Does your marriage recover after he says hes not attracted to you anymore?

posted 1 week ago in Emotional
Post # 31
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

anotherannonobee :  ugh that is so hard to hear. Is this something that you guys could talk about? Like about how this has influenced you? I can’t imagine it would be a fun conversation but I think it’d be worthwhile to have a deeper conversation. 

Post # 32
107 posts
Blushing bee

anotherannonobee :  I’m probably going to get backlash but I’m going to say it’s not messed up for him to be less attracted to you now that you’ve gained weight. And it a good sign hes being honest with you rather than just cheat on you. That means he loves you but physically the spark is dying. Me and my FH have an agreement to try to stay fit for each other. When we first started dating we both gained a little weight because we went out to eat all the time and we started cuddling on the couch more than exercising. We decided to get back into fitness and I personally wouldnt have a problem with him telling me I’ve gained weight because it creeps up without one noticing and I’d rather be told that I’ve gained 10 pounds rather than waking up and realizing I’ve gained 50. 


But you say hes gained weight too? I think you need to consider his feelings on the topic of sexual attraction. Everyone goes through rough patches with their body and your partner should love you but after a while, if a body condition can be fixed but isnt being fixed then it starts getting a little old. Why not both of you start exercising together? Bee, hes being honest with you. Its important for couples to be able to express their feelings and hes doing just that. Sounds like a deep conversation is needed.

ETA: I’ll add that I have a smaller frame but gain weight predominantly in my belly so 20lbs for me would be a big deal but on other body frames not so much. So I didnt comment on whether 20 lbs does or doesnt make a difference.

Post # 33
2070 posts
Buzzing bee

anotherannonobee :  I’m really concerned by your update, bee. You say he’s selfish and that “he fulfills other needs other than caring about my feelings.” Not caring about your feelings is a big deal. That’s a very basic quality in a partner… 

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