Post # 1
My Fiance is a great guy and he always looks out for me and shows me love and support. I get flowers for no reason and spoiled when it comes to my birthday and Christmas but for some reason anniversaries just aren’t that important to him.
The first two years we celebrated our anniversary with little gifts and went out to dinner. For our third anniversary he literally forgot. He was so mad at himself and I was upset but I know he just started his own company and was way too busy to remember anything. So last year I mentioned our anniversary over and over and told him even a card was fine but I wanted to be remembered. We planned a vacation at that time so we said we would skip gifts that year since we were leaving the next day but I flat out said I would at least like a card. Well he came by my place during the day and I wished him happy anniversary and gave him a card and he blankly stared at me. I was so upset I was literally calling off the engagement. I couldn’t believe he would do something so deliberately to hurt me. So I cried and cried and refused to talk to him so he just asked me to come back to his place. Well it was filled with my favorite flowers. He said he tried to play a joke but it blew up on him, he wanted me to think he didn’t care and surprise me but he realized how much of a jerk he was. So the next day we left for vacation and had an absolutely amazing time.
Well when we returned I saw the receipt for the flowers… he bought them right after I lost it and wanted to end the relationship. I cried about this for weeks, I couldn’t believe he had lied to me as well. And had been so upset and I realized the other day that I am still upset over this. I looked at the calendar to see what my bachalorette party was and I realized that we are leaving the day after our anniversary and I just had this feeling of being sick to my stomach. I am afraid he is going to break my heart again a month before the wedding and I won’t be able to handle it.
Thanks if you are still reading, when I started I didn’t think it would be so long.
Post # 3
If it makes you feel any better, my Fiance and I have never celebrated an anniversary. We dated on on off for a couple years before things got serious, so it’s kind of hard to pick a day as an anniversary anyway!
I’m sorry you’re feeling badly about this. I wish your Fiance would just step up and make your anniversary special, since it’s something you want him to do and you’ve obviously told him that many times!
But at the same time, I think you need to lower your expectations a bit. An anniversary is just a day. How he celebrates it has no bearing on how much he cares about you. And after August, you won’t be celebrating this anniversary any more, you’ll be celebrating your wedding anniversary! So cut him a little slack. He obviously loves you very much – he tried to make you feel better when he knew he let you down. Don’t think about him “breaking your heart” by missing an anniversary. I would thinking that “breaking your heart” would entail him cheating on you or insulting you, not forgetting to give you a card.
Deep breath…it will be OK! 🙂
Post # 4
well roxy, i’m sure he won’t forget next year if you are threatening to break up over it! Eeeeeek. The way my Darling Husband and i do things is that we kind of discuss the holiday ahead of time. “No V-day gifts this year, right?” “Sounds good!” or “Let’s do something romantical for our anniversary”. If you don’t share your expectations, don’t be sad when people don’t meet them. Sorry girl!
Post # 5
Our first weddimng anniversary is comimng up and i had to explain to Darling Husband why it’s a big deal. Then it turns out he has drill that day and i won’t see him a weekend. I plan on getting him tickets for a game, and no lie, i will be very hurt if he doesn’t actually do something special. but i also know i have to tell him it’s a big deal. Otherwise he’s kinda lax about that stuff. I mentioned to him doing something romantic for the day and he said, “why?”…*face palm*.
Post # 6
He cared enough to make it right after he forgot – that should tell you something. We all get busy and preoccupied, and we all forget things sometimes (I forgot my FH’s birthday once…oops).
I’d cut him some slack. Don’t worry about it, but like prev posts stated, talk about it before hand. Maybe give him a little nudge a few weeks before – say something like “so…you’re not going to forget this year, right?”
It’s better to remind him than be utterly distraught if he forgets.
Post # 7
Mine does! I still even get “happy 25th mothaversary” texts on every 30th of the month :). Our anniversary is special to both of us, even after we get married i think we will celebrate Dec 30th as the official anniversary and not August 7th which is when we are getting married.
Post # 8
No and Yes,
He loves me enough to do things whenever he wants to surprise me. I don’t think I have ever gotten an Anniversary card. I’m not sure about a gift, sometimes he’ll take me out to dinner. He likes to take a vacation on our anniversary. As I posted earlier post today, he doesn’t usually buy me anything on Valentine’s Day either, but he just gets me something when he wants to surprise me. He much rather buy me gifts when he sees something he knows I will like, rather than being tied to a particular date. He doesn’t like the commercialism of Valentine’s Day etc. And he’s more likely to buy me a beautiful plant to place in the yard than to buy me cut roses that will die in a week. About two years ago, he decided he hadn’t gotten me anything for a while on a holiday so he sent me 2 dozen roses at work, and a Pyjamagram at home, all on the same day!!! He’s a keeper!!! I just never know – but that’s part of the fun, and I know he’s not doing something “just because he’s supposed to”!!
Post # 9
We acknowlege every month together. We go to dinner and exchange gifts each year for our dating anniversary.
Post # 10
Good to know it’s not only my guy who needs an explanation over why an anniversary is important.
@lilybay- That’s was his reasoning last year because now that we are engaged our anniversay will be our wedding. All I wanted was a card lol
@melissabegins- He told me he is already planning lol. He works so much and I never see him and we don’t celebrate vday but we had agreed on at least acknowledging our anniversary.
@ejs4y8- Some guys just don’t get it, we even have to explain why it’s important. I think they just see it as another day.
@afbacher- I know he tried to fix it but we talked for a month about our anniversary because I was hurt that he forgot it the year before.
@jennychicago- How sweet!
@rlsulli- We love them and I love that he does things just because but sometimes I just wish they did something because they are supposed to lol
@trugem- That’s great, hopefully I’ll at least get dinner this year 😉
Post # 11
Why is the anniversary so important to you?
Post # 12
@Arachna- I think I was more hurt that I told him how much in meant to me and he still refused to acknowledge it. I was hurt the first year and then I told him that and he still didn’t care. To me it was more that he didn’t care about my feelings than the anniversary. I want us to always even when we are poor to just do something little like just a card to remember each other on important days in our lives. We are very busy and before we started dating I was much more needy but we both have such busy lives and he works every night so I don’t really get to see him and I want to make sure that we both continue to work at the relationship to keep it alive.
Post # 13
My Fiance remembers our anniversary every year and makes plans. Every year I have to ask him what day it is -I never remember. Birthdays and Christmas are a huge deal for me but our dating anniversary and Valentines Day don’t matter as much to me. I have never thought a “dating anniversary” to be as significant as a wedding anniversary, so when we get married I will do more.
Post # 14
My husband isn’t big on gifts either. He is so bad at planning things in advance. Our first anniversary is coming up and my birthday and we shall see what happens there.
Post # 15
I want to acknowledge the day a little bit. nothing crazy. your 25th and 50th anniversaries are biggies =]. i don’t want to equate (nor should we) lack of thought/effort into “i don’t care about you” cuz guys don’t work like that! But it’s hard not to be hurt when it 100% slips their mind. My idea of something special just means getting me a card or saying something really sweet to me. Make me a special dinner one night, that kind of stuff.
Post # 16
@MissAsB- My bday is on a major holiday when everyone goes out so that I know he has to plan in advance but he is out shopping that day for my gift.
@ejs4y8- That’s all I’m asking for. I could see if I asked for diamonds!