Post # 1
I’m wondering if this is actually a common thing. I’m not talking about really ‘knowing’ who your child is and what their likes and dislikes are….
Does he know what drawer the pants vs pyjamas are kept in?
Does he make any doctor appointments?
Does he pack your child’s bag for trips?
Does he know your child’s size of shoes or if they’ve outgrown something?
Does he change over seasonal clothes?
I have often wondered this but I also do intake for a childcare program, and you wouldn’t believe the number of times I hear, when I ask for a second contact person, Mom’s will say, “Well, you can put my husband, but don’t call him he doesn’t know anything”
So I’m not even talking about dead beat Dad’s here. I’m talking about good Dad’s that love thier kids, but Mom does all the organizing…
Is this a Mom phenomenon?
Post # 2
Sunshine09 : I was a step mom for years and I definitely knew more.
But I really wanted to mention that my co-worker thinks for sure she knows more about her kid than the dad. She talks about it all the time. In fact, he just emailed her and spelled the kid’s name wrong. Like, really way off wrong, not just a typo. LOL!!!
Post # 3
The only thing on your list above that my husband doesn’t do is make drs appts. He could, he knows all the necessary info, he just has never had to. For being a busy, working father with a wife who is a Stay-At-Home Mom, my husband is an extremely involved parent!
Post # 4
Sunshine09 : My situation is different, but my SO has a child that he shares with his ex-wife, and he is very involved in the kids life. Knows where everything goes, dr appts, etc.
Now, a lot of that has to do with the fact that now it’s a split household, so everything at his house is where he left it. But he is always having to do the “restocking” of pull ups, food/snacks, medicine, clothing, shampoo, you name it. It’s actually one of the many things that attracted me to him, was just how involved and present he is when it comes to parenting.
Post # 5
I am a Stay-At-Home Mom so I am the one who is doing most of the hands on day to day parenting. But my husband does do his fair share of home work, taking our daughters to soccer or dance practice and puts our youngest to bed every other night. I recently went out of town for 4 nights while he stayed home with our daughters and he did just fine- as I knew he would. While he doesn’t make dr appointments (since he’s working and I’m home), he has all the contact info and certainly could if necessary.
Post # 7
I don’t have kids but about 80% of my friends do as well as one of my sisters and pretty much all the dads are hopeless at the everyday things. I don’t know if that’s the mothers fault for being controlling or if it’s the dad’s fault for being uninterested.
Post # 8
Totally. I think he knows better than I do, and lately he takes them to all the doctor appointments himself because I work longer hours. It’s a little frustrating actually, because our parenting styles clash sometimes, but still, he’s awesome.
Post # 9
I do all of the things on your list … for not only our child, but my step child as well. My Darling Husband is very clueless. He loves them and is a good dad, but he just isn’t involved in that sort of stuff.
Post # 10
Does he know what drawer the pants vs pyjamas are kept in? Yes
Does he make any doctor appointments? No
Does he pack your child’s bag for trips? No
Does he know your child’s size of shoes or if they’ve outgrown something? No
Does he change over seasonal clothes? No
Although this isn’t unique for us- I do all of the budgeting, finances, grocery shopping, clothes shopping (even for Darling Husband himself). I mean, he does plenty but I am just more organized than him. He has some things like he almost always does bathtime (which includes pjs so that’s why he knows where they are ) and he is usually the one to get her dressed and take her to daycare in the morning (though I like to lay out the outfits for him) unless he has to leave early to drive out of town. But I am totally the organized one (naturally) in the relationship. I mean, I have a saved memo on my phone I call my “packing list” and if we’re going to be gone overnight all I need to do is glance at it to make sure I’ve packed everything without worrying about missing something.
Post # 11
Sunshine09 : my fiance does all that (he always sorts clothes/school bag and im always asking him for shoe sizes when im shopping… im terrable with remembering these things) except the doctors, my son rarely goes but if he does I normally take him and I make denitist appointments because im more flexable than his work is but if its a hospital appointment he comes
Post # 12
No kids yet, but growing up it was interesting waching my parents split tasks evenly but have their own “domains”. Mom did most of the day-to-day stuff (clothes shopping, doctors appointments, nagging us to tidy up/clean our rooms/make our beds, get ready for school) but dad did the more “life” stuff – helping with homework, setting up bank accounts, teaching us to drive, making education/sport/hobby decisions (we could choose schools so would tour and interview plus did lots of competitive club sports requiring tryouts and travel). Both were very involved in what was going on in the day to day in terms of school, friends, activities.
Dad definitely got more involved as I got older but that was because his career life quieted down. While I was very young he was working ridiculous hours but that slowed as he became more established and that gave him more time to help with kids.
Would my dad know my size at any given time while I was a kid? No. Would he take me shopping for new clothes if I had outgrown mine? Totally.
They were very much a team, although my dad often deferred to my mom’s opinion when it came to “is this allowed” questions as we got older as she was more in the loop of “school gossip” and knowing what “sleeping at Abby’s house” really meant 😀
Post # 13
Based on our decided household divisions, I will set up doctors appointments (but since our pediatrician is also our neighbor, Darling Husband will know who and where and the phone number) and children’s sizes because I will buy clothes (as I run our finances). Darling Husband will know where the clothes are kept as he will be in charge of dressing them in the morning.
Post # 14
Darling Husband is very involved with dd, but as far as clothing goes he leaves that to me because he knows I enjoy buying her wardrobe. He knows where all the stuff is in the closet though. 😛
Post # 15
Darling Husband has 2 boys (I’m stepmom) and he is very involved. Even having to co-parent with his ex, he knows about all their doctors appts and all that.
The older son just moved in with us. As much as I try to help out, he really has everything under control. (Making sure he has what he needs in his room, calling to make his appointments, makes sure they have the right clothes to wear, etc.) I think he’s just gotten used to this tho from being a single dad but wanting to stay really involved.
Not sure how it will be when we have our own kids tho, I’m pretty controlling lol.