(Closed) Does/did your wedding feel like the last thing on your family’s mind?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

At times I was beginning to feel this way before mine. I am one of those people who can really let things get to them. So b/c I was insistant that my wedding day be full of happy memories, I did my best to brush these feelings off. And it worked for the most part. There are still people I wish had played a more active and excited role (especially the day of) but I take comfort in the people who did share in my happiness that day.  Hope it is the same for you.

Post # 4
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Well, as much as this sucks I think you just have to try to get yourself over it. It is natural, I think, for brides to feel like "I’m spending so much time thinking about the wedding, everyone should be thinking about it at least a tenth of the time I am!" But, it doesn’t always work that way. Unfortunately, this engagement came at a really bad time for your family, especially your mother, who, in my experience should probably be the person most excited, next to you. It sounds like she is under an incredible amount of stress right now, and maybe this is just adding to that instead of helping her forget about it.

I think you just need to spend some more time with your fiancee, and be excited together. As much as her reaction stinks, it really doesn’t matter what your boss thinks. Just celebrate the closeness of your wedding with your fiancee; your family will come along as the day gets closer and the excitement builds.

Post # 6
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

BnR09, are we twins?

When I called my mom to tell her I was engaged she said "That’s nice honey, we’ll see how long it lasts."

I understand that she lives a state and a half away, but it’s not like I got engaged to a total stranger. My Fiance and I had been good friends for 9 years before we even started dating! And anytime I try to talk wedding with her, she brushes me off and says "Now isn’t a good time to talk about these things, we’ll talk later" and hangs up! It’s very frustrating. We are also paying for our entire wedding ourselves, so I know it’s not a financial pressure for her. I’m getting ready to send out our Save-The-Date Cards, and I’ve been putting if off for a week because I’m scared of what my mother/grandmother/family will/won’t say about them. Sigh.

I feel your frustration. Just know that there’s a fellow bee going through the same thing!

Always stressed, always tired and conversations are always complaints about her life. ~ my mother exactly. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

 

Post # 7
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i’m so sorry this is happening to you!

sometimes i fell that too. this year it’s my little sister 15’s birthday (in mexico, there’s a big celebration when girls become a ‘Quinceañera’) and my parents 25th aniversary… so when we announce we wanted to get married this year, they where opposite to it… my sis’ has never been negative, in fact, she’s even more supportive than my MOH(another sister)… but my parents seem to be more interested on my sis’ birthday than our wedding, so it makes me a little bit sad… not because i want all the attention on me… but it’s frustating to show them some wedding details and they’re not excited about it… even my pastor’s family was more interested on our plans than my own family…

just hang in there… i’ve learned you cannot change other people’s mind or behavior… i’m sure you will be happy on your wedding day, if only because your marrying the love of your life… but that’s the best reason of all!!

Post # 8
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Ha!  All the time!  Right after we announced our engagement, my three-month old niece was suddenly diagnosed with a heart thing, so she was in the NICU in Boston Children’s Hospital.  (She’s mostly ok now.)  So for a good six months while my niece was at Children’s, everything focused on her, as it should have.  But we still had to book vendors.  And I wanted my mom’s input.  I didn’t ever get it.

Now the wedding is 6 months away.  My other sister and Maid/Matron of Honor just announced she’ll be 8 months pregnant at the wedding.   I am THRILLED for her.  But a little less thrilled for me. 

The kicker is, Fiance and I don’t even want kids.  So as excited as we are for my Maid/Matron of Honor, and as relieved as we are for my niece, we also know we’ll never have those feelings, so THIS is our exciting part of life. 

Luckily, FI’s mom and dad are beyond excited and they help me through the "My mom hates me" stages. 

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