(Closed) Does your mom do this too?! NWR

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

KatesTheWord:  My mom doesn’t tell EVERYONE but she does tell my sister who is the worlds biggest loudmouth who immediately goes straight to the one person you don’t want to know something and tells them… Not usually in a spiteful way, she just can’t keep her mouth shut.

So if I don’t want the world to know something, I don’t tell either of them.

Post # 17
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

somethingbee:  same here. My mom just loves having things to talk about, and she especially loves talking about her beloved family. So if that means that everyone and their mom knows about my childbirth experience and that my eyeliner is tattooed on and how much I paid to get it done and that we were househunting and that my husband is quitting smoking … well, so be it.

I’m by no means a private person, so it doesn’t really bother me. It just means that if there’s info I really DON’T want shared, I can’t tell her. Luckily, that’s not terribly often so I don’t feel like our relationship is hurt by her love of gossip and oversharing 🙂

Post # 18
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Yeah. We got into it a few weeks ago. It’s super annoying. I don’t need anyone knowing my dirty laundry. If I wanted to tell ppl these things, I would!! I don’t care if they’re family!

Post # 19
Member
1147 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

KatesTheWord:  never, under any circumstances would my mom do that. My husband’s mother, however, is exactly like that. Therefore we don’t share anything remotely personal with her, ever.

Post # 20
Member
12096 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

No.  

You need to take a firm stand and tell your mother that this is upsets you and that it’s not OK. And that if it continues, you will not be confiding in her or telling her anything from now on. 

Post # 21
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

KatesTheWord:  My mom shared a very personal thing that I specifically asked her not to share and suddenly I get a phone call from my aunt about it. Now I don’t share things with my mom that I don’t want other people to know.

Post # 22
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

KatesTheWord:  This sounds exactly like my Mom.  She claims she can keep secrets but she absolutely can not.  Her and my aunt (her identical twin) tell each other everything.  So even if I say not to tell anyone, it’s like she assumes telling my aunt is still okay.  Like somehow she doesn’t count.  I feel your pain.  I just have to be very careful about what I tell her, which sucks.

Post # 23
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Mine does. I hate it, I don’t need the whole world knowing why I’m on bed rest or we bought an RV or what have you. It’s never anything super personal but it really bugs me to find out about. 

Post # 24
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Common for my mom. I now have learned to limit what I tell her because she tells the world. I remember when I was a teenager I went on vacation with a friend of mine for a week. When I came back I went to work (worked with my mom at that point) and a customer (at a restaraunt) tells me about how he has visited where i vacationed before and started talking about every single detail of my vacation that i had told my mother. At the end of the 20 minute speech he was saying about my vacation, i calmy said….”I’m glad your happy I enjoyed my vacation…. By the way…Who are you?” and that’s when he informed me he was just a tourist visiting the area and my mother had filled him in on all the details of my vacation…..I found this so creepy

Sad to say, but I do not talk to my mother anymore about all the things a daughter normally would. I love her, but she just loves to gossip.

Post # 25
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sorry your mum is being an asshole as you said. I would stop telling her things. 

Post # 26
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Normal for my mom- but my mom also recently went into therapy to get help with her controlling ways. She’s always had a problem with boundaries and it took me drawing the line for her to finally come around.

Post # 27
Member
4892 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

KatesTheWord:  MY mom will talk to family members, and maybe even a good friend of hers, about stuff. A great exmaple was about a year when we were wedding planning, and out of the blue I get a letter from my aunt (her sister). In it, it talks about how she knows my mom has these great ideas and how she grabs on to them even after someone tells her that’s not the direction to go (which is true), and that she’s listened to this her whole life with her. Oh, and the kicker… included a pamphlet from my cousins wifes family therapy business, cos my mom told her that Darling Husband and I didn’t want to get married in a church, cos we didn’t feel like counseling was needed (to each their own), and I’m guessing this rubbed my mom thr wrong way so my aunt offered some assistance.

I was not impressed. My sister and I have learned that you don’t tell our mom things unless you really do want her involved, otherwise she meddles too much that it can be an awful experience. I’ll admit, wedding planning with her was not fun because of her ideas for how she thought our wedding should be compared to what Darling Husband and I actually had in mind. I appreciate all of her help, but sometimes it’s just too much.

Post # 28
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

At what point will you stop sharing info you know that she will ultimately spread?

Post # 29
Member
760 posts
Busy bee

KatesTheWord:  This sounds like my mother. I had to go to the doctor for lady reasons. I had to switch appointment days and was going to tell our supervisor (we work at the same place- it gets tough) and as I was about to walk in and tell her, my mom is in there explaining why I need to leave. My mom just said “she’s a woman, she understands.” Ok but this is my body and she doesn’t need to know what’s going on…

Moms…

Post # 30
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Victoria Wedding Chapel

Unless I specifically tell her not to, my mom blabs everything to everyone. Even if I do tell her not to tell anyone, I have a feeling she still tells my sisters. They’re just better at keeping secrets than she is. I feel your pain! I don’t tell her things I don’t want anyone to know anymore. I just confide in my fiance and my sisters.

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