(Closed) Doing the housewife thing (long)?

posted 8 years ago in Home
Post # 3
2820 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah I was kinda in your boat and i’m so glad I’ve had breaks for a month here and there between school or jobs or whatever to learn and I’m still learning big time. 

Watch cooking shows, go on food network, stuff like that.  My husband is a good cook and I used to be not so good, but slowly I’ve been learning and now I think I’m capable of better food because I’ve learned more techniques than he has.  Maybe even go to the library and read some.  Julia child has some walk through books but all her stuff takes forever, but try to find some books that really go step by step.  For bread I use the ‘bread in 5 minutes a day’ book. 

Cleaning I’m terrible at as well but I’m trying to get better.  This is something both me and my husband are bad at.  What I’ve learned so far is everything needs a place.  If it doesn’t have it’s own happy place then it wanders somewhere where I don’t want it to be. 

I’m a little ADD at times too so I always have hulu going on when I’m cleaning or cooking or language lessons or something.  Oh and I chat on WB too for distraction, have to have multiple things going at once to stay focused on anything. 

Post # 4
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think you are over-thinking this.  There isn’t much to learn.  Figure out how to run your dishwasher and use yoru washing machine and dryer.  Most are pretty self-explanatory.  Buy some bleach and other cleaning products and clean the bathroom.  You also need to vacuum and dust and mop the kitchen floor.  If you want to be really good, buy some Windex and clean the glass surfaces and the windows once in a while.

Go online or to your local bookstore and get a cookbook.  There are all kinds of “cooking 101” type books.  Start with the easy recipes and work your way up.


Post # 5
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am a very traditional person and I love doing the housewife thing when it is reasonable.  We are waiting for the legal things to be done concerning his belated ex-wife then I will quit my job and be a housewife.  He absolutely loves the fact that he gets to work hard (and he really works a hard dangerous job) and I am there to take care of him.  If you are confortable doing this and learning the cooking, housewifey things, there are tons of places online to learn about cooking or you can take a class.  You can download household lists and change them to meet you schedule and/or needs.  You are more than welcome to PM me and I will send you some great simple recipes that my family loves or if you have any questions.

Post # 6
1432 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@ScooterBride:  First of all, don’t get overwhelmed!  You will learn everything you need to know over time – you just need to start somewhere.

Anyone can cook – just follow a recipe!  I’m kind of in the same boat you are: I just moved across the country to be with my FH and am looking for a job.  During the day I job hunt, then choose something to make for dinner, and then go to the store to buy the ingredients. Thankfully the grocery store is a couple blocks away, which makes it convenient to go every day.  There are such easy recipes out there, you can’t go wrong.

Also, some food that is good to have on hand is: bread, butter, eggs, milk, some fruit (apples, bananas), and some veggies to snack on (carrots, celery, tomatoes)


Some chores to think about:

Daily: empty/load dishwasher, clean kitchen

Weekly: laundry, vacuum, collect and put out the garbage/recycling on garbage day, change bedding, clean bathroom, general tidy

Monthly: decluttering, dust, wash floors (this could probably be done every couple of weeks actually)

I try to make the bed and tidy up every day so that it doesn’t get to be too much.  And try to keep all the dirty laundry in hampers, because it looks like a hurricane’s gone through your bedroom if you leave everything where it lands.  

One thing I don’t do nearly enough of is dusting.


I hope this helps!  If I think of anything else, I’ll add it.

Post # 7
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Martha Stewart wrote a big book about housekeeping, and it’s pretty good. It tells you how to clean each part of your house, and how often each thing needs to be done. You can find it here:


As far as learning how to cook, I would start slowly. Baking is harder than cooking so maybe hold off on that. The Bride and Groom First and Forever Cookbook is one of my favorites for learning how to cook. http://www.amazon.com/Bride-Groom-First-Forever-Cookbook/dp/B0006BD9D8/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1289515773&sr=1-2 It tells you how to stock your panty, what to cook for different meals, and even has some party menus in case you want to invite people over for dinner. The recipes are good for learning but they aren’t boring either. They don’t taste like something a child would cook 🙂

Post # 8
631 posts
Busy bee

I second the recommendation of a book.  If you go on amazon.com or half.com you can probably find half a dozen different “how to” books on housekeeping.  And cooking — well we all know there are books for that!  🙂  Pick one for a new cook and just start working your way through it. 

Good luck hon! 

Post # 9
641 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@ScooterBride:  I am a lot like you and never learned…I highly suggest Fly Lady…her system literally tells you everything that you need to do on a daily basis and you also get encouraging emails.


Good luck, I know it can be tough, and stressful. 

Post # 10
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

The internet is a very useful source. You can literally google anything and get directions or a video about how to do it. I never knew how to boil an egg b/c living at home my mom always did them, and I didn’t pay attention. So I googled it. I didn’t know how to knead bread, so I googled it and watched a video.

Also, I’m sure your fi would be happy to teach you some things. When I moved in with my husband, he showed me how to use his washer and dryer, and his dishwasher b/c they were a little different then mine.

Post # 11
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2000

I like checking out books on the subject in the library. There really are a lot of helpful resources out there.

Sidenote: My mom did everything around the house out of divorce guilt and motherly love so i didn’t lift a finger until much later in life. So I think I can understand what you may be feeling–I didn’t learn how to do a load of wash until my freshman year in college. I was complaining to my roommate that  the washer was broken, with all my clothes and detergent already in it. She went to help me and had to show me to PULL the washer knob up, not just turn it. You are not alone and it can be learned!!

Post # 12
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I agree with all the previous posts. I think this is a great opportunity to explore the domestic world. It sounds like you are fairly intimidated by it all. Just take charge. Read up on some of the topics (the resources listed here are great, I’m sure, but even browsing the web or reading a magazine, like Real Simple could help), and make your own lists. I understand with the ADD it’s hard, but just make a list of the big things you know (or use MsGolightly‘s). Keep up on them and in your free time study up and add things to your list. Cooking can especially be quite the adventure. Try to keep it simple and have fun.

And take pride in what you’re doing. That always helps.

Post # 13
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Honestly, this doesn’t sound like very fun for you… this is going to sound harsh but – why don’t you just find yourself a job, that way you and your FH are on a level ground. What if he feels you aren’t doing a good enough job, is he going to resent you? Or what if you start feeling like Cinderella? I just personally don’t think it’s very good for you. I understand what you’re saying about the bus schedule, but really? Is it that unreliable? I take 2 trains and a bus everyday to work. It’s not ideal, but I do what I need to in order to get by. Or is there anyway your FH could drop you off to work on his way? I just think you need to consider a few more options.


Post # 14
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I was in the same situation,with regards to the cleaning-you learn by experience,Just go with logic,if there is something on the floor,pick it up and put it away,vaccum every few days,keep the kitchen tidy and clean (took me a hell of a long time to get to grips with this one,I used the kitchen as a dumping ground)

If you run your finger along a surface and its dusty,dust it. Bulk buy on cloths,sponges,polish and a good general all round cleaner (something like a kitchen and bathroom surface cleaner) but beware some surfaces wont react well with some surfaces (if your unsure check on the internet or bottle) empty garbage when its full,change your bed sheets and wash them once a week (always fun trying to get sheets back on)

as for cooking, dont be offended but I find books over here great (UK) studen grub is the best,it tells you all the basics,and what terms mean what (I honestly didnt know the difference between beating and folding)If your stuck  with something PM me!


Post # 16
61 posts
Worker bee

I second the poster who recommended Fly Lady.  She sends out daily emails, with detailed directions, of what needs to be done.  Once you learn how to keep house, it becomes second nature and you can then unsubscribe from her email list.

Good luck.

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