(Closed) Doing the unthinkable! Unasking bridesmaids…

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would wait for now. It’s unwise to ask someone so early, and this is the exact reason why. Who knows how you’ll feel in over a year? Maybe they’ll step down themselves and you won’t have to talk to them about it. Unless they’ve done something horribly wrong, (and it doesn’t sound like they have) I think it’s too early to have this conversation. 

Post # 4
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I mean, you would be more upset having them in your wedding than not, you don’t mind losing those friendships, and they have not invested any money in your wedding then do what you have to do. 

As for advice, I would be polite, discreet and don’t beat around the bush. 

Post # 5
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Be polite and straight to the point- think of this like ripping off a bandaid. Don’t prolong it any longer if this is for sure what you want.

Post # 6
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

In My Humble Opinion, if you aren’t that close to them, they probably are thinking the same thing and wondering why you asked them.  I wouldn’t wait any longer….even though your wedding is a year away, some jobs (like DH’s) require that he “estimate” which months/holidays that he wants off so they can coordinate it.

Just be sure this is what you want….

Post # 7
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I agree with texasbee, they are probably thinking the same thing.  Honestly, if it was casual and not formal, just don’t bring up any wedding plans with them.  Move on with your plans with the BMs you do want in the wedding. If one of the other three ask you, that’s when you say something along the lines of “I’ve decided to have a smaller bridal party”.

It may be different in the US (in fact it is, because things like Save-The-Date Cards don’t seem to exist up here, not that I’ve ever heard of) but anyone I have known has never done the formal asking of BMs. I just told my BMs and they were like ‘Cool!’ It wasn’t a huge deal.

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