, so he will call me in the evening and we can talk more then. I waited for the entire evening, he called me late at night while he was waiting for his order in a restaurant and as per his habit, I knew he will ask me to end the call after 5 mins once his food arrives. I sarcastically asked him why he didn’t call me in the evening and he blasted at me saying he is not interested in talking to me since instead of asking him how was his day, I asked him why didn’t he call. He then says I don’t care for him and I reminded all the times I did care for him which made him more angry and he said he is not interested in me at all and doesn’t want to see me. Immediately reverted it back saying he will call me later, but doesn’t want to talk now.
After this he never sent any texts. Called me once as if nothing had happened, talked for 5 mins and then same record of he will call me back in a bit which he did after 4 days. This time I thought of clearing out what was going on. He said he still likes me, but is very busy with work so doesn’t have time to talk to me. I asked him if he still plans to meet in August and he said he is not going anywhere and not talking to any other woman, so will meet some day. I asked him to give me a date, and he said there is no need for a date, he will meet when he feels like. He said he is busy and hence wants to take things slow. I was trying to ask him why isn’t he spending time with me and he didn’t seem interested to talk about those things and wanted to end the call. I still kept going and he again repeated that I don’t care for him. I said I do and I wait for the entire week thinking he will talk more over the weekend, but he doesn’t take out time for me over the weekend as well. I told him I want to talk more than 5-10mins in the entire week and he blasted again saying I pressurize him and always keep him at the edge of the knife. Then same record of him calling back in a bit and he never called back after that.
I always see him being active on social media, he talks about spending time with his friends and family over weekends. He is online on whatsapp for hours, but not a single text.
Was asking for more than 5-10mins/week demanding or pressurizing?
Post # 3
This is too much drama so early on. I bet he has a live in girlfriend or is married.
Dump and move on!!
Post # 4
I think he sounds like a jerk, but I also think you sound a bit needy. You are also allowed to call him if you want to talk, you don’t have to wait for him! But anyways, I’d say this does not sound like it will end well, and I would just put it to bed now; you shouldn’t have to work that hard, that early on!
Post # 5
You haven’t even met this guy. He only talks to you when he’s driving. Stop acting like you’re actually in a relationship with him and move on.
Post # 6
sollyb : I agree he called me more than I did. But even when I called him, he wouldn’t answer my calls or will text me saying he will call me later. Then he would call when he goes to pick up his ordered food which will be for 10-15mins and then done. What I am trying to say here, even if we are discussing on a certain topic and while I am still speaking, if he reaches home he will talk about dropping the call, won’t wait to let me end.
Post # 7
Sorry to be harsh, but this is not a relationship. This man is wasting your time. Move on immediately.
Post # 8
He told you what he feels and your going to question it to a room full of internet strangers?
Yeah, I agree it sounds like your pressuring him WAY to hard and are acting like your in a relationship with this man when you clearly not. Maybe it just since I’m a female but this level of attachment this early on is concerning and would give me all sorta red flags too.
Post # 9
I’m not gonna say you’re needy or anything because I don’t know you personally and this is one post on the internet; BUT I will say that it sounds like you’re giving 100% to this potential relationship and this guy is giving 10%. I wouldn’t focus all of your efforts on someone who doesn’t want to focus a lot of effort on you, you’re wasting your time. Besides, you’re not officially dating despite him saying there are no other women at this time. I would branch off and consider your dating pool, potentially consider not pursuing him anymore.
Post # 10
Oy. You are acting so DESPERATE; that’s not a good look on anyone. You dont know anything about this man. It’s likely he’s feeding you some bullshit story and you’re taking it hook, line and sinker. Stop acting like this guy is the last man on earth. He’s not interested in you. At all. Move on.
Post # 11
he is in a relationship of somesort
Post # 12
I’ll say this bluntly….he’s grooming his sidepiece. That would be you. Guys who are serious don’t act evasive and don’t fuck around like this guy is.
Stop wasting your time and find someone who can give you their actual time.
Post # 13
optimisticstar : what on earth are you getting/enjoying from this? It sounds ridiculous- block his number and find someone decent and less shady.
Post # 14
Why are you investing so much of your time and energy on someone you dont even know? No matter how many times you’ve talked online or on the phone, no matter what you’ve talked about or how sweetly he spoke about his intentions, you do not know him.
You could literally sit down next to him on a park bench and not even know it. He could make you a cup of coffee at Starbucks and you wouldn’t know it. He could check your blood pressure at the doctors office and you wouldn’t know it!
You are not in a relationship with this man, and based on what you have shared here you’re not going to be. You shouldn’t have to work so hard to start a relationship. Block this guy on all fronts and find someone who wants to have a REAL relationship with you.
Post # 15
I’ll say the same exact thing I said to you on your last thread of this kind. Unfortunately, you’re still in fantasy land. You do not know this person at all, nor do you have a real relationship. All of this drama before even your first date is just insane. And yes, he’s most likely involved with someone else or seeing others.