Does your husband ever hit/throw things when he is angry?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

No. Never. I wouldn’t be with him if he did. it sounds like he’s not good at controlling his emotions, and even if he never came close to touching me, it’s not a good character trait, in my opinion. Him not wanting to talk about it and getting defensive kind of screams “denial.”

Post # 4
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You say that able to remain very cool headed in stressful situations 

But to me that only sounds like he stuffs his anger down and doesnt release or deal with it until he releases it physically.

Maybe he should work on an outlet for that stress and anger? Or both of you learn the proper way to have an argument/fight so it doesnt escalate to that point.

And to answer your question I have never seen my Darling Husband raise a hand even to shake it, never mind to hit something.

He likely wont talk to you about it because he knows its not a proper reaction, but cant help it in the moment its either guilt or denial. But he should learn to help it.   

You say he would never hurt you, but how do you know that? People always “know” until they no longer do and it surprises them. His behavior doesnt make me feel confident that one day you may push him too far or maybe you happen to be standing in the way.  I would be nervous.

Post # 5
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Childish and potentially dangerous behavior.  He needs to learn to control his anger better.  This would be a serious red flag for me.

Post # 6
Member
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

No never. And if he even did that once (even if it wasn’t directed at me), I wouldn’t be sticking around. I have no tolerance for aggressive behavior and phyical violence of any kind. 

Post # 7
Member
4511 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@BlondeBee:  +1

My husband never ever does this. Neither do I. I would not tolerate it.

Post # 9
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No my Fiance would never do this. I think you need to take the PP’s advice and speak to a counselor, so you can learn how to fight in a way that will not escalate. If you would be more comfortable speaking to your pastor then do that, just be clear that you want to learn strategies for fighting that won’t involve getting so angry. He could also seek counseling alone, since he clearly has some anger management issues.

Post # 10
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

No. Mu husband doesn’t do this. Nobody i’ve ever known does this. It’s both dangerous and a really, really poor way of dealing with your emotions. I’d be really afraid that one day this aggression would get redirected at me or a child/animal.

Post # 11
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@BeeBB:  I think he needs therapy, not a pastor.

Post # 12
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

No. That would not fly with me. 1. I don’t like that behavior. It is simply not the way that a responsible adult deals with things. Ever.  2. I would not allow someone to model that behavior for my child, thus warping his mind.

Post # 13
Member
8461 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@BeeBB:  I grew up in a house where we threw stuff (we’re the stuff throwingest family), and I throw stuff when I’m mad.  However, I don’t break things, it’s lame like wadded up paper, socks, etc; my mom threw a teacup one time and it smashed through the window and glass landed in our in ground pool.  It was a mess.  I can tell you first hand, when I’m upset, there is no consoling me.  You’re better off just walking away and letting him calm down.  The not wanting to talk about it part seems troublesome though, I think talking to your pastor/marraige counselor about it might be a good idea.

Post # 14
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My “EX” husband used to do this.

“EX” being the key word here.

not ok ever……..

Post # 15
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Telling your pastor will probably only embarass him and make it less likely he will receive help.  Have you talked to him about it when he is in a good mood (i.e. not angry and breaking things)?  Tell him how it makes you feel and ask him why he does it and if there is another way he can vent his anger.  Venting anger is important for good mental health but breaking things, especially furniture and dishes is inappropriate.  It’s what a 2 year old does when they are angry and don’t know any better.

Post # 16
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Not even once. That type of behavior is not an acceptable coping mechanism for frustration.

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