(Closed) Does this seem, um, “sleezy” to anyone else?

posted 10 years ago in Military
Post # 32
Member
1396 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@judithsr: I completely understand the problem you see with it. I think it’s terrible that spouses have to go through so much just so they can live together, and it’s awful that anyone has to ‘prove’ your relationship to the government. So in a way, I definitely agree with you. I dislike when government entities encroach on personal lives and very, very personal decisions like marriage. It’s establishing rules to make one marriage more valid than another, based on pretty subjective criteria. I feel the same way about gay marriage. Not that that’s the issue here, just that I feel like the government is deciding whose marriage is worth more, or ‘counts’.

Marriage, traditionally, was not about love most of the time. It was usually pre-arranged by a man and a woman’s father. There was money (dowry) and the bride was lucky if she even knew who she was marrying. It seems presumptuous now to say that only marriages of love are valid when really, the practice of marrying for convenience, comfort, or mutual benefit is as old as marriage itself. Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt were definitely not in love, and I doubt Bill and Hilary Clinton are much more than friends, you know? Those are certainly marriages of mutual benefit. It’s a pretty traditional function of marriage. I’m not saying it’s a good or bad thing, just that it’s historically pretty common.

Post # 33
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I totally agree with artichokey.  And the people telling the OP to report them need to seriously get a grip.  You do know that these people can end up in federal prison for this, right?  So calm down with the whole “I’m indignant!  Report them immediately!!” posts, unless you’re aware of the ramifications.  In the grand scheme of things, it’s not worth getting upset about, unless you’re going to be equally upset with gold diggers, people who marry complete strangers in Vegas, people who marry and divorce within weeks, people who marry for business reasons, ect ect.  I don’t think the government has any business in determining who has a “valid” marriage and who doesn’t.  If it’s legal for two people to marry, two people can marry.  Period.  

Post # 34
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
@lezlers: how exactly is it MY problem if they go to federal prison for riding the system? 

Post # 35
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t see the problem. Marriage use to be a business contract.  People get married all the time for other reasons besides love. Some people get married to get insurance, green cards, co signers for cars or loans, ect. Some people don’t believe in the whole idea that marriage=love and church stuff. ^_^

Post # 36
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

View original reply
@missfireslayer:  I’m just saying that if these people are friends of the OPs friends, it might be poor form to rat them out to the authorities and risk them going to federal prison because she’s having a bad day.  It’s not like they killed (or even maimed) someone.  A little perspective can go a long way.

 

Post # 37
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
@Miss Tattoo: I realize that people get married for reasons other than love and that is fine. But if I knew someone was defrauding the government and taking advantage of the military in the way these people are, I sure as hell would report it. 

Post # 39
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

View original reply
@missfireslayer:  I don’t see the distinction.  If you’ve got no problem with people marrying for reasons other than love, you shouldn’t have a problem here. Assuming they’re receiving the same benefits from the military they’d receive had they married for love, the only difference would be the reason behind the marriage (which is none of the government’s damn business in my opinion.)  So if you don’t have a problem with people marrying for reasons other than love, I’m not sure what’s making your trigger finger so itchy. 

Post # 40
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
@lezlers: Guess they would have a lot of time in federal prison to think about what they should do the next time they consider conning the Military. Those benefits are there to help real families, and I think it would be a shame for them to take those away from the people who need them because other people continue to take advantage of it. Agree to disagree, I’ll keep my poor form.

Post # 41
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@missfireslayer: Who is to say that this is there main reason? It could be a perk just like people say “Oh when we get married we’ll get a bigger tax return/insurance/increase our credit/ect. People are always going to find a way around the system and there isn’t anything people can do. Sure, report them, but if they are already friends, it’s not going to be difficult for them to act like a couple.

Post # 42
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
@lezlers: because I have family members who have given many years of their life and other’s who continue to serve this country and it really irritates me when people ride the system to get UNDESERVING benefits from the Military. THAT’s where my problem lies.

Post # 43
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
@Miss Tattoo: like the OP said, they have never met. Yea sounds like a perk….

Post # 44
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@missfireslayer: Well you just have a biased opinion. Marriage doesn’t always need to be about love. I see it as a business transaction in this situation. Maybe the military should change their benefits and only offer it to couples with kids. *shrugs* It happens everyday and it won’t stop. People are always motivated by money. I use to work with a girl when I was a waitress and this guy paid her $30,000 to get married so he could get his green card. SHe did and they stayed together for 2 years and lived in the same place, but lived seperate lives.

Post # 45
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

View original reply
@missfireslayer:  How are they undeserving of those benefits, though?  Again, my whole point is they’re not getting any benefits they wouldn’t otherwise be getting if they’d married for love.  If you truly don’t have an issue with people marrying for reasons other than love, this wouldn’t bother you so much.  My FI’s father is career military, I’m not sure what how many people you know in the military has to do with anything. If they’re both getting military benefits because they’re both already military, why are they undeserving? 

If I’m wrong about these benefits, scratch what I’ve said.  I’m not quite sure how that all works. 

The topic ‘Does this seem, um, “sleezy” to anyone else?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors