(Closed) Does your FI think your anniversary is important?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If it makes you feel any better, my Fiance and I have never celebrated an anniversary.  We dated on on off for a couple years before things got serious, so it’s kind of hard to pick a day as an anniversary anyway!

I’m sorry you’re feeling badly about this.  I wish your Fiance would just step up and make your anniversary special, since it’s something you want him to do and you’ve obviously told him that many times!

But at the same time, I think you need to lower your expectations a bit.  An anniversary is just a day.  How he celebrates it has no bearing on how much he cares about you.  And after August, you won’t be celebrating this anniversary any more, you’ll be celebrating your wedding anniversary!  So cut him a little slack.  He obviously loves you very much – he tried to make you feel better when he knew he let you down.  Don’t think about him “breaking your heart” by missing an anniversary.  I would thinking that “breaking your heart” would entail him cheating on you or insulting you, not forgetting to give you a card. 

Deep breath…it will be OK!  🙂

Post # 4
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

well roxy, i’m sure he won’t forget next year if you are threatening to break up over it! Eeeeeek. The way my Darling Husband and i do things is that we kind of discuss the holiday ahead of time. “No V-day gifts this year, right?” “Sounds good!” or “Let’s do something romantical for our anniversary”. If you don’t share your expectations, don’t be sad when people don’t meet them. Sorry girl!

Post # 5
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Our first weddimng anniversary is comimng up and i had to explain to Darling Husband why it’s a big deal. Then it turns out he has drill that day and i won’t see him a weekend. I plan on getting him tickets for a game, and no lie, i will be very hurt if he doesn’t actually do something special. but i also know i have to tell him it’s a big deal. Otherwise he’s kinda lax about that stuff. I mentioned to him doing something romantic for the day and he said, “why?”…*face palm*.

Post # 6
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

He cared enough to make it right after he forgot – that should tell you something. We all get busy and preoccupied, and we all forget things sometimes (I forgot my FH’s birthday once…oops).

I’d cut him some slack. Don’t worry about it, but like prev posts stated, talk about it before hand. Maybe give him a little nudge a few weeks before – say something like “so…you’re not going to forget this year, right?”

It’s better to remind him than be utterly distraught if he forgets.

Post # 7
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Mine does! I still even get “happy 25th mothaversary” texts on every 30th of the month :). Our anniversary is special to both of us, even after we get married i think we will celebrate Dec 30th as the official anniversary and not August 7th which is when we are getting married.

Post # 8
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

No and Yes,

He loves me enough to do things whenever he wants to surprise me.  I don’t think I have ever gotten an Anniversary card.  I’m not sure about a gift, sometimes he’ll take me out to dinner.  He likes to take a vacation on our anniversary.  As I posted earlier post today, he doesn’t usually buy me anything on Valentine’s Day either, but he just  gets me something when he wants to surprise me.  He much rather buy me gifts when he sees something he knows I will like, rather than being tied to a particular date.  He doesn’t like the commercialism of Valentine’s Day etc. And he’s more likely to buy me a beautiful plant to place in the yard than to buy me cut roses that will die in a week.  About two years ago, he decided he hadn’t gotten me anything for a while on a holiday so he sent me 2 dozen roses at work, and a Pyjamagram at home, all on the same day!!!  He’s a keeper!!!  I just never know – but that’s part of the fun, and I know he’s not doing something “just because he’s supposed to”!!

Post # 9
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

We acknowlege every month together. We go to dinner and exchange gifts each year for our dating anniversary.

Post # 11
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Why is the anniversary so important to you?

Post # 13
Member
722 posts
Busy bee

My Fiance remembers our anniversary every year and makes plans. Every year I have to ask him what day it is -I never remember. Birthdays and Christmas  are a huge deal for me but our dating anniversary and Valentines Day don’t matter as much to me. I have never thought  a “dating anniversary” to be as significant as a wedding anniversary, so when we get married I will do more.

 

Post # 14
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My husband isn’t big on gifts either.  He is so bad at planning things in advance.  Our first anniversary is coming up and my birthday and we shall see what happens there.

Post # 15
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I want to acknowledge the day a little bit. nothing crazy. your 25th and 50th anniversaries are biggies =]. i don’t want to equate (nor should we) lack of thought/effort into “i don’t care about you” cuz guys don’t work like that! But it’s hard not to be hurt when it 100% slips their mind. My idea of something special just means getting me a card or saying something really sweet to me. Make me a special dinner one night, that kind of stuff.

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