- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I had a weird childhood. Among other things, I lived with a grandmother who took care of me, but didn’t really raise me or really teach me anything (ok, nothing beyond school-related, as she was a retired teacher) about how to live in the real world. But on the other end of things, I got pretty much whatever I want, she did everything for the house, and I was extremely spoiled in pretty much every other area.
However, that does not work so well now that I’m an adult. Until I moved in with FH, I was either completely on my own, or only had my own room in a roommate’s home. I never had to be responsible for anything other than my own room and my dog. Nobody ever asked me to do more, and I never learned how.
My most recent job was only seasonal over the summer, and it’s darn near impossible to find anything else around here that I can get hired for, and actually show up for. My only transportation (by choice) is a scooter, and the bus system around here is so limited it might as well not exist. We just had our first snow last night, which signals that I’m going to be stuck in the house a lot for the next few months. I’ll ride in the cold, but I won’t ride if the roads aren’t clear. I haven’t been able to find a job that will work with the limited bus schedules, in case I’m not able to ride.
So with me pretty much being stuck home for a while, FH has had a few discussions with me. He says rather than see me struggle to find a winter job I may not even be able to get to, he’d honestly rather pay my bills and just have me do the housework. Seems like a pretty easy compromise.
Except I don’t know how. It sounds stupid, especially for a 28 year old woman. But nobody ever taught me this stuff. None of it. I literally don’t know what all needs to be done. I mean, some of it is obvious… empty/run the dishwasher, vacuum occasionally, declutter things… but that’s about all I know. I’m rubbish with cooking, because my grandmother always bought take-out or frozen dinners. When I was on my own, I did the same thing, because I didn’t even know what to buy to do my own cooking. I ask FH to help me come up with lists to work from, but he’s an engineer… in his perfect world, everybody already knows all this stuff, and all I should have to do is look at a room and magically know what to do with it. That’s one of the few beefs we can’t get over… he’s a perfect engineer who gets frustrated with the imperfect world he lives in. Me being ADD doesn’t help that much.
Anybody else ever deal with this, and find ways to learn it all? I’m not trying to be whiney, I just literally never learned this stuff. I don’t know what needs to be done, when I should do it, or how often. Yeah, I know, it seems stupid. Like I said… weird life.