- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
So some of you probably read my post about my nutty family a week or so ago…and now I have one about his! Hooray, right? haha 🙂
I’m going to give you the ‘cast of characters’ first, because this gets really confusing and all that jazz. (Also–using initials)
B–FH mom; Pa–B’s boyfriend for 17 yrs and they moved in together after FH went to college, my FH considers him to be his dad (his real dad had some issues and they never had much contact, he passed away about 10 years ago); D–Pa’s son; BJ–D’s wife; WR (12) & Elizabeth (2)–D & BJ’s children
Ok here goes. We asked D & BJ to be in the wedding and Eli to be the flower girl. Eli is FH goddaughter and we thought it appropriate. FH wanted to include them so they didn’t feel left out–and I was ok with it, its a blended family and we are aware of easily hurt feelings. So BJ keeps asking me how much B is contributing to our wedding (none of her business!!!) and how we are affording it and what we are doing (kind of super nosy questions but still) and mentions how D should buy her a bigger ring like I have and talks about all the attention we are getting because of the wedding…so on and so forth. Weird right? Well.
D works full time at his own business but BJ *refuses* to work. Absolutely refuses. So Eli is getting bigger and we just thought BJ would start looking for a job soon….nope, she gets KNOCKED UP. Normally this is a great thing right? For a man who is strapped by the family he already has and has a wife who refuses to get a job…no. Not a good thing, FH is furious with D for not getting snipped and furious with BJ because he swears she did it on purpose. Our wedding date is June 2….her due date? Mid June. *YEAH* Future Mother-In-Law, B, swears she did it on purpose and actually told her in response to BJ saying ‘we’re having a baby!’—“well you better not have it during the wedding and ruin it for everyone”….that didn’t go over so hot, but I was SUPER proud! So FH gets the ‘red ass’ as my dad would say, the more he thinks of it he says they cannot be in the wedding, he can’t do that to his bro. The dresses plus the tux plus the new baby and the 2 kids they already have, plus they’re having to get a new room ready for this baby….FH just couldn’t shake it. So he calls his bro and D is not excited about the new baby but said they’ll work through it and FH tells him they are excused from the wedding party because he understands what a cost drain it is….D was happy (who can blame him?! What a stress lifted from his shoulders!) but assured FH that they can’t wait to come ‘party’ lol. We love D, he is a good guy all around.
But now BJ refuses to speak about the wedding PERIOD. At her after holidays gathering (a weird thing but we had to go), I had a pic of my Future Sister-In-Law (my bro’s fiancee) in the bridesmaid dress and she wasn’t interested at all. D’s older bro was there with his wife, who is doing my invites and seating cards/escort cards, and BJ wanted nothing to do with any of it. When asked about the baby all she would say is “well we aren’t finding out what it is, or we might and just keep it between the two of us”……..again, weird.
So now I feel completely uncomfortable talking to her about the flower girl dress, period. I told FH to be prepared if BJ won’t allow Eli to be in the wedding at all…it seems like what is honestly going to happen at this point. BJ says to B—I wonder when (my FH) bachelor party will be–if it’s in May I might go into early labor and D won’t be able to go.”
Who says that? Seriously? SMH. My only thing is I should stay out of it and let FH talk to D about the flower girl dress, but doesn’t that seem weird? At B’s Christmas party BJ would not speak to me if I did not speak to her FIRST and it took me 3 glasses of wine to get through it (I’m not a drinker, lol).
I’m just not sure why the hostility towards us because of the wedding, and then why put your family in a monetary situation like that because of jealousy? In some ways I want nothing to do with her (FH *cannot stand* her, she cheated on D about 9 years ago and FH cannot forget it or trust her…even though I have often said it isn’t his problem to forget it and it’s not his relationship, but he has a hard time with cheaters) and in some ways I feel sorry for her but in most ways I just want to distance myself as much as possible.
My question is this, honestly, am I being too sensitive about this? Should I just send a text (her preferred method of communication) about the dress? Or should I let FH take care of it with D, as they are close and don’t have issues? What would you do?