(Closed) Does your husband attend your prenatal appointments?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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stillme:  My Fiance has come to all but two of my midwife appointments and both ultrasounds. I’m totally cool when he can’t make it because it’s for legitimate reasons, but I would probably be a little sad if he wasn’t really coming to any of them. 

Post # 17
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m 31 weeks pregnant (our first).  DH has been to all of our appointments but one, and that was because I needed to go in unexpectedly for an ultrasound for some unexplained bleeding.  He had to work, and because of the short notice, wasn’t able to get time off.

My Mother-In-Law actually ended up going to that appointment with me, and was really excited for the sneak peek at her first grandchild, even if LO wasn’t overly cooperative for nice pictures.

Post # 18
Member
6414 posts
Bee Keeper

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stillme:  Yep, when I was pregnant, he went starting at 8 weeks until I popped that child out. He wasn’t there for the confirmation ultrasound at 5 weeks. But our schedules worked out that he could come to every visit (works at night, I work during the day). this was our first, so I really wanted him to be there because I was nervous as all heck during every visit. I imagine if we had a second kid, he wouldn’t want to come with our daughter and be in the doctor’s office with a pregnant wife, and his rambunctious child. I know I wouldn’t. And even though our daughter is a good baby, it’s a lot to pack to bring a young baby somewhere. She’s 10 months old, but she needs some essentials which take up room and you have to remember to pack them etc, maybe his reasoning is wrong, but I would at least ask him why he doesn’t want to go to the appointments.

Post # 19
Member
1047 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

It’s early yet (12 and 1/2 weeks), but I think that DH wants to attend as many as possible. Im keen for him to be at the ultrasounds, but I don’t think he necessarily needs to come to the routine check ups. So far I’ve managed to have my appointments on a Saturday so that he doesn’t have to miss work, but later on that probably won’t be possible. 

Post # 20
Member
6518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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stillme:  i am still very early in my pregnancy but DH plans to be at every appt. Its really cute bc he is really excited about it

Post # 21
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

DH will be at our 9 week ultrasound and then probably not again till the 20 week ultrasound. Just too difficult for him to take off work so often…but his boss is really cool. He told her I was pregnant yesterday when he told her all casually that he’ll need a half day for the appt and she screamed! She was so excited! 

Post # 22
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

We’re both still young (23) and have no idea what we got ourselves into,  so we both feel better going to the appointments. He has only missed my confirmation ultrasound, but only because we were on our way out of town and he had the dogs in the car.

Thankfully he is still in school, so his schedule is pretty flexible, especially compared to mine, so he can be there for it all. I think when we go for child #2, I will want him at the more important appointments, but not every one

Post # 23
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

First time soon-to-be parents here so my husband is just as excited as I am. He has a busy schedule but as long as we know in advance when the next appointment is, he comes with. He has made every appointment with me starting with Wk6 bloodwork & ultrasound, wk10, wk12 and next one at wk15.

Post # 24
Member
9773 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s still early for us, but I assume he’ll just be coming to the important ones (8, 12, 20 week U/S, maybe a few more when I’m farther along). I’m high risk so I’m guessing I’m going to have a ton of appointments. I don’t really expect him to take off of work just for a regular checkup.

Post # 25
Member
3696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

He came to see the first ultrasound and will definitely come to the 20 week ultrasound.  Other than that, I think he’ll come if he can, but I’m not worried about it.  He couldn’t get off work for the NT scan and I was a little hurt since he pushed for it, but it was fine without him.  

Post # 26
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

My husband came to my appt at 10 weeks to hear the heartbeat and the NT scan at 13 weeks and our 20 week anatomy scan but other than that he hasn’t come to any Others. I actually would prefer if he didn’t waste his time driving an hour to watch me get weighed and felt up by the dr. He doesn’t have a job where he has the luxury of time off either, if he’s not at work he doesn’t get paid so I’d rather him work. If I really wanted him there he’d be there in a heartbeat though. 

Post # 27
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I think he feels for informed from this being your second pregnancy. My Fiance doesn’t come but he’s working states away and I actually have a long distance travel to my appt so I stay at  my moms. She watches our son because he isn’t allowed in the ultrasound room it’s a special clinic. My appointments are also 2-2.5 hours. It’s exhausting. But he always asks how the appointments went and for pictures.

 

Post # 28
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

 

stillme:  I totally understand why you feel the way you do. We do all the work of carrying the pregnancy, it’s nice when our partners actively participate in the things they can.

DH has been to every appointement I’ve ever had both for my first pregnancy (DD is almost 2) and for this one (almost 22 weeks). He asks questions and is really invloved and I am so grateful.

I feel for you OP, I can imagine it must feel lonely. Tbh, I find pregnancy itself can be isolating, we are expected to be happy, grateful, joyful & serene ALL THE TIME and are seen as spoiled or un-grateful if we admit we aren’t. So I at least tend to keep those things in. Thank god I have DH to confide in because otherwise I would probably get depressed.  Maybe the “other issues” would be helped if he took more of an interest in such a huge part of YOUR life. All the best!!

Post # 29
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We just talked about this and we have tentatively decided that the first couple of appts. he will not be coming with me and I’m okay with that.  These are the appts. that confirm preganancy thru blood draw(s), examination(s), checking weight – height – blood pressure – etc… but he will be attending the ultrasounds – which I plan to have at least 2 – hopefully 3. I would like to have the 1st Ultrasound at 16 weeks, 2nd ultrasound at 24 weeks, and the 3rd ultrasound at 32 weeks. I haven’t picked out a Dr. yet and he told me that if I feel I need him at any appts. at any time that he will be there. If I am comfortable w/ the Dr. by myself the 1st few times then he won’t need to come. Of course, if I am not comfortable with the Dr. I will keep switching until I am.   

Post # 30
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Mine basically comes when there is an ultrasound.  So far we have had 3 – and have 3 more scheduled.  The next one he is gonna skip but my mom will come with.  I don’t really care if he doesnt come to the regular ones – they aren’t all that exciting.

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