(Closed) Does your SO ASK for sex?

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 17
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Jw1724:  My husband asks sometimes, but it’s usually more touching/kissing to get things started.  If we’re low on time he will ask though (moves things along faster).

Post # 19
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Jw1724:  Oh my husband asks me to and it drives me nuts!! I want him to just do it, its weird if you talk about it and plan it, lol. Like we will be out walking the dog, and he will be like “Can we have sex before I go to work?” or like when I get home from work, he be like “So are you in the mood?” So annoying and certainly a turn OFF.

Post # 20
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

FH asks me sometimes. I don’t mind; it just seems like the most straight forward way to find out if I’m in the mood. I guess it isn’t very romantic, but I’m not always Casanova myself, so I don’t really expect him to be wooing me all the time. It still makes me feel wanted and loved 🙂

Post # 21
Member
882 posts
Busy bee

Fiance used to ask a lot. A LOT. And it was ‘do you want to have sex’. We had countless conversations about how it is a complete turn off and how if he does it, not only will sex not happen but probably a heated conversation will happen. He doesn’t do it anymore. He still hasn’t gotten spontaneous sex completely yet, but it’s certainly much better than it used to be.

Post # 22
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee

@Jw1724:  have YOU tried initiating things? Maybe you can start kissing him or meet with with lingerie things like that…that dont involve questions.

Post # 23
Member
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We don’t ask, we just do. We never turn each other down. 

Post # 24
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

So interesting reading all your comments! Many bees are into spontaneous sex. 

Personally, I love when he asks, rather than put moves on me. I’m extremely busy and have a demanding job, and I need to be relaxed with some time on my hands to be really in the mood. Otherwise the stress prevents any libido. That’s my life! I do ask him as well, and he’s quite happy with that. 

So for us, what works best is asking. And we live our marriage just fine that way 😉

Post # 25
Member
9976 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsPanda99:  +1.  Same here.

Post # 26
Member
3765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Darling Husband asks sometimes, I ask too. It’s cute, imo. We have spontaneous sex, too sometimes which is good.

I’m equal opportunity when it comes to how sex is initiated, haha.

Post # 27
Member
429 posts
Helper bee

The only time he’s ever asked is when he knows I had my period so he’s not sure if it’s possible or not, sometimes he doesn’t ask and starts with foreplay so I just eventualy tell him that’s as far as he’ll go. Otherwise we’ll just jump on each other.

Post # 28
Member
1017 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We both iniatiate, and sometimes we ask and sometimes we don’t.

Have you explained to your SO that you just want him to initiate rather than ask (and that questions like “are you going to sleep” are the same as just asking for it outright)? You said “he knows that bugs me,” but sometimes guys really need us to lay it out clearly for them.

I prefer night sex and my Fiance prefers morning sex, so we actually find ourselves compromising with evening sex a lot! Like right after we’ve gotten home from work, we’ll strip down and cuddle and talk about our days to unwind and then we’ll get a little frisky ;). Sometimes we’ll even throw chicken in the oven for like 45 mins and get busy while it’s cooking haha, and then when we’re done dinner is ready :)!

Post # 29
Member
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Personally I think one of the best ways to ask your partner is by groping them. It’s a clear and sexy signal, if your partner isn’t feeling it they’ll push your hand away or say so, if they are feeling it, since the process has already started, I don’t think they’re likely to go anywhere but straight to bed when you leave the room. If you leave the room that is, couch sex can be amazing. 😉

Post # 30
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ladyamalthea:  I agree to an extent.  If I am an the mood I just start kissing my SO along his jaw line and he knows I love being kissed on the back of the neck, like if we are cuddling in bed or if I am standing in the kitchen working.  However, I dated a guy that tried going for the “gold” without warming me up at all.  He would just start rubbing my crotch over my pants!  Hello, I dont’ want to be dry humped and I certainly dont want you fingering my yoga pants.

Post # 31
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

Eh, we ask sometimes.  After being together for 7 years, there are some days where you’re on the fence 50/50 like, I can do it and but I can also sleep so asking just leaves it up to the partner, depending on who wants to be on top lol

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