(Closed) Does your parents’ relationship affect how “traditional” YOU are?

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: Has your parents' marital status affected your choices?
    Yes, my/his parents are divorced and we are less traditional. : (13 votes)
    32 %
    No, my/his parents are divorced and it hasn't affected our choices. : (10 votes)
    24 %
    No, our parents aren't divorced and we're still not traditional. : (6 votes)
    15 %
    No, our parents aren't divorced and we're very traditional ourselves. : (12 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    When it came to invites, yes, we had to be non-traditional to make things make sense.  (My parents are divorced, my mom remarried.)

    Post # 5
    Member
    376 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    well… i didnt vote i coudnt think what my selection would be. My parents are still married. His are divorced – but they didnt get divorced until he was 21, so he was raised with his parents being married and he was already out of the house. we are both somewhat traditional. 

    I am being traditional about most of the invites and everything, esp since my parents are paying for things, and they are married, i want things traditional for them and to respect them without disrespecting his side.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5984 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    oh yeah! My parents are divorced and my dad is remarried but my mom has been engaged for like 7 years LOL. plus my grandparents are also divorced! No one in Darling Husband family is divorced! its so confusing. We just put, together with their parents πŸ˜€ I dont believe in divorce! It has consumed my entire family. πŸ™

    Post # 7
    Member
    2522 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @bestbuddies: Same here, my entire family has been divorced and his family hasn’t.  It’s tough since I don’t have a relationship with my mother. 

    We probably won’t have traditional invites only b/c we’re paying for it and I don’t see why I need to say that they’re hosting it when they aren’t, you know what I mean? But if you’re talking about gender roles, then yes–we fit into society’s idealized roles.

    EDIT: We aren’t having dancing at our wedding.  We’re having a Catholic Mass and that’s very traditional.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2459 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    His parents are happily together

    My parents split when I was 18months old.

    Our wedding was untraditional because it had to be, both my parents have now passed away so – 

    Invites, were because only one set of parents and we paid for the whole wedding so we invited the guests

    I walked down the Isle solo 

    No father-daughter mother -son dance, 

    Post # 9
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    My mom suggested tradition wording on the invites and I nixed that idea. We had extremely non-traditional invitations.

    His parents are divorced and mine are still married.

    My mom would have loved to do things more traditionally in general, but it’s just not me. Darling Husband would probably have been perfectly happy with everything being very traditional as well.

    So we’re kinda the reverse of what you’re saying. Traditional parents and non-traditional bride. Non-traditional parents and more traditional groom.

    Post # 10
    Member
    266 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I’m having traditional invitations anyway, my mom’s divorcing her husband right now so they’ll just say Willia kelllb daughter of Ms. Mom Wa-St because I still wanted that. His parents are still together, so that will look the same.

    We’re paying for it too, I just love the way that traditional invitation reads.

    No dance per my previous posts, and I’m going down the isle alone since I’m a grown up πŸ™‚

    Post # 11
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @live laugh love: I’m in line with this as well.

    My parents were high school sweethearts and are still happily married.

    His parents are divorced. They divorced when he was 18, but the home was always unhappy and full of spousal/child abuse.

    My family did influence the way we handled things. My family has also influenced DH’s views on marriage and family as well. We’re very lucky to have my parents as a great example for marriage. They also give wonderful advice about our relationship and only when asked, which is a plus.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5984 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @beekiss: I am sorry to hear that you dont have a relationship with your mother. I dont have a relationship with some of my family as well. I also had a very very bad relationship with my parents for years. One day we just decided that it was not worth it anymore. I forgave them for all the awful things they put me through (leaving me on my own at age 16, etc…) when they started doing their best to improve themselves and knew that they made several mistakes. We have very different relationships than your traditional parent relationship but atleast we are on speaking terms. I really hope that you and your mom can forgive eachother one day. Life is too short… πŸ˜€

    Post # 13
    Member
    2522 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @bestbuddies: Oh it’s not about forgiveness.  I literally don’t know where she is.  I gave her my phone number 2 years ago and she hasn’t called.  I’ve met her maybe a handful of times?  Yeah, it’s a really weird situation.

    EDIT: Sorry OP for bringing the family dramaz to the thread.

    Post # 14
    Member
    376 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @mwitter80: seriously, I think we are in the same boat!  Its crazy how different his upbringing was from mine… 

    Post # 15
    Member
    5984 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @beekiss: oh, I am so sorry πŸ™ that must be very difficult. 

    The topic ‘Does your parents’ relationship affect how “traditional” YOU are?’ is closed to new replies.

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