(Closed) Does your SO talk to you about your weight..? I feel a little hurt.

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 122
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This is a touchy subject but I see nothing wrong with him wanting to motivate you to lose weight.  The way someone take care of themselves and their own health says a lot about how they will Care for their mate. With excessive weight comes all sorts of health issues and problems. 


Post # 123
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mrsoze:  I so agree with you!!!  When you stop caring about the way you look, then you’re saying it doesn’t matter how he feels.  

Post # 124
43 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have to say, it is a subject that depends on the couple. When I met my fiance, I had recently gotten out of a bad  relationship and my weight was down to about 110 pounds (and I’m 5’9). I have always been on the thin side and somehow managed to get extremely skinny, albeit not on purpose. But as a kid I was always very thin and loved to play sports but even when I wasn’t playing, I still stayed skinny. 

Anyway, Fiance is a former personal trainer now (he was still one when we met) and when we met he thought I was a little thin…this I found out much later, or course, but fell in love with me anyway. Two and a half years later, I’m about 25 lbs heavier, but with my height being 135 is pretty much right where it should be. However that doesn’t mean that I can eat whatever I want and not do anything about it! I used to hate going to the gym.

My Fiance is no longer a trainer by profession but he is Type 1 diabetic and works hard to stay healthy. Even he isn’t like crazy about nutrition and fitness because that would drive me insane. He will eat fried chicken and something sweet every once in a while. Long story short, we go to the gym together a couple of times a week and we actually make it fun. I used to hate the gym but now I look forward to it. It’s easier once you actually get past being sore and seeing results! When my arms started getting really toned I loved how they looked so I keep wanting to go back so they stay that way, lol!  My Fiance  works hard to maintain his health and longevity because of the diabetes and I have fibromyalgia and working out has helped that too! The benefits have been incredible and this is coming from someone who literally hated and physically dreaded the gym. Anyway we really just talked about it to each other and it was more of me saying I wanted to get toned and he thought it was awesome.

You can get a gym membership for a pretty decent price nowadays. I would seek out a smaller, “mom and pop” type gym at first. It is less intimidating and you usually don’t have to worry about things like two year contracts and fees and all that, plus people there are usually friendlier. We belong to a local gym and raquet club and we drive 20 minutes to get there even though there is a Planet Fitness right up the street from our house just because we love the environment there more. Maybe you two can find a local gym and just make it a fun thing!  My Fiance and I make it fun by going to Tropical Smoothie Cafe or Subway after our workout as a treat. Knowing that is happening after our workout motivates me even more! But all in all, it is your body and ten pounds ain’t no biggie! It’s all about moderation. Sorry for my novel but this is a subject I can get into! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 125
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Birdi:  100% agree.


My Fiance and i talk about our weight.  He wants to lose his belly (I keep telling him it’s carbs), and I’m trying to find what bloats me (I’m thinking wheat so I’ve cut that out of my diet). 

BUT, he would never tell me I need to go to the gym.  Or stop drinking beer. Or that I need to do more.

I also have just been diagnosed with osteopenia, so I am working on correcting that as well.  So if he said NOW that I should go to the gym, it’s to help with THAT more than weight loss.


I never understand why men think it’s okay to make comments about that.

I would start picking at him about something that would annoy him.  I know it sounds childish, but he might not understand how you feel until he has it done to him.

Post # 126
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@darkflame:  I hope you feel better , yes it’s plain old rude and never should be said. 

Post # 127
526 posts
Busy bee

@mrsrecon:  Right, which is why I told OP to have a skinny latte.  ๐Ÿ˜‰  Nonfat milk, if you aren’t lactose sensitive, is very good for you, since it’s a great source of calcium and protein.  I rarely indulge in the heavy calorie drinks.  It’s a few-times-a-year treat.  I did not mean to imply that OP should drink the bad drinks!  ๐Ÿ™‚

@calendula:  Actually, I did not know this!  Yay!  Another reason to drink my espresso!  ๐Ÿ™‚

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