Post # 77
@CurlyWurly: Very confusing. I guess I do get a little worried when there random people coming in and out of my house – like today for example there are people retiling my shower. But like I mentioned I try to keep the most sentimental and valuable things locked up.
Post # 78
@forshure: I think the first step is to really figure out why you have the trust issues and germ issues you do. Are you in South Africa or in a different country? My sister-in-law is a huge germaphobe and she misses out on so many awesome things. She won’t even eat her steak cooked deliciously, but likes it cooked to leather…all because of germs. I know it’s some people’s preference but her reasoning is germs.
The reason I asked what country is that, well, some places in Africa, and in the world, are not places I’d say, “Just try to get a little dirty and see what happens!” However, in other places I’d say, “What’s the worst that could happen?” In my part of the world (Pennsylvania, United States), a little bit of dirt/germs isn’t going to kill you.
Have you ever considered talking to a therapist about your trust issues? What does your husband say?
Post # 79
@forshure: you’re still not quite doing it though. you’re not actually seeing a therapist about it already, you’re merely thinking about it, and are spending time worrying about whether a maid should clean your master bedroom or not before you’ve even dealt with these trust issues.
my response was also based on skimming through some responses, not all.
Post # 80
@forshure: wow that was one session of being bashed online *sigh
Please understand that most posts are in response to your original post, in which you didn’t give us any background about the cultural aspect of having cleaning ‘help’. Assumptions were made where not enough information was given. It was interesting to hear about how hiring help is a standard in your culture, not restricted to the wealthy and well-off.
(ETA the post I am referring to.)
Post # 81
@strawbs: dammit woman!!!!! i cannot stand up now and go and get a therapist it is 18h30 in the evening. give me a break. it is now today that i realised how big my issues are. so yes i will look into it because looking at it wholly now i see that every part of my life is affected negatively by it so plese just shut up already im tired of defending myself. its jsut that today i saw that there are control issues at play aswell. if you have nothing good or constructive to say then comment on some other post because i am tired of being bashed and bullied by certain individuals behind their pc screen.
Post # 82
@forshure: If you don’t want any more replies, you can flag one of the PP’s and ask a MOD to close the thread.
Post # 83
@peachacid: not married yet but engaged. im in south africa. i am really considering seeing a therapist because i have realised how much of a big deal it is now when looking at the negative impact it has caused in my life. aaaaah its crazy living like this but i need to control it instead of it controlling me for once
Post # 84
@forshure as someone from South Africa i’ll respond: Yes we have a maid, yes she cleans our master bedroom and every other room in our house, no she hasnt ever stolen from us, no she does not help me move furntiure or bring things to me when im sick.
I see a bunch of people moaned about you using the term maid, but that’s the term most people still use here so dont let them get to you too much, I think most people just assumed you’re super rich from your post and didnt bother to wonder where you’re from when they replied. The correct term to use is domestic worker, but im sure you know that, heck i know that but its still easier to say maid, char, cleaner etc. I still try to always use the correct term.
I think what you really need more then anything is to go and see a psychologist or a therapist or someone as you have quite a few phobias and serious trust issues. You need help, you wont be able to enjoy life and live it fully with all these fears.
To everyone else there was no need to be so harsh, it is quite normal for people to have domestic workers in our country as it creates jobs for those in need. Also, it isnt just the wealthy that have domestic workers, there is such a huge gap between the haves and the have nots that even those you would consider poor sometimes have a cleaner once a week.
Post # 85
@ilovestripes: Also to add on to what you said, what is wrong with being super rich anyways?! One should not apologise for their life lol.
Just because she asked ‘does your maid clean the master bedroom’, does she have to justify her reasons for doing so?
I see many posts around here that don’t necessarily apply to everyone on the bee, so should I admonish them for it until the ‘background is explained’?
Anyways, that’s just my 2 cents(or 10 cents considering I’ve posted several times!)
Post # 86
The OP may have not given any cultural background, but neither did anybody think of asking her until way into the thread. But then again it is a lot easier to sit and judge others instead of asking for more information isn’t it?
Going back to OP’s question, we are discussing hiring a cleaner for next year after I’ve had my baby because I am not sure if I can take the time off work. The decision will be made depending on costings, if it turns out not to be worth it financially, I will become a SATM, so if we’re going to be broke, at least I get to enjoy my baby! :-). I would have no problem whatsoever allowing the cleaner into my bedroom, but would probably hide any embarrasing things in suitcases, and put my jewellery in the safe at the office where we work. Darling Husband is the only one with the key.
Post # 87
Yes, ours clean our master bedroom and bath.
Post # 88
Hey all. We’re getting a lot of flags on this thread that we need to review. OP, if you’d like this thread closed, just flag a post (any post) on it and let us know.
Post # 89
@vorpalette there shouldnt have been so much negativity in the first place. It’s just mean. There are people from all walks of life on the Bee from all over the world, I cant believe how everyone attacked this girl just because she came across as someone everyone else seems to consider upper crust. I actually love that the first response mentioned first world problems – we are in Africa, 3rd world, developing etc. People assumed things and went on the attack. Its not right and even if she is super rich who are we to judge? Why does having money make someone a target.
Post # 90
@CurlyWurly, i just read all your posts and I wanted to say you make a lot of sense. Im sure the OP appreciated your replies
Post # 91
I’m closing this thread at the request of the OP. Thanks!