Does your wedding NEED to feel like 'YOU'?

posted 2 months ago in Venue
Post # 16
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

Congratulations on your engagement! I think that you and your fiancé needs to do what feels right for both of you and what makes both of you the happiest. With that said, i think it’s really cool when a couple incorporate some things that is significant to them, to a certain extent. Like if a couple is in the theater scene, getting married in an old theater is cool and tasteful. If a couple is into cars and decides that the centerpiece needs to be diecasts of cars, that’s just too much. With that said, you should do you. This is your wedding and at the end of the day, you will not be any less married just because you went for what you wanted instead of something generic. If you already feel this way about this venue, maybe you should consider looking at some brewery and see how you feel when you walk in there. 

Post # 17
Member
3832 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I follow my wedding photographer on Facebook and you can see that she shoots weddings at the same locations over and over. Because some places are just great places for weddings and that’s ok! It’s going to happen. It’s not the venue that makes the wedding yours – the fact that it’s YOU getting married and YOUR friends and family is enough. No wedding will ever be exactly the same. It doesn’t matter if they follow the same general pattern – no one will ever have the exact same combination of guests, ceremony style, decor, flower etc as you. Don’t worry about it. Do what you like! 

Post # 18
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

I think different people will have different answers. Some will want their wedding to reflect and capture them as a couple, others won’t care so much.

Personally for us, it’s incredibly important that our wedding is ‘us’. Our venue is a tropical conservatory (we LOVE plants, we have 9 in just our downstairs loo alone, the smallest room in the house 😂), I am known for always wearing stripes so I want my dress to be striped, and we are making it low waste and plastic free as that is important to us. 

As I guest, my favourite wedding I’ve been to was the one that spoke volumes about the couple getting married, and my least favourite was the one that was quite generic and didn’t really have nods to their lives together or personality. But that isn’t to say it wasn’t also a lovely, perfect day! Ultimately, if the couple get married then that is all a wedding actually NEEDS to be.

It’s such a personal thing and you just need to make sure any decision you’re making is for you and your fiance, not because of what other people are or are not doing!

 

Post # 19
Member
12114 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

annabananabee :  +1 Along those lines, one of the reasons that weddings traditionally follow protocol, for example with standard wording on invitations, wedding vows, and a defined window of time to mail out invitations is that it used to be considered in very poor taste to set yourselves apart as more unique or in love than other couples, to compete for guests, or to imply your marriage had more “joy” and “love” than the next person’s.

Post # 20
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

It doesn’t NEED to, and guest won’t notice if the wedding is very “you” or not but you’ll appreciate it if little aspects of the wedding feels like you. It doesn’t even need to be big things.

Some examples that applied to my wedding: Our venue had chandeliers that my Great Grandma would have loved so that felt special to me, we had a lot of songs from our favorite movie The Wedding Singer, we LOVE food so we picked a catering package that had a TON of food and a lot of our favorites, after our first date we went to one of my friends houses for a bonfire and had s’mores so we had a s’mores bar at our wedding. So little things that maybe others wouldn’t have picked up on, but WE knew it was “US”. Also, our wedding was an hour away from where we live but all of our family is spread out all over our state so there really wasn’t a way to choose something close for the majority. Most guests stayed at the hotel and it was great!

Post # 21
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

I’m happy to read all this feedback. We’re outdoorsy but are not getting married at an outdoor venue. I would’ve loved a barn wedding and perhaps some friends would expect that of us, but most of the barn venues were 1.5 hours away, making the drive that much longer for 80% of our guests. And they also had very high site fees. Our venue is a fairly standard but classy catering hall, but the views are great. It’s a meaningful spot to us since right from the venue you can see the river as well as two locations we like to hike at. I figure the “us” will be reflected in flowers, music, etc. But sometimes I do wish I had a more rustic venue that might feel more like us.

Post # 22
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

There are so many ways to have your wedding reflect your personalities and your relationship besides the venue. The ceremony, the vows, the music, the food, the decor, the order of the evening’s events…

The one vision I initially had for my wedding was that I wanted to get married under a big tree, and we made that happen with an outdoor farm wedding and our reception in a tent. Everything else came after that decision, but it was all up to us and reflected our tastes. The German-influenced food was my husband’s choice and I wanted a dessert buffet and a s’mores bar, we selected all the music, decided not to have a bridal party, I wrote the ceremony and chose poems for our siblings to read, we each wrote our own vows, we had lawn games during the cocktail hour – etc. etc. There are a ton of ways to tailor each choice to reflect your preferences and make your guests comfortable, regardless of whether you’re doing it on a golf course or at a brewery. 

Post # 23
Member
2507 posts
Sugar bee

I’m in the camp that your wedding does not need to reflect your personalities, and in fact that most people think their weddings are far more unique and reflective of their identity than they really are. Each wedding will of course be distinguished by the bride and groom themselves, the selection of guests, and small details like wedding colors, etc. But as much as we can obsessively spend time choosing the perfect centerpieces or planning your theme, many/most people won’t actually notice those details anyway. And like PPs have pointed out, you could get married at the courthouse and be just as married. If you want your wedding to be reflective of your personality, you can try to fit in some personalizing details, but you should do it becuase it’s important to you, not because you think your guests will notice. 

Post # 24
Member
5 posts
Newbee

If you are happy with your plans then keep. If you do not then change it.  A wedding only needs to be what you and your Fiance want it to be.

Post # 25
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I think by the time it’s all said and done, it’s going to feel like you just by nature of the fact that it’s your wedding. It’s you and your fiancé saying the vows. It’s your family and friends there to support you. Those are the main pieces, and the small decisions you make along the way will just reinforce that.

This was something I hadn’t thought about while planning my own wedding, but many guests came up and told me on the day of that the wedding was “so us”. This was despite the fact that we had the ceremony in a church (canned vows), had almost no decor besides simple centerpieces, and had the reception at a location no one had been to before. So what made it “so us”? I like to think it’s the small traditions we incorporated from my culture- a reading in my native language, a fun bread breaking ceremony. It was the speeches from our loved ones which could only be about us. It was our close friend trying not to cry as she performed a solo during the ceremony, and my dad singing 5 songs during the reception while everyone danced. The homemade cake and desert bar. The beer selection. The fact the reception was outdoors and the vibe was casual and fun. 

My point is, it’s your wedding and it’s going to feel like it by the time you’re done. You don’t need fancy decor or a special location for it to be your wedding.

Post # 26
Hostess
8525 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

sailorluna :  For us it was important to us that our wedding captured our spirit and what we like as a couple. We still kept it classy and serious when it needed to be, but injected lots of fun and personal touches and got so many comments from our guests that it was the best wedding they have been to. Looking back at our photo I am so glad we chose the things that made it “us” rather than just curating another “insta perfect” wedding. 

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