Post # 1
My wedding is less than a week away now and my mother-in-law has decided to start making some demands out of the blue. The biggest one is that she wants to bring her dog to our wedding weekend! We are getting married at a dog-friendly resort but no one else is bringing their dog to the weekend even though most of our family and friends have pets. Her dog is VERY poorly behaved and is not even house broken (we are paying for the whole wedding ourselves so the security/cleaning deposit is on us). She claims that she will just stay in her cabin with the dog the whole time and the dog will never come out to harass the guests but that even bothers me more since we don’t want her missing from the wedding ceremony/festivities.
She has given us an ultimatum that if the dog doesn’t come, she won’t come. I hope she is just bluffing but what should we do?
Need some advice!
Post # 3
What does your Fiance think of this? She is his mother… Does he really mind if she doesn’t come? I don’t think it’s rude to tell her no. You are paying for the wedding and clean up (what if she doesn’t poop and scoop, or the dog pees in the cabin?) and everything, she should respect that.
Post # 4
That’s so ridiculous! If my Future Mother-In-Law demanded that she bring a dog to my wedding I would just tell he “no you’re not”. Your fiancé needs to stand up to her. That is totally unacceptable to bring a dog there.
Post # 5
I would let her bring the dog, but insist she bring an xpen or a crate that the dog can be confined to when she is gone.
Post # 6
It wouldn’t matter to me if she brought the dog for her “free time” but the point of her trip is for her son’s wedding. She needs to be able to actively participate in all the standard festivities and the dog cannot destroy the room while she is gone. I’m not saying her dog would, but in a new environment dogs can have even more anxiety than they normally do, which is no-bueno for a dog with some behavioral (i.e. training) issues already. A crate or pen, etc, for the few hours she needs to be away should be fine.
When you say cabin, what do you mean? Another side concern I would have was her dog barking/whining and intruding on the privacy of those nearby. If she’s in a cabin off to herself that should cut down on that as well.
Post # 7
@Westwood: yeah i think id do this too. maybe shes having problems finding or paying for a kennel to look after the dog…or she doesnt want to leave him
asking that hes properly crated while shes out isnt a big imposition though, and that the dog isnt at the actual wedding
and for good measure i suppose you can make sure that as the dog isnt housetrained, any accidents that result in the loss of the deposit will mean she is liable for the deposit
Post # 8
@rusticbride82: You should just explain to her that as the mother of the groom, her staying in her cabin with the dog all weekend is not ideal for the role she has in his life, as well as yours. She needs to be engaging in family activities, especially since…well, her son is getting married! You could take the emphasis off the fact that you really just don’t want the dog there & put it a way that focuses on her.
Something like, “Oh well, [fiance] & I were really looking forward to spending a lot of family time with you on the days leading up to our wedding, as well as on our big day. If you bring [dog], & have to stay shut in the cabin watching over him, we would be sad that you wouldn’t be able to be out greeting the guests as [fiance’s] mother, & spending valuable time with family you might not see often.”
If the problem is expensive boarding for the dog, maybe suggest a friend watch him?
Post # 9
I guess this already transpired?
I think she should be allowed to bring the dog, but she needed to have had a crate and be willing to pay damages if the dog messed up anything.
I have two huskies from hell, actually, and I wanted to do a wedding cabin weekend and take them. I realized that they’d have to be crated most of the time, and that they’d have to remain away from the guests because they are so young, energetic and just plain roudy. I have trained them the best I can. Huskies are the hardest dogs to train–people say.
But as long as the mom was willing to accept full responsibility, it should have been fine.