Doing everything 'perfect' = bfn??

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Darling Husband and I have been TTC for a year and a half.  Every single month we have had perfect timing.  Here is what I have done every month:  I have temped, I have used opk’s, I have tracked CM.  I have tried acupuncture, fertileCM, preseed, vitex, pineapple core, abdominal packs and so many other countless things.  

I have cried.  I have screamed.  I have shouted.  I have felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown.  I have over-analyzed charts.  I have prayed.  I have bargained with God.  

But because I had all my charts, I was able to see an RE at six months instead of a year (was able to prove that we had perfect timing for six consecutive cycles).  

I was diagnosed with endometriosis.  I had a lap to remove the endo.  My husband had an SA to verify that everything looks good with him.  I’m now on monitored medicated cycles with a trigger shot.  

Yes, it’s had to get BFNs when you’re doing everything right.  But knowledge can be helpful.  If you really feel like somethign is wrong, take all the data to your doctor.  

Post # 17
Member
7002 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I feel ya.

My Darling Husband is even worse about it than me. Each month that I’m not PG after doing it “perfectly” he just doesn’t understad. I’m super frustraited and upset but I also understand that it’s not a perfect science and there’s not rhyme or reason why it doesn’t work sometimes.

I am thankful that my doctor is willing to be as poractive as she is. I’ve been off BC for 2.5 years and while not preventing we weren’t actually TTC until the last 7 months. Even still, my Dr was willing to get a jumpstart on bloodword and seman analysis because she recognizes that we’re both over 30 and there just isn’t a point in waiting.

Post # 18
Member
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I TOTALLY get how you feel. We’re on to cycle 6.. 5 cycles of literally the most perfect timing. I have got a positive opk every month, and have almost always hit the three days before o, day of o, and usually the day after.. we have tried preseed… and Im also having a hard time wrapping my ahead around why this isnt working. How can I ovulate perfectly every month, and still not get a bfp?? It doesnt make sense.. which lets my mind wonder to the possibility of something being wrong me myself or dh. I don’t really have any suggestions on how to cope… sometimes im fine, and other times im a mess. I try to keep myself busy and remind myself of all the benefits of not having a baby yet (sleeping in, doing renos, more money, etc) but its hard. Its even harder when all you see is babies on your newsfeed and so many “oops” stories. I start to feel jealous, and then mad at myself for being jealous. 

Post # 19
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

You only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant with perfect timing.  That means 1/5, meaning that if you have perfect timing every month it is likely to take around 5 months.  It is frustrating, because it is out of your hands, and most people like to be in control.  Just finished month 3 of BFN- it sucks.  I know I did everything I could do, and 3 months isn’t that long, so I have to remain hopeful.  Like some others on here, we aren’t telling friends that we are TTC.  We don’t want the pressure.    

Post # 20
Member
3672 posts
Sugar bee

A lot of people do everything perfect for years, and still get BFN’s. I honestly can’t remember any months where Darling Husband and I didn’t do exactly what we were supposed to, and we still went through a lot of crap and time before getting our son. It’s all down to whether there is something preventing it from happening and straight up luck. It sucks, but think of those perfect cycles as you giving yourself the best chance you can which is a hell of a lot better than if your timing sucked. Know that you’re doing all you can for the time being. 

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