Post # 32
He’s not a planner and does zero on research but is great and involved when it comes down to making a decision. I find the options and then we narrow it does to 2 or 3 options and then he gives his input. I’d love it if I could just give him ‘x’ to do and have him take care of it – but, it’s working out ok the way we are doing it now … I’ve been happy with his enthusiasm and that he actually cares about details (like fancy font!) lol
What does your Fiance say when you ask for input or his opinion? Or, are you wanting him to take care of specific tasks? I know that wedding planning can seem very overwhelming to guys, so perhaps he just doesn’t know where to start and how to go about doing things. Maybe start with a topic that would be of most interested to him (music, or cake tasting, or???) and see if he’ll ‘bite’ when you ask him what he things about x, y, or z.
Part of wedding planning, I’m convinced, is leaning how to communicate with each other (even if over a subject neither of you cares to broach).
Good luck and keep us posted. This should be an enjoyable time (even though it’s chock full of stress!) but you shouldn’t have to feel like you are doing it all alone.
Post # 33
I know for the most part guys arent into wedding planning. I guess I figured that since it was OUR day that he would want some input. I guess I was wrong. I just feel gulity making all the decisions since the wedding day i suppose to be about US.
He doesnt really want to give his opinion on things and I,ve tried assigning jobs and nothing is getting done so far.
I’m just stressed and get that and thats where these feelings are coming from. I just thought it would different I guess. That we’d do it together… but after hearing from everyone else I see that I’m not alone. Just stressed!
Thank you all for your support. It has really helped and I dont feel so alone anymore.
Post # 34
- Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!
He whines about doing it, but he feels left out if I do it on my own. I think he just whines a little because he feels like he has to. :p
Post # 35
T’s thrilled and loving it so far! He’s tackling the church this week and getting all the information I need for us to secure the date! He’s also really into what the groomsmen and what he’s going to wear and us collaborating together to create the “feel” of our day! It’s a love affair and we’re thrilled!!!
Post # 36
I agree with Miss Sayrah that his lack of interest is not a reflection of his feelings for you…like krissybee said, most men are NID.
As for me, my FH doesn’t seem to care either. He’ll gladly listen to me go on and on about all the details, but in the end he’s “whatever you want baby”. I do make sure I run every decision by him, even if I get the “yeah that’s fine”, I just don’t want it to seem like I’m NOT involving him.
He has giving his input on a few things, and b/c I know he’s feels strongly about them, I’ve used his suggestions. Luckily nothing outlandish has been requested!
Are there other reason why your Fiance doesn’t want to help? Is he already too busy with school, work, other things? As much as I love planning, some days I’m so stressed with everything else, I don’t even want to think about it! Maybe you are just catching him on a bad day?
Post # 37
I think most men are 50/50 – there are things they care about and then things they won’t even notice. Fiance is better with our wedding planning than I am. If it wasn’t for him, all I’d have planned is a date and my hometown church. I’ve never gone to a meeting without him – although I will say, his being unemployed makes it easier for him to meet with vendors during the week without me.
A guy not being involved could turn around and bite him in the butt though – I was in the wedding of a HS friend – the groom wanted nothing to do with the wedding. Her colors were pink & green and when she came home with bright green cardstock invitations, he was livid. She told him since he refused to go with her to pick them out, he had no say & the green stayed. 😉